Stalking/Harrassment

I have been harassed in game since December of 2019. Square Enix has seemingly done nothing to help me and I am beside myself. The same player has been creating alts to impersonate my character and attempt to slander my reputation in game.

They currently have created a trial account (thankfully this one is not an impersonation) and they have left it outside of my Free Company with search info that says,

"Ayatzi Metztli = H**"

(I just came back to the game after leaving because of this harassment, hoping that psycho had moved on, but no.)

I fail to understand how this is not being taken seriously and I'd like to know why this player is allowed to continue their behavior unchecked, despite being asked to stop & having been reported. SE updated their policies about ingame harassment/stalking but fail to provide players with any real means to escape these situations, or to actually follow through with repercussions for the abusers. GM responses are always automated and no results are ever seen.

If SE isn't going to actually help players with harassment, then they need to give players more options for privacy ingame and on the lodestone. I made a forum about this harassment 1yr ago in these same forums, and tried to explain the loopholes that stalkers are able to use to harass and follow others ingame. I'm very disappointed that I am still in these forums advocating for change and still requesting support against my own stalker. Do Better Square Enix, the policies are garbage and do not help anyone.

Here is link to that forum that discusses the many loopholes that enable stalking/harassment to continue in game

https://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/threads/429255

I recommend sticking to one thread. I think the more likes your post has, the more attention it will get from the ffxiv team. So keep your original thread active with relevant discussion. I also suggest changing up your original post in the other thread. Like make it short and sweet. Put in the changes you'd like to see in terms of better privacy options. Make sure your post is easy to read instead of a wall of text. And lastly, remind people to leave a like on the post to show their support. I don't think making several threads will help. One big thread with a lot of likes would be better.

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Originally Posted by Senn

I recommend sticking to one thread. I think the more likes your post has, the more attention it will get from the ffxiv team. So keep your original thread active with relevant discussion. I also suggest changing up your original post in the other thread. Like make it short and sweet. Put in the changes you'd like to see in terms of better privacy options. Make sure your post is easy to read instead of a wall of text. And lastly, remind people to leave a like on the post to show their support. I don't think making several threads will help. One big thread with a lot of likes would be better.

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Thanks for the advice, I'll re-evaluate the original post in that thread and try to narrow the direction. I appreciate the feedback! This thread is more or less looking for resolutions to the behavior and actions of my stalker currently & just venting frustrations, which I didn't want to direct towards the other page. This player has been outside my FC for days and messaging members, Im just not sure what to do anymore. I really need help. :(

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Originally Posted by AiUsagi

Thanks for the advice, I'll re-evaluate the original post in that thread and try to narrow the direction. I appreciate the feedback! This thread is more or less looking for resolutions to the behavior and actions of my stalker currently & just venting frustrations, which I didn't want to direct towards the other page. This player has been outside my FC for days and messaging members, Im just not sure what to do anymore. I really need help. :(

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Yeah I just think people are more inclined to leave a like on a post when it has more of a direction. That's not to say you can't keep what you originally wrote, but you could maybe consider spoiler tagging it or something, and have the focal point be what kind of changes or privacy options you want.

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Originally Posted by Senn

Yeah I just think people are more inclined to leave a like on a post when it has more of a direction. That's not to say you can't keep what you originally wrote, but you could maybe consider spoiler tagging it or something, and have the focal point be what kind of changes or privacy options you want.

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Thank you, Senn. I will look into seeing what I can adjust/make better in the other thread. :)

Do these things even happen outside of Balmung?

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Originally Posted by lezard21

Do these things even happen outside of Balmung?

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Im sure my stalker would follow me to another server with an alt, want to be best friends and find out?

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Originally Posted by lezard21

Do these things even happen outside of Balmung?

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What does the server have to do with it at all? Stalking/Harassment happens everywhere in life. Not just on one server of one video game.

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Originally Posted by lezard21

Do these things even happen outside of Balmung?

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Can't tell if you're trolling or being serious. You can't be that dense.

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Originally Posted by lezard21

Do these things even happen outside of Balmung?

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A tad insensitive, aren't you?

The only reason Balmung has a higher chance of this has to do with the sheer amount of players it has and being more socially / roleplay focused thus more prone to harassers, however I assure you that this can happen on all servers, to varying degrees of frequency and severity.

If it lasts so long you must be doing something that gives the stalker satisfaction. Or not telling the whole story.
I can't imagine the GM's not taking any action if it was so one sided as you describe it to be. Based on my experience they do take action quite quickly.

Ah, I wish I had a stalker, the ones I had left me alone after getting blacklisted and ignored for a bit. I guess I'm not dramatic enough for them. :(

Contact your local authorities. I think there's not much else SE can do at this point.

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Originally Posted by Setesh45

To get someone to stalk you that much you have to actively interact with said "stalker".

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Stalkers don't just "move on" after ignoring them for a while, if only it was that easy ^^"

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Originally Posted by Wolwosh

Stalkers don't just "move on" after ignoring them for a while, if only it was that easy ^^"

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It has always been that easy for me. I guess I'm not interesting enough for them.

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Originally Posted by Setesh45

If it lasts so long you must be doing something that gives the stalker satisfaction. Or not telling the whole story.
I can't imagine the GM's not taking any action if it was so one sided as you describe it to be. Based on my experience they do take action quite quickly.

Ah, I wish I had a stalker, the ones I had left me alone after getting blacklisted and ignored for a bit. I guess I'm not dramatic enough for them. :(

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Some people literally have nothing better to do than to go out of their way to belittle or harass others; I mean, just look at you. I really don't care whether YOU believe my story. I have an entire FC that is also being affected by this harassment and people who have witnessed these occurrences. The fact that SE hasn't done anything is exactly why I took to the forums for help. I want to advocate for changes within the game, which is more productive than wasting my time "stalking my stalker" and instigating a situation that should have ended two years ago. I won't entertain you, do better as a human being.

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Originally Posted by Setesh45

Firstly, I reported you. Secondly, I have a completely different experience with SE support, that's all I stated.
I will also not judge a situation based on one side of the story. Have you considered that maybe the "victim" is not really a victim but a participant of a personal two sided war?
To get someone to stalk you that much you have to actively interact with said "stalker".

Anyway, this is an issue that should be discussed with the SE support, not publicly on the forum.

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Then you have never really, truly been stalked. That fact that you are dense enough to think you have to interact with a stalker to keep their interest is laughable.

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Originally Posted by Shin96

Contact your local authorities. I think there's not much else SE can do at this point.

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I have been incontact with them again recently and am looking into what can be done.

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Originally Posted by Setesh45

It has always been that easy for me. I guess I'm not interesting enough for them.

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Too basic maybe? :p

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Originally Posted by Reinhardt_Azureheim

A tad insensitive, aren't you?

The only reason Balmung has a higher chance of this has to do with the sheer amount of players it has and being more socially / roleplay focused thus more prone to harassers, however I assure you that this can happen on all servers, to varying degrees of frequency and severity.

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How is it insensitive to point out that whenever a topic like this pops up it's always Balmung or the Crystal DC.

Personally haven't seen this happen at all on Aether or Primal because people are too busy progging Savage/Ultimate to have time to harass others.

Crystal DC might need an exclusive moderation team, which is more or less what OP is asking for. Or take a page from LoL and disable chat in Crystal DC

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Originally Posted by Wolwosh

Too basic maybe? :p

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I call it vanilla.

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Originally Posted by lezard21

How is it insensitive to point out that whenever a topic like this pops up it's always Balmung or the Crystal DC.

Personally haven't seen this happen at all on Aether or Primal because people are too busy progging Savage/Ultimate to have time to harass others.

Crystal DC might need an exclusive moderation team, which is more or less what OP is asking for.

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I've experienced raid-related stalking twice on Primal. I think raiding and roleplay both tend to attract people with self-worth issues, so naturally you'll find lots of unstable people in both communities.

I can actually agree that Crystal appears to disproportionately have more stalking cases though. Most of the ones I'm personally familiar with were related to people perceiving the nature of an erotic roleplay relationship differently.

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Originally Posted by lezard21

Crystal DC might need an exclusive moderation team, which is more or less what OP is asking for.

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What I'm asking for is in game features to protect player privacy so that players can do more on their end to avoid these kinds of situations entirely and not have a need to rely on GMs to intervene. I should have been able to blacklist this other player and that should have been the end of it, but because they have access to my location and the location of my FC via Lodestone and Player Search, I literally have no way to put an end to the harassment BUT to rely on GM involvement, which is utter shxt. Removing a "friend" should happen on both ends, and likewise for deleting a bonding ring. I've name changed several times, but that name stays attached to the same lodestone page. Even WoW has better features to combat harassment.

Some people's definition of harassment can be pretty loose at times I feel. That said I would like the option to private my lodestone profile, play as "offline" and just in general make it possible for me to be left alone when I want to be. I don't think Yoshi P understands how messy such situations can be that they require those solutions. I had many times where if I wanted peace, my only option was to leave a community I otherwise enjoyed being in and that is not fair. I should not be made to choose between dealing with one unwanted person and my entire community. Nor should anyone else.

I've been "playfully" stalked before by an FC member. It was weird at first, then I'd see her everywhere, then she started hugging me and she would keep doing it even after I left the FC. Thankfully changing servers put an end to it. The point is it's insanely easy to find out where someone is, and I really wish there were more tools in place to combat it.

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Originally Posted by Abelisk

The point is it's insanely easy to find out where someone is, and I really wish there were more tools in place to combat it.

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Similar thing happened to me before, although it never actually bothered me because I too though it was out of playfulness in the end.

They stopped doing it when one day they come over and ask me why I ignored them all those times. Unknown to them, I actually turned off other PC’s names besides those in Friend List, Alliance, and Party. I, too would have never realized they’ve been subtly stalking me if they never told me their side of story.

That day had taught me that SE actually give a damn about stalker’s feelings. /facepalm

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Originally Posted by lezard21

Do these things even happen outside of Balmung?

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Oh, yes. Yes, they do. Sometimes, it leads to needing police involvement.

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Originally Posted by Shin96

Contact your local authorities. I think there's not much else SE can do at this point.

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This likely depends where you live. I'm 99% positive if someone like me went to my local authorities with this problem they would laugh at me and tell me to get a life and stop playing video games. That's America for you though.

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Originally Posted by AiUsagi

I have been harassed in game since December of 2019. Square Enix has seemingly done nothing to help me and I am beside myself. The same player has been creating alts to impersonate my character and attempt to slander my reputation in game.

They currently have created a trial account (thankfully this one is not an impersonation) and they have left it outside of my Free Company with search info that says,

"Ayatzi Metztli = H**"

(I just came back to the game after leaving because of this harassment, hoping that psycho had moved on, but no.)

I fail to understand how this is not being taken seriously and I'd like to know why this player is allowed to continue their behavior unchecked, despite being asked to stop & having been reported. SE updated their policies about ingame harassment/stalking but fail to provide players with any real means to escape these situations, or to actually follow through with repercussions for the abusers. GM responses are always automated and no results are ever seen.

If SE isn't going to actually help players with harassment, then they need to give players more options for privacy ingame and on the lodestone. I made a forum about this harassment 1yr ago in these same forums, and tried to explain the loopholes that stalkers are able to use to harass and follow others ingame. I'm very disappointed that I am still in these forums advocating for change and still requesting support against my own stalker. Do Better Square Enix, the policies are garbage and do not help anyone.

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I understand you. One of my stalkers moved to FFXIV, but he won't dare approach me. He knows as soon as I become aware of his presence, I will report him and let the mods deal with him. This person made my life a living nightmare, but I learned many things when I was in that same predicament. I hope this situation also becomes an invaluable experience for you so you can learn and grow from it.

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Originally Posted by JadedPurity

Can't tell if you're trolling or being serious. You can't be that dense.

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He's usually a combination of all of these things. Not always, but usually.

Maybe they could officially add a type of... Void-list... to remove another character from your screen entirely and block them from being able to join you in roulette.