please learn to take advice.

Stop Being So Sensitive in FFXIV Ultimates: A Reality Check
Let’s talk about something that wipes more parties than mechanics ever could: fragile egos.

You queue into an Ultimate thinking, “Alright, let’s prog, learn, improve.” But the moment someone says, “Hey, mitigation was missed,” half the party gets offended like they were personally insulted.

Grow up.

This is Ultimate content—not casual roulette, not a glam farm, not a place for soft feelings. This content is built to test you. It’s punishing, unforgiving, and demands execution, communication, and accountability. And yet, when someone offers constructive feedback, half the group responds with:

“That’s rude.”
“I didn’t ask.”
“Don’t be toxic.”

Let me be clear—pointing out a missed cooldown that led to a wipe isn’t toxic. It’s called raiding. If your Reprisal is late and we die to a raidwide, don’t act like being called on it is an act of war. That’s not harassment—it’s the truth.

If you can’t handle someone telling you what went wrong, you’re not ready for Ultimates.

Why Is This So Common?
Because people tie their self-worth to their performance. They don’t want to hear they did something wrong. They want praise for showing up—not feedback to help them grow. They act like being corrected is an attack on their personality instead of what it really is: a team effort to progress.

They’ll say:

“That’s just how I play.”

“You don’t need to coach me.”

“Let’s just pull.”

But the moment nobody says anything, and you keep wiping for the same reason—you complain about the group being bad. Which is it?

You want the weapon, the title, the clout, but none of the effort it takes to actually earn it. You expect clears while rejecting the process that leads to them. That's not confidence—that's delusion.

How to Actually Improve
If someone points something out, don’t get defensive—just listen.

If you mess up, own it. Fix it. Move on.

If a cooldown is mistimed, adjust. Don't argue.

Understand that feedback isn’t cruelty—it’s part of Ultimate raiding.

This isn’t about being mean. This is about being honest. And if your first reaction to feedback is to shut down, lash out, or accuse people of being toxic—you're actively holding the party back.

So Please—for Everyone’s Sanity
If you're joining an Ultimate PF, and you're working on mechanics that require coordination and timing—drop the ego. Accept the feedback. Make the adjustment. Say “thank you.” And pull again.

That’s how clears happen. That’s how you get better. That’s how teams succeed.

If you can't handle someone respectfully telling you to use your mitigation properly, then maybe—just maybe—Ultimate content isn’t what you thought it was.

Not everyone has to be a raid god.
But everyone should at least try to be worth bringing to the next pull.

Hehe… haha… wipe again, I dare you.

This is what statics are for if it bothers you that much. I've had several parties where one person freaks out because someone made a simple mistake. Most of the time parties prog slow. You just have to accept that.

getting a "have you said thank you once" in party finder is really funny.

I mean I am guessing you are venting so I don't want to bore you with a lecture.

Probably the only thing I'll say is that the etiquette on Ultimates ends up being kind of different than savage. How you communicate in Ultimates feels kind of professional, so bursting out a "PLEASE MITIGATE" feels unproductive.

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Originally Posted by Volgia

I mean I am guessing you are venting so I don't want to bore you with a lecture.

Probably the only thing I'll say is that the etiquette on Ultimates ends up being kind of different than savage. How you communicate in Ultimates feels kind of professional, so bursting out a "PLEASE MITIGATE" feels unproductive.

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How do you go from “Hey, mitigation was missed,” to "PLEASE MITIGATE"? They are not the same.

And the sentiment is the same regardless of content. You should be able to discuss something that was done incorrectly, whether it is EX, Unreal, Savage or whatever. If someone misses something, its not an accusation. Its just an acknowledgement and make sure that everyone is on the same page.

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Originally Posted by ChrysOCE

How do you go from “Hey, mitigation was missed,” to "PLEASE MITIGATE"? They are not the same.

And the sentiment is the same regardless of content. You should be able to discuss something that was done incorrectly, whether it is EX, Unreal, Savage or whatever. If someone misses something, its not an accusation. Its just an acknowledgement and make sure that everyone is on the same page.

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Oh I will not challenge your point that was just clear communication, but in Ultimate everyone has a stand of really knowing what they are doing so unless the mitigation is missed on the same spot several times they KNOW they missed it. It was probably a mistake.

The problem is that they make the last 1% in this 1000+hr omni-class omni-crafter solo game to be forced multiplayer. This will lead to frustration and short temper by default and will just push people towards boost sellers. If you have 7 friends (real friends, not online acquaintances aka just sharing your addiction) to play these 1% with while having a laugh then hey, congratulations you're the 0.01% in this game. The vast majority doesn't.

TBH I'd just wait until the game dies down a bit more so they will be forced to do NPCs for everything at some point.

Uh maam I don't play Fragile Feelings XIV to take constructive criticism ok? lol but in all honestly yeah this games got the most fragile egos i've ever seen, and i've played dozens of mmos.

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Originally Posted by YovelaLindswood

Uh maam I don't play Fragile Feelings XIV to take constructive criticism ok? lol but in all honestly yeah this games got the most fragile egos i've ever seen, and i've played dozens of mmos.

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They're balancing out the arrogant narcissists.

Tell me this was FRU PF without telling me this was FRU PF

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Originally Posted by Mawlzy

They're balancing out the arrogant narcissists.

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Someone's gotta keep me grounded :)

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Originally Posted by YovelaLindswood

Someone's gotta keep me grounded :)

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Well played :)

The "let's just pull" is certainly the one thing that got on my nerves.

or just people who pulls in your stead is annoying or tanks that boast about being good but use zero mitigation x)

No cap somebody who’s bothered enough to make a forum post about people’s gameplay in prog is somebody I wouldn’t wanna play with lmao

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Originally Posted by os12ispeak

Stop Being So Sensitive in FFXIV Ultimates: A Reality Check
Let’s talk about something that wipes more parties than mechanics ever could: fragile egos.
[...]
Hehe… haha… wipe again, I dare you.

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Why don't you tell that people ingame who raid with you?

Oh wait.

Because maybe you'd get reported for harassment...?

Someone else could as well write a post about you unable to read the room, they would be probably just as right.

Advice giving is being met with negative responses. Cause at some point in history people giving advice attached it too their pride. And started cussing people out for not using said advice leading to the current day issue with how it is recieved.

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Originally Posted by missTori

No cap somebody who’s bothered enough to make a forum post about people’s gameplay in prog is somebody I wouldn’t wanna play with lmao

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at least OP doesn't do a creepy roleplay in a dungeon with random xx) like dang told that person to stop and drop because well if you don't know both were friends well it's limit harassment and creepy. yet got told I was in need to be put on a leash like dude just do the dungeon then RP outside xx)

I've found that just giving global advice, without targeting it at an individual player works nicely. Like: We need to make sure someone does X when the boss does Y. Of course, this only works if the person who failed to do X recognizes his failure and corrects it.

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Originally Posted by os12ispeak

Stop Being So Sensitive in FFXIV Ultimates: A Reality Check
Let’s talk about something that wipes more parties than mechanics ever could: fragile egos.

You queue into an Ultimate thinking, “Alright, let’s prog, learn, improve.” But the moment someone says, “Hey, mitigation was missed,” half the party gets offended like they were personally insulted.

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How to say it was about Burnished Glory 2 without saying it :).

Let me tell you, that shit is a nightmare to heal even with people doing their mits.
FRU is not super hard, mechanically, but healers are by far the hardest role to play there, especially given how unreliable mitting is done by people in general + the fact that you need to know some of the timing perfectly as you have also to heal people sitting in Narnia while resolving your own mechanic.