Pro tip: Tell me you're new to a dungeon /rant

[Dequoy]

Hi everyone, I'm a new player to FFXIV. I have been playing for about two weeks and it's really fun so far. There's so much to do! I just wanted to just leave my opinion on the discussion since it seems that new players are the basis of some arguments. First off I'd like to share my thoughts on the following:
Silence in response to "Is anyone new?"
I am a shy person and my quiet behavior was reinforced by most of my leveling experience as I played the game. Also I have been flamed and kicked in runs just because I said I was new. I usually do not speak in chat unless someone specifically addresses me because of this. I always thought that the notice "there is a new player to the dungeon in the party" was enough to express my presence without singling me out.
What do you mean by "quiet behavior was reinforced by most of my leveling experience"
Players generally do not talk much in FFXIV. Almost all the way to level 50 I had no meaningful conversation with other players. Most of the time I was simply ignored when I tried to ask higher level players for help (used the global language function). I would have to spend a good amount of time occasionally to find guides on location points rather than ask someone to point it out. I ignored random friend requests as I leveled. I had an unfortunate experience early on in which I got mail spammed by a gil selling bot that I accepted a friend request from thinking it may have been another new player who wanted to party. Also I may be an odd person but I find it weird to get a friend request out of nowhere from someone I do not know and have never spoken with. Ignoring silent free company requests also came from this reasoning. Although I was flattered, I did not want to be tossed into a group that was completely alien to me and may not care whether I was there or not within an hour or so.
Dungeon/Raid experience, it says I'm new because I am
I generally do not look up a guide until I have experienced a run firsthand because it takes a lot of the enjoyment away for me if I watch someone else run through it first. I usually catch onto mechanics quickly but if I’m not confident I’ll be okay I will ask before the run. I do pay attention to the chat even if I do not like to talk much. If I make a mistake with mechanics and someone explains what to do I will try to correct myself. I would just like that explanation to exclude flaming.
My default dungeon pacing mentality
In regards to speedruns. I do not mind doing a speedrun if a majority of the party is capable of doing so (even if my gear cannot handle it very well). I will stick behind the tank and do my best to dps whatever enemies he/she pulls aggro on. This is because I get to learn firsthand how a speedrun of said dungeon is done so that I'll know how to do it if I come back to it later (hopefully better geared than before).
So what's my point?
I am uncomfortable responding to "Is anyone new?" whether I am or not because of conditioning and bad experiences with backlash. I prefer to speedrun in order to learn how stronger players may run the dungeon and can use that as reference (and tone it down in future parties that may not be as strong). Whether it is in my defense or not, I would find NyarukoW's methods of impeding a run obnoxious. Even if I am not strong enough to handle a speedrun, I would still learn how a speedrun is usually done on that dungeon if I just follow the tank. I have learned through mistakes that knowing when a tank going to just pull a mob to another position or stop and hold aggro is important because I can accidentally create more work for the tank or healer by dpsing too early and pulling aggro onto my much squishier self (very sorry healers); so it helps in the future if I know what the tank is going to do.
Basically my mentality is "show me the hardest and I can take the easiest" while the reverse can quickly make an inexperienced player fall behind.