Maybe the infinite hate button we have only works on other party members.

Seriously tho, managing hate is as important for you as it is for them. I've tanked AK plenty of times with my +1 friend and he never pulls aggro off me because he knows how to manage it. The only reason you can ever lose aggro and it be your fault is if you literally have 0 idea what you're doing or a healer pulls the mob off you without overhealing (which is basically the same as the first). If DPS is unloading all over the mobs, especially ones you don't have marked as #1, then let them tank it. If they start complaining, leave. The 15 minute lock-out is worth it when the rest of the run will take so much longer and you won't have any fun doing it. I've sort of given up DFing AK and just run it with 3 people from my FC whenever I need to, helps a lot since it eventually becomes second nature how to do your job in that dungeon and how everyone else does their's.