Putting in my 2 cents. I think the tank is the leader. But being a leader and being a tyrant are 2 different things. For myself, I try to change and adapt to the group. And when I am new to a dungeon, I will let the group know and ask them to guide me if need be.

On the other hand, I've been leveling my healer and man watching some of these tanks and having done the dungeon 100s of times, I just wanna be like OMG why would you do that? But I do my best to hold my tongue cause for me, everyone is different, everyone plays differently, and what you may think is the right way may not be what someone else thinks is the right way.

I have noticed though that this "people are d-bags" thing seems to appear more near the end-game. In the earlier game, people seem to be a lot more open and a lot more forgiving. But that may be because I played this from earlier access until now so I may have just been lucky to have lots of new players in my groups. But now that I'm in end-game, it seems like either everyone thinks they know exactly how to play and how everyone else should play, or everyone wants to be complete d-bags and screw up/waste your time. The other day I was in DF for 60 minutes waiting for Ifrit HM just to have a whm pull Ifrit at the beginning and wipe us. And he kept doing that until people left. So I just wasted freaking 60 minutes and I'd have to wait another 60 minutes if I wanted to try through DF again... Same with CM, I waited 45 minutes to get into CM just to have some WAR who pretending like he was hot stuff, pulled mobs in before the group was there and destroyed all of our cannons, then left. So we got to do CM the old fashioned way...

Anyway, let's just all agree to respect each other and the way people are. If I'm in a group and the tank has asked me to do something a certain way, if I disagree I let him know, if he doesn't want to agree with me then I'll just do it his way. If we die then he sees I'm right, if not then it turned out to be good so lets move on.