I call out failures as soon as they happen. This tends to be as the tank most of the time, since that's what I play most, but I'll do it as any role. I even call out my own mistakes if I happen to make them -- I'm an equal opportunity shamer. The issue is that most people are just god-awful bad at games, and can't seem to accept blame. Look, I watched you f it up, accept responsibility for the wipe and stop failing. I had an Ifrit HM group last night that even managed to chain fails together. Offtank was terrible at stunning, so we didn't have LB3 going into nails, and then the SMN was an idiot and used LB2 instead of waiting 20 seconds to get level 3. It's things that like that which reduce my tolerance to zero. Two people had to completely fail at their job in order for us to wipe to an easy fight, and yet it still happened. Repeat that a thousand times over across many games, and you'll get people who appear to be dicks.