Is Tanking as scary as I think it is?

So I used to play WoW and while tanking was always something I wanted to try, I never did. Now that I'm giving FFXIV a shot, I decided to try out Paladin because their abilities seem cool, I really like using a sword & shield, and it gives me a chance to try tanking. I've only done the like first 3 story dungeons so my experience is honestly quite limited. The first dungeon I did had me on edge the whole time but by the third I was a bit more comfortable. Thing is that I'm worried that I'm upsetting people because I always see discussions about doing big pulls and stuff and because this was my first time tanking I was just going one pack at a time. While I'm sure that as I gain more experience as I tank, I'll be more comfortable with pulling more and more I'm just worried that I'll never go fast enough and/or be good enough. That I'll always just be wasting people's time and that they'd be better off with a different tank. That's why I find tanking scary.

I was anxious when I first started tanking too but now I'm not afraid because a) I run the show when it comes to pulls, and if you don't like it b) I can get back in instantly if kicked. I try to be as efficient as possible without putting any strain on myself or the healer, but I'm also not going to put up with impatient selfish DPS that will full sprint ahead of me into a group of enemies and then sprint back to me when they realize they're taking damage.

It gets less scary when you remember you're not the party's slave and you're not required to perform every action with perfect precision.

I found when I was learning how to tank there were a lot more nice and supporting people than mean people who will belittle you for mistakes. If you state at the beginning of the run that you're newer to tanking and learning the role 99% of the time most people will be supportive. When dealing with the mean people ignore them. Turn off the chat box if you have too. However, mean does not equal all criticism. Be open to constructive criticism that is framed politely where people are trying to help you. Tank enough and you'll get the hang of it.

No. It's the easiest it's ever been.

There is a certain anxiety that can come with tanking, though it doesn't affect everyone. This is mostly because you should be actively pulling, and if you make a mistake it's often more noticeable than say a dps accidentally messing up their rotation.

But tanking, at least in casual content, isn't really all that difficult. Keep your enmity stance buff on, unless you're off tanking in a trial/raid, and do your dps rotation to hold aggro. And learn to manage your defensive cooldowns. Mechanicaly tanking isn't all that difficult.

Tanking is easier now than ever since you no longer have to worry about holding enmity (aggro). It takes time to get used to pulling big groups. You can't do it right away and in most dungeon a good rule to follow is to only pick up 2 different groups of adds at a time. You can also ask the healer if they are fine with big pulls or even just tell them you are going to pull 2 groups at the start to see how well you and the healer do on it. If it's a wipe at the start, no big deal. Lesson learned.

Some tips I can give you for tanking and big pulls is;

1. If there are 3 or more enemies, always aoe and don't stop until there's only 2 left.
2. Remember to use your defensive cooldowns like Rampart if you pull a big group. Don't use it if there's only like 1-2 enemies left as it's just a waste and you won't have it for the next group.
3. If you decide to pull big. Commit to it. It droves everyone nuts if you grab one group and stop, do 2-3 aoe, and take off running to the next group. Throw out an aoe as you run past the first group and keep going. If you miss someone, do a shield toss instead of running back.
4. Ask the healer if they comfortable with big pulls. Most are, but some are not.
5. Always face bosses away from the entrance of the boss room. You don't always have to do this, but make this a habit as some bosses cleave and hurt the party and it's what everyone is used to when a tank grabs a boss.
6. during trash pulls, do not keep moving around and running around the adds. Pick a spot and try to keep there. If you have to move because of an attack, do it and move back. Some classes are dependent on attacking certain sides of the enemies and if you keep turning and move them around, it's just going to make them mad and will lower the dps of that player.
7. Always make sure tank stance is on when you enter a dungeon.

Keep with it for a bit. As a tank you will always be judged for everything you do. There is nothing you can do about this. People see you as the leader of the party and you decide the pace of the dungeon. The best thing you can do is make sure the run is nice and smooth.

There is less tolerance for a tanks mistakes right now, because we are more numerous than ever.
Its more stressful than it was in SB.

Coming from someone who also tanked in WoW in the past, at least up to heroic content, it's not that scary. It's a bit different feeling, I suppose, because cooldown management and rotation feel a lot more important, as well as helping out the party with things like Passage of Arms for example. I'd say keep going! I know tank anxiety is kind of a bummer but you may find something you enjoy doing!

Tanking is only stressful in the following situations

1) Duty Finder drops you into a PUG with players that are really bad and/or jerks.
2) It's someone else that is the tank but for some reason you are the one tanking.

Otherwise, no it's not really stressful overall. Maybe at first but like any other role it just takes getting used to and as long as you actually try and seek to improve you will be fine.

It's not, it's a good time to start tanking. Just take your time and go step by step, if you dont know the dj/raid very well say it. If someone doesn't like it, he can quit the team imo. As long as you learn and try to improve, you don't have to force yourself to satisfy impatient ppl.
As a tank main i always do wtf i want. Ifsomeone is not happy and ask politely, i do my best and if he is not he can quit the team i don't care.

simply let ppl know its your 1st run so they can lower expectations if they have any in a random grp and go for it. i get that some people are anxious and dont want any sort of confrontation, but everyone starts at some point, so dont be afraid and just dive in.

Just remember this mantra.

"I'm a blue DPS"
"I get the privileged to attack things before all the others just like a dps"
"I have no positionals"
"I need healing"
"I need healing"
"I need healing"
"I need healing"
"I need healing"
"I need healing"
.....

if you're not dead, you're doing fine.

Tanking is a lot easier than people like to imagine it is. From the outside looking in it can definitely seem stressful, but when you've tanked something once you can do it a thousand times over with ease. If all else fails, find friends to show you the ropes.

my first job was Paladin, and if you let people know its your first time in a dungeon. most are friendly and will even help you out with tips. holding agro is fairly easy and most dungeons are pretty straight forward so they are easy to lead the group through. as far as bosses, what i did is i made sure i watched a video of the dungeon i was going to attempt for the first time. Just so that at least i know what to expect from fights

btw - for most dungeons bosses don't directly target the tank with mechanics hehe (not all bosses though)

Right now, tanking is in its best shape for a newcomer wanting to tank. As someone whos been an on and off again tank since ARR, this game has it pretty easy when it comes to the role. And I a fairly mediocre player...

All this talk of tanks pulling big and such is nothing something you're going to have to worry until you reach level 50, and by then you're given a good number of tools and gain access to strong gear via poetics, and hopefully you will have gained the hands-on experience to manage defensive cooldowns.

If you're still on the beginning dungeons, smaller pulls are the way to go, actually. Neither you nor your healer has the toolkit needed for big pulls. The skills come gradually so you'll have time to get used to them and trying them out with bigger pulls.

People overcomplicate tanking, no it's not anywhere close to as scary or hard as people think it is.