Majority of your post seems to be about stupid people being stupid rather than anything to do with gear levels.

But as for your original question, it's easy with single target relic users that can focus fire. Aoe/split targets though and things can get messy, especially if they unload right at pull. With ifrit weapon I could usually manage aggro well enough, though there are many times when you'll lose threat for a second (and due to stupid hate lag the enemy may run away only to immediately turn back to you once reaching destination). Since you're WAR liberal use of Overpower usually saves the day, and in my experience it's often not worth trying to go for Maim/Storm's Eye combo because you really need the threat from BB/Overpower going constantly. With a geared out group things die fast anyway.