The player-generated social beehive in FFXIV is a fascinating thing involving a lot of hard work, passion and effort. It is also a thing that I've been observing from a distance for some time due to some of the unintuitive "unwrittens" that have colored my experiences in other elements of the game. I don't want to dwell on that, except with how it applies to the topic at hand.
On topic: I have followed friends to venues before, but it was an arms' length thing, literally following someone else's lead. Any time you leave the game's main thoroughfare as presented by the devs themselves, you risk stepping on toes that the game didn't put there, and my observations of "venues" and such have felt like I was missing a lot of those "unwrittens."
My go-to example, based on an actual moment I lived through, is the idea of vendors at these venues. I felt very out of place and out of my element at a club I once attended, where "drinks at the bar" were advertised. I asked my friend I was following to the venue if we could just RP the buying and consuming of drinks in party channel emotes between the two of us, and the response I got felt very "awww let's be easy on the new guy" and while we did work within my comfort zone, I felt like I broke an unwritten rule, and I haven't gone back since. Everyone seemed too busy, ingrained and knowledgeable to ask "um, how do I buy a drink," and that very vibe encapsulates the tentativeness of this thread. It's potentially ridiculous to ask "how do I club," but I mean... these are institutions of social judgment and players' "house rules." I'm not a shut-in, I know how to talk to people, but as my "buy a drink" moment illustrated, there's a less intuitive layer of "the right thing to say" that I obviously don't know.
Springboarding off that little anecdote, I turn to the question at hand: What are the common points of perhaps less intuitive etiquette for one interested in checking out a venue, or other player-run event? If you could put up, I don't know... like maybe a billboard, to tell people "please know this before you try to actively socialize in FFXIV's nightclubs," what would be on this entirely metaphorical billboard?
I'd ask if I'm overthinking it, but like... it wasn't clear how to buy a drink, and asking to just keep it in party emotes felt awkwardly received. Things in that vein are not as intuitive as maybe you have taken for granted! Pretend I'm... not 12, that's underage, but pretend someone is new and looking to pick a corner of a hotspot to people watch and schmooze! Do we tip staff? What's the price range? Are there terms we should know like in every other element of an MMORPG? I'm not talking obvious "don't be a creep" stuff, I know all that (but if you wanna stress that for general visibility, go ahead!), I mean the less intuitive stuff, more logistical stuff.
...Or is this haze of "unwrittens" intended to "filter?" After all, social fronts are potentially competitive warfronts too. If so, I guess that's fair (no one has a right to attend these functions after all), but I feel it's fair to ask if that's the case, you know? Like no one is entitled to social acceptance, and I'm not asking for that to change, but I would just to not make a fool out of myself, or kill the vibe for others, and just to feel more comfortable stepping in the door.
I will appreciate any and all helpful replies. I'd ask you to be gentle for my sake and others, but we're beyond the things guaranteed by one's subscription, so I don't really have the right to ask that... but the implied desire for civility is there.
Thank you for reading!
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08-09-2022, 11:01 AMOmedonTips for seamlessly entering FFXIV's player-made "nightlife?"
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08-09-2022, 11:14 AMLunalepsy
I feel all these venues are just social fillers. I never leave Ul'dah, and I still make tons of friends and talk to random people every day. When people ask me, "Why don't you go to venues?" I simply reply, "Why? There's no need since I get my social fill here."
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08-09-2022, 11:34 AMkevin_satronQuote:
Originally Posted by Lunalepsy
"balmung"
ofc you never leave ul'dah, lol -
08-09-2022, 12:06 PMLunalepsyDo you doubt my cunning? o3oQuote:
Originally Posted by kevin_satron
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08-10-2022, 12:08 AMOmedonThat is of course valid, but I don't want to downplay the good time people seem to have attending these events that people legitimately put a lot of time and effort into! I too have lately had a lot of fun hanging around performing bards in town, it's even inspired me to try it myself, and yet that's also what's making me side-eye venues and events, as I slooowly embrace the fact that there's a whole world (many of them even) of hopping places out there!Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunalepsy
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08-10-2022, 12:46 AMAelin_Ashryver
I don't really roleplay and when I do go to a club and they have a bartender I just ask for a random drink and it works, venue people are generally nice and will go along with you. Think you overthink things, just try something and if it works cool and if the venue or people have an issue they will send you a tell. Like the tells you get to hide a minion, or the tells I get to come back down when I go into a VIP only area >.>
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08-10-2022, 01:05 AMNekoMataMataThis is probably the best idea. If you're looking to get into overworld rp in venues then going to the bar area or any other area that has staff doing anything is your only choice.Quote:
Originally Posted by Aelin_Ashryver
Most other areas are just filled with people either afking or talking in private. -
08-10-2022, 05:02 AMLunalepsyTo each their own. I don't need to RP/pretend to engage with people, socialize, and have a good time. It feels like an excuse or an extra layer for social interactions, but if that works for some people, that is great!Quote:
Originally Posted by Omedon
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08-10-2022, 05:21 AMGerythOkay you were already overthinking this but here you're way overthinking. I highly doubt there's some kind of super secret "here's how you gotta act to be in the cool club and if you have to ask, you're out" kind of deal.Quote:
Originally Posted by Omedon
Just go with the flow, observe, and use your common sense to fit in. You're unlikely to step out of line but if you do someone will surely politely correct you. Don't worry about it. -
08-10-2022, 06:01 AMLilpoundcake
i goto the clubs nightly for full immersion check out the stream theres some good dj's out there esp on crystal DC
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08-10-2022, 12:24 PMLianaThorne
This is why I don't go to clubs...people stressing out about going to stand around afk/bees knees to a random DJ on twitch and whether or not they'll be accepted into a crowd that half the time has the emotional maturity of high schoolers. If you're reading this and that offends you, ask yourself why.
Lounge/cafe scene...ya'll are cool though. -
08-10-2022, 01:13 PMKnot_DThis one is so hard to find on Limsa advertisement. It's always the nightclub shout but not the chill spot like Lounge or cafe...Quote:
Originally Posted by LianaThorne
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08-10-2022, 01:48 PMOmedonI learned this tonight thanks to the encouragement in this thread! I found a really nice haunted Hingan cafe and it was lovely! I'm totally going back! I successfully bought drinks!Quote:
Originally Posted by LianaThorne
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08-10-2022, 08:23 PMAlyaNimfa
Yeah I’ve found clubs and anything rp just way beyond me. I tend to stand around like a dork and watch people with no idea what to do.
I’m hoping to find a group to do things like that with when they open the new worlds in November (I’m currently on a heavy South American world, which I didn’t know when I started and I don’t speak any of their languages).
Or it could just be my crushing shyness and social anxiety lol í ½í¸‚ -
08-11-2022, 03:57 AMIllmaeranCongratulations on the successful baby-step toward the greater RP scene! I got into it here in XIV by looking at the party finder; specifically for thing like cafes, restaurants, and some bars. After going to one for a while and getting to know the staff and visitors, I started branching out. Since the RP scene, and specific venues especially, tend to have in-crowds (I hesitate to call them cliques) establishing yourself with one of them tends to help break the ice with others since you'll start seeing familiar faces when you're on the town.Quote:
Originally Posted by Omedon
I run a public bath house venue that's completely SFW and I know a number of others on my DC that are the same. That being said, there are others which are less than savory. If a venue type seems like it may be a bit sketchy for you, it's worth at least a brief visit to get a feel of the visitors. Never feel bad about just getting up and leaving if it's not for you. Nobody needs to know that you don't actually have to go help friends with a duty. :D
Chances are good you'll come across a PF listing that uses carrd.co (or is it caard.co?) as an external reference for menus and things. It's a legitimate one-page website hosting service; don't worry about them being scams.
As far as tipping; keep all the allagan coin bags you come across and/or send retainers out for 18 hour ventures. They're a good way to give people tips. I don't charge people for food/drink I serve at my place, but a little cash here and there is appreciated and the bags seem more like something gained along the way vs. actual Gil even though they're essentially the same. -
08-11-2022, 11:22 AMCidHeiralDon't worry, if you were in a club they're all afk during their /beesknees anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by AlyaNimfa
Avoid clubs like the plague and look for smaller venues for actual RP. Even if you're too shy to be the first to speak to someone else, since smaller venues are more intimate someone will probably strike up a conversation with you if you hang around long enough. :) -
08-12-2022, 08:18 AMRenaltOh hey! I've actually seen you around.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunalepsy