I'm having a hard time understanding your position. On one hand you seem to be quite adaptative to your group's desires and skills as the second and third paragraphs show, but on the other you say stuff like "screw you, I do what I want" and "I don't allow people to force me into a faster pace", or even "someone doesnt like it then maybe they should tank instead". It seems like you're basically saying "I'm gonna do my best to achieve what I think is good for the party, but don't ever tell me what to do 'cause I'm your boss and I get to decide!".
So, I have to agree with the case of the sole DPS going to pull stuff on their own, and the way you adapt to your party. But I'm going to say that I disagree with the part that implies that tanks get to decide the pace of the dungeon for the entire group (if that wasn't what you implied, then I'm sorry, just consider the rest of this post as a general statement about that implication). The group as a whole definitly has a say in how fast should things go. If 3 out of 4 people want the run to be faster (like in the OP's case), and nothing objectively prevents it, then so be it. If you go "screw you, I do what I want", it's not much better than what the "you don't pay my sub" crowd is doing.
Doing a dungeon is a team effort. Being selfish in that environment is counter productive and has a high chance of people making you have a taste of your own medicine ("Oh, YOU decide the pace of the pulls? Then I decide the pace of the heals. Have fun dying alone.")
It's not because -most of the time- people just silently go with the tank's pace that they can't raise their voice or that the tank can go "it's my job and my job only, you don't have a say in that". That default situation is not an admission that the tank is an "indisputable leader" that can shut anyone down because "it's my responsability so screw you, I do what I want".
So, in a sense, no, the tank doesn't decide the pace of the run alone. It's just that most people don't care, in which case it become the tank's burden. But it's just that, a burden. Not an indisputable entitlement or priviledge to be a diva like some people in this thread think. And when people do care and speak up, then the tank has the same weight in the decision as any other party member.
And if the situation is irreconcilable, then the votekick feature can be used. Especially if it's 3v1.



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