The ProBro and You

[Jyoeru]

The ProBro is that dude who knows your class better than you, tells you what to do, and gets angry when he dies in a fire because "stupid healer" and "stupid tank," as he might yell in party chat.

The ProBro is usually good at his role, so long as he is fighting a carcass that won't defend itself. ProBros tend to group up in clusters of 100s of people in what is called a Free Company. This isn't to say that Free Companies are bad; quite the contrary. You can usually tell if you're dealing with a ProBro because his Free Company's name is flashy and indicative of true power zerging skill. Examples of such names might be "Crits and Giggles," where if you don't have the crits, there'll be no giggles.

ProBros come in all shapes and sizes, and will stare at you intently until they get the buff or reaction they are looking for (BTW, can we please remove the stare animation? It is really creepy, especially from that impish race). They aren't just limited to DPS; nay--there are plenty of ProBro healers and tanks too! These little guys are most known for their inability to stay in a group if even the slightest thing goes wrong. For them, it is no problem to ride their chocobo around the world while waiting for another group to gather. It is estimated that there is exactly 1 ProBro tank for every 1 ProBro healer for every 2,435,643.2 ProBro DPSers.

You should approach ProBros with caution. Stroke their ego with warm milk and cookies. Remind them how awesome they are and how lucky you feel to be in their presence. When they die (often), encourage them to build up resistance and stamina with physical activity, such as running back to the group. They'll be mega super buff in no time, and those cleaves they were eating will quickly become nothing more than flesh wounds.

Never ever ever feed a ProBro. They have a highly specialized diet, and to feed them anything contrary is to expose them and you to painful flatulence. If you do decide to toss them a snack, make sure it includes a nice tall glass of Positivitea.

Remember, ProBros are important members of our community. They bring years of experience--not only in game, but life--that we can learn from. They will help you burn even the mightiest of dragons with the fury of their hotkeys. All they require is a little TLC, and they will make you proud of being who they want you to be.

[Jyoeru]

I had one calling me and my team (there was about 4-5 of us from the same FC) a bunch of noobs while finishing a Castrum run.

All level 50's, finishing a Castrum run, and yet we are noobs....I fail to see the logic there! lol

Noob is the mating call of a ProBro. He learned the word from the non-insulting word "newbie," which came from EverQuest folk I believe. Over time, newbie became noob, which I presume relates to the word boob, as though it is insulting to be either new or boob. When I hear the word noob, I presume the speaker finds me attractive, and I promptly remove all of my armor to show him/her my wares. I have pretty impressive wares. I'd noob me.

ProBro is that guy that tells the healer to "protect" at the start of the instance.
Normally while you are already casting it.

He will frequently request it after you've cast it, too. ProBro tanks will demand a protect while they're running deep into the bowels of a dungeon, and then get mad that they did not get their protect. Typically, this requires you to recast it as they gallantly grab every single mob on the map. Then they get mad that you stole all of the enmity.

+1
Quality entertainment for a drunk, after work Kenni.

Thank you. :3

You're welcome I can't wait to get off work, get drunk, and do some more Stone Vigil!

a lot of this "probro" is coming from a... DPS i guess

am i raaaaiiiiittttt?

Only because DPS is the highest population of players. No one type is exclusively of this mindset. Though, I did have a very cute DPS ProBro today, and it is to him this post is dedicated!

[Mazi]

Just edit your original post and you can fit the second part.

[Jyoeru]

grr, I had to chop it all up and lost it...

[Issac]

+1
Quality entertainment for a drunk, after work Kenni.

Thank you. :3

[DeeJayImut]

a lot of this "probro" is coming from a... DPS i guess

am i raaaaiiiiittttt?

[Tyrial]

Might also want to add in the ones who rage at more experienced people explaining dungeon mechanics to new players and rush off ahead to play tank as a DPS, ran into one of those guys in Haukke Manor earlier today

ProBros also tend to throw the "scrub" insult around often.

[Obreck]

Might also want to add in the ones who rage at more experienced people explaining dungeon mechanics to new players and rush off ahead to play tank as a DPS, ran into one of those guys in Haukke Manor earlier today

ProBros also tend to throw the "scrub" insult around often.

Yeah, those guys I just sit back and let tank. Hey, they clearly know how to do my job better than I do "They got this" as they always love to remind people.

Another tip: NEVER, EVER give a serious reply to a ProBro insult, especially if it involves profanity or bigotry. If you must reply make your response as goofy and irrelevant as possible.

[Tyrial]

Yeah, those guys I just sit back and let tank. Hey, they clearly know how to do my job better than I do "They got this" as they always love to remind people.

Oh look, a fellow Leviathan player XD Think I've seen you around from time to time lol

[TheMoonflow]

ProBro is that guy that tells the healer to "protect" at the start of the instance.
Normally while you are already casting it.