Meeting someone?

Hello. I was wondering about something. I play as a fem Au Ra but male irl. A friend of mine in game sent me tells that if I want to meet someone I should play a male character like a bun boi or male Au Ra.

Does it really affect in meeting anyone? Or should I be happy in what I choose to play as?

Play whatever you want and whatever makes you happy.
As a woman, I probably wouldn't develop any kind of romantical connection to someone who played a female character because I'd just simply see them as a female.

Take a look at the marriage thread. Most guys who play female characters get little to no hits. Even virtually, just like guys like eye candy, so do ladies.

A real homie wouldn't care about the race you play

Play what you enjoy seeing not what other people want to see you as. I am male playing a female character cause if I am going to invest the kind of time I have into this game. Then I want to enjoy what I am looking at when I play.

like, meet someone in game?
or, meat someone in game?

It won't impact your chances of meeting someone, but it certainly will impact the quality of the people

Personally, even knowing someone was male irl I wouldn't be inclined to view another female character as a potential romantic interest. That's just me and I have no idea how many other women feel the same.

My main's <--- a male but I have a Femroe alt and won't lie, she's made to be pure eye candy. Since all but one person I play the game with DON'T use voice chat, I can't help but see the player as their character's gender. The only exceptions to that are a couple of people who play female characters but have "come out" as male.

If I were looking to meet someone in-game to start an out-of-game relationship with, it would be a whole lot easier in the beginning if she played a female character.

Then there's my whole isekai fantasy headcanon. I wouldn't want an RL romantic partner of mine playing a male character when "The Event" happens and we're suddenly zapped into the game. That's another reason I made the alt how she is; I can imagine her as my wife's character who will eventually be "occupied" by my lovely Mrs. Yes, I'm a complete dork, but I'll embrace it. :D

Assuming that you're talking about meeting someone in the romantic way and not the friend way:

Don't be going into the game or design your character 'expecting' that you'll meet someone. 90% of couples (including one of my previous relationships that started online), just grow organically through interactions in VCs, shared discords, FC/linkshell interactions and/or just casual hangouts with friends & friends of friends. Go into the game purely to make friends and have a good time. Have an active social climate around you, and you'll naturally meet & interact with many people. Make good memories, and if you happen to meet someone and things grow organically between the two of you, so be it. But don't make it your goal, as that's setting yourself up for depression and failure.

That being said, this is an MMO, your friend is both correct and not correct at the same time. Plenty of people you'll meet don't care in the slightest about your choice of character in-game, some will as posters in this thread have shown. At the end of the day, you're going to be playing with your character for your own enjoyment, so you should design them so that way -you're- happy with their design, not for anyone else's perceived (or lack of) benefit. If you meet someone and they have tastes, you can be adults and talk it out at that time.

Some of my friends want me to try and meet someone romantically.

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Originally Posted by Velvet_Lunarfang

Some of my friends want me to try and meet someone romantically.

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Is this a dare or joke on their part, or are they sincerely hoping you'll be able to find a real life partner and are encouraging you to use the game to do so?

I met my ex-wife in a game, so I know it's possible. As the previous poster said, your best bet is to play what you want, be your genuine self, engage in communities and be open to voice chat. The worst thing you can do is force things; it's obvious and will only make you nervous or act like something you're not. BE YOURSELF! BE GENUINE! You're not everyone's type, just like I'm not everyone's type. Once I learned to accept that, my romantic life improved substantially. As long as we're always our genuine selves, when we meet people who like people like us, genuinely amazing things can happen.

Play what you want to play, be who you want to be.

Though, if you form a relationship with someone, you will likely have to deal with honesty. And that comes down to the sort of person you are inside.

As it's super common in some games it's well trodden ground; Many do deal with honesty, some don't.

Is your heart pure or dark?

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Originally Posted by Velvet_Lunarfang

Some of my friends want me to try and meet someone romantically.

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Do you want that? Because it really doesnt matter what they want - what matters is only what you want when it comes to things like this.

Outside of that I can only echo what Daeriion already said: At the end of the day your personalty will matter a lot more than your ingame-character.

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Originally Posted by Velvet_Lunarfang

Hello. I was wondering about something. I play as a fem Au Ra but male irl. A friend of mine in game sent me tells that if I want to meet someone I should play a male character like a bun boi or male Au Ra.

Does it really affect in meeting anyone? Or should I be happy in what I choose to play as?

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It does and it doesn't. Really depends on the other person. You are more likely to get attention from other guys playing a female character. But at the same time if you get to know anyone, and are looking for a connection IRL what your character gender is probably won't matter in the end.

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Originally Posted by Velvet_Lunarfang

Hello. I was wondering about something. I play as a fem Au Ra but male irl. A friend of mine in game sent me tells that if I want to meet someone I should play a male character like a bun boi or male Au Ra.

Does it really affect in meeting anyone? Or should I be happy in what I choose to play as?

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What is happening here?

Y'all use mmo games as dating apps now? Weird...

anyone who only cares about the race / gender of your MMO avatar isn't someone worth keeping, imo. play what you want, and don't actively look. if you meet someone, you meet someone. i agree with the other people who say don't force anything.

anyone who is shocked that people are using ffxiv as a dating service needs to go make a hrothgar alt and idle in limsa for more than .2 seconds on the right side of that little area between the aetherite crystal and the right-most market board.

How is it weird xD i mean people found their love partners through mmo playing together for a long time and even got engaged/married irl. I dont see what’s wrong with that lol

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Originally Posted by Velvet_Lunarfang

A friend of mine in game sent me tells that if I want to meet someone I should play a male character like a bun boi or male Au Ra.

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This is a childish sentiment, despite what any immature people would tell you.

People meet people because they are social and agreeable to others. The gender of an online character doesn't matter.

Exactly like real life. Funny how that works, huh?

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Originally Posted by Rayne6665

How is it weird xD i mean people found their love partners through mmo playing together for a long time and even got engaged/married irl. I dont see what’s wrong with that lol

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I met my wife through a BBS back in 1992; we've now been married just shy of 30 years. Granted, in those days, you had "user meets" because users were all local, but still. I met her online, and for the first couple years of our relationship, we spent far more time together online - chatting at 2400 baud and gaming in good old ASCII - than we did in person.

BBSs had to be dialed into directly, via a landline, and long-distance phone calls (could be as little as 5 miles from your calling location, here in Los Angeles anyway) incurred expensive charges per minute. No one wanted to dial long distance and pay $0.60 a minute for their BBS usage; most BBSs themselves were free, and "local" calls within your area code were free.

Hence, everyone you met "online" would generally live fairly close to yourself because everyone chose a BBS that was local to them. There were perhaps a dozen major BBSs in the Los Angeles area back in those times, and dozens or hundreds of small ones. One generally just picked from BBSs that had local numbers, and away you went. Then you'd all meet up for pizza, to shoot pool, or just to hang out and get sauced LOL.

It's worth mentioning that several other couples from the BBS I was on most often also got married, had or adopted kids and had grandkids, and are still together to this day. Not only that, but many of us from back then still keep in touch.

Man, I miss those times.

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Originally Posted by Rayne6665

How is it weird xD i mean people found their love partners through mmo playing together for a long time and even got engaged/married irl. I dont see what’s wrong with that lol

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Relationship that grows naturally from years of playing together is different than playing the game with the sole intention/expectation of wanting a romantic bond with the other person.
The latter is an immediate red flag for me personally.

I don’t know, I think of everyone on here as cartoons.

Also if I were to meet someone on here irl, they’d probably be arrested lol

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Originally Posted by einschwartz

Relationship that grows naturally from years of playing together is different than playing the game with the sole intention/expectation of wanting a romantic bond with the other person.
The latter is an immediate red flag for me personally.

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I 100% agree. To be honest, I have no respect for guys who play the game solely/mainly to pick up girls. This is a fantasy/JRPG game, not a dating sim. To me, this is disrespectful even to the devs themselves, who put so much effort into the game, only for guys (usually desperate ones or psychopaths) to reduce it to nothing more than a dating app. God, if you're a female, you'll immediately get a target mark on your head the moment these guys learn you're a girl. Kinda makes female players feel on edge all the time.

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Originally Posted by Rayne6665

How is it weird xD i mean people found their love partners through mmo playing together for a long time and even got engaged/married irl. I dont see what’s wrong with that lol

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The key point there is they found their partners through years of playing together and developing a close connection. In such a case both involved learn about each others personality, preferences and the type of person they are behind the screen. So it really doesn't matter what your ingame character looks like at all. I had a female character back when I met my partner in WoW.

This is a lot different from setting out to intentionally find romantic involvement from the start, based on your ingame characters appearance. It's far more likely to fail. You're better off sticking with whatever character you like, being a decent person and just setting out to make friends, if you do meet someone along the way you can be sure they're interested in you for who you are.

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Originally Posted by Rayne6665

How is it weird xD i mean people found their love partners through mmo playing together for a long time and even got engaged/married irl. I dont see what’s wrong with that lol

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Meeting someone you end up being romantically interested in through a hobby happens all the time and at the end of the day, MMOs are just another hobby.
Having shared interests gives something to talk about and do together and is a good point to start.
However if the intend is to meet someone or if it's always at the forefront of the mind when spending time on said hobby, it's probably not going to end well. Seen it happen, never worked out. Enjoying a hobby for what it is without constantly having the possibility of meeting someone in mind, let alonge changing something to increase the chances, is keeping it natural and if it happens, it happens. If not, then not but the person got to enjoy the hobby exactly the they wanted to.

idk yall say avatar doesn't matter but that marriage thread says different
nonetheless i think most will default female chars to be male irl anyway haha

either way ffxiv isn't tinder meeting someone usually requires fostering a relationship over several months/years so if ffxiv is the medium you wanna use ehhh go for it

If you want to keep your sanity avoid anything related to "pixel interactions" if you know what I mean.

The only reason I can see getting married in the game is for the glamour and mount.

Be whoever you wish to be, provided you don’t give the wrong vibe off or lead people on,

Can’t accomodate what people will say or think about you, but you have the choice to become something that’s for you and yours alone

Dating in this game isn't much different to me than using a dating site or app. At least dating through the game you know you both have an interest in FFXIV where through a dating app, the person may not like that you spend a fraction of your day on video games.