Having trouble maturing enough to do Extreme content

I had started the game back in late 2016, and I've been playing since, but had kept to casual content. No ultimates, no savages, not even extremes (not from the current content at least). Slowly I feel like it's time to step up my game, but I already fail at doing unsynched fights from Stormblood.

I am willing to believe that maybe my gear could be nearer to the current ceiling, and I likely don't have the best food around for the fights, but I feel certain that failing at the mechanics or not managing to heal everyone in time are far bigger problems. During some fights I can even lose my mind, as I get lost in everything that's happening on screen. Likely not the best thing to do as a healer.

I wanted to know: What are some tips for a clumsy scaredy-cat casual who loses his head when stressed, and would like to ease his way into extreme trials? Is healer a bit too rough for that type of person?

I'd appreciate the input, thank you

I used to do a lot of extreme and savage content. For me all roles each have their own variation of stress, but, for me at least, DPS tends to be the least stressful. The reason I say that isn't because the job is easier, or because they have less things to focus on, but as a DPS I felt like for the most part if I made a mistake it wasn't going to cause an instant wipe, at least not in content I out-geared or older content. As a tank or healer a mistake usually meant a wipe so it was always more personal stress because I didn't want to let the other players down.

In your case DPS might make the stress more manageable? At the very least it couldn't hurt to give other roles a try to see which you like best.

I think where a lot of people struggle in terms of EX/savage level content is the idea of difficulty. The concept of wiping over and over while learning is completely at odds with the entire rest of the game. You need to have a different mindset going in, and be willing to lose a LOT before you finally get it. As long as you can handle that, you'll be fine. No one expects you to know everything, or even anything on your first try (just make sure you join a learning party and not a farm party.)

People go in expecting to wipe a lot while learning.
Don't fret, and just take everything in stride.

Get wrecked a lot. Its good for you. Also when you feel upset or annoyed, take a breath and tell yourself its all part of the process. It took Edison 1000 attempts to make the light bulb.

The average groups have over 1K pulls (wipes) and spend +120 hours before they have their first clear for Ultimate. A lot of groups aren't even able to clear it.


Also the worlds first groups in Savage. The reason clear it first week is because they raid up to 10 hours a day if not longer. The majority of groups clear it later (the people with jobs and can't play the entire day), there's also more info going out and people talking about strats and mechanics.


Anyway start of with Extreme and don't worry about Savage & Ultimate yet. EX is the easiest end game content and is intended to get you used to deal with mechanics while keeping high uptime and following your rotation correctly. EX is (usually) very forgiving and you can make some mistakes without causing a wipe.
Try to find a raiding FC (those are usually more 'casual friendly') or a casual (new player friendly) static and start with EX.
Watch guides and finish Titania & Innocence, don't use PF though, try to go with FC / static first. These are 'old fights' and PF is usually for farming the mount and require you to have cleared it already. After that do Hades EX.


When you can clear those 3 fights without failing or messing up try Eden Savage.


Check out the Balance Discord for info and tips on your job and BiS gear (BiS gear, BiS materies, max stat food and pots do help a lot and are usually required by most groups).
And don't have fear to mess up, everybody needs to learn. You don't want to know how many times I messed up the Evil Earth mechanic in Titan Savage before I got it right.


Last do have fun, I've seen a lot of people who are stressed out of their minds, are annoyed as hell and are constantly shouting, swearing and what not when they wipe.

A game is supposed to be fun, if I don't have fun I stop that game and do something else.

Thank you very much everyone. I shall take this advise to heart :)

There are usually practice parties for Savage and Ultimate. You can join one of those.
It feels scary and anxiety inducing at the first try with all content. A few runs and wipes makes your more confident :D

Always watch a guide before you go into practice. Unless you are joining a blind prog group, don't go in blind because you'll single handedly cause disbands. If you can comprehend the guide, you'll already be better than 80% of people you meet in practice parties. By the end of your first day you'll likely be ready for clear groups, I've never been in more than two practice groups before attempting a clear. You'd be surprised how quickly you can progress in this game once you get out of the initial starting blocks and beating PF anxiety.

I've also always recommended that people play something easy for their first clear, like a healer, a physical ranged, SAM, SMN etc. Something where you can look at mechanics and not worry about positionals and tracking buffs/debuffs, then come back to a main that has more complex rotations after you have your clear. Like I've always generally cleared first as AST and then gone back to something like Monk or Black Mage.

As far as gear goes, WHM is one of the least gear dependent classes out there so don't worry as long as you're at or above the min ilvl. For food it's the same don't go with crazy good food for ex. The only aspect of food that is worthwhile is the extra vit so just go with what is cheapest.

The others have already made the usual good points : watch/read guides, learning parties are expecting wipes so don't worry, it's perfectly fine for you to heal and contribute little to dps during prog. You only really need to worry about dps if you're nearing the clear (since enrage can be tight in clear parties) or if there's a dps check that is tight mid fight. But generally speaking, by the time you get to these milestones in prog where you want to focus more on dps, you'll already have a good understanding of when healing is required so you'll feel much more comfortable DPSing.

Just my two cents but it'll help to track boss hp as percent. Pretty much every fight in the game follows patterns and phases. Seeing exact percent will help you out.

For example, if you know your dragoon tends to get hit by a certain attack and you know its coming, you could withhold your ogcd in case they need it. If a boss shifts to a raid wide aoe at some% hp then you could pop regen or shields in preparation so that you're not panicking when the attack begins.