My retainers are either lazy or thieves.

Anybody have any funny stories with their retainers? Sometimes they'll bring back great items like a Mameshiba or cool housing item, sometimes they bring back things that make you scratch your head.

My favorite is when I spend 2 ventures to send them out and they come back with a single allagan tin piece. They should have just reached into their pocket and pulled out a few gil.

Have a retainer right now who seems to enjoy robbing the Sultana. First, she brought back a Royal Plotting Table and the very next venture she brought back a painting of Nanamo. I gotta give her credit, couldn't have been easy to smuggle those out of the palace. XD

Your retainer sure is talented. I've all but given up on quick ventures on mine, except the FSH since that one's nearly useless anyway.

Back while I was still saving up to buy a house, my two retainers kept bringing me home furnishings everyday. From paintings, lights, roofs, wall/floor tiles to workbenches....

After I successfully bought the plot I wanted, they stopped doing it altogether.

I guess mine just really hate me because they love bringing me fish all the time. .-.
Occasionally my BRD retainer brings me house walls, though.

For some reason my retainer likes to bring back lots and lots of PvP-gear (funny enough: there is actually a random-retainer NPC that can show up at the Wolves Den. In german he says that its "almost to easy" to get gear/something to bring back this way). The weird part about it though: She always brings back ast-gear. 90% of PvP-gear that she brought back was for astrologian.

I dont play that job.

http://en.ff14housing.com/images/pic...59d43_img2.jpg

my retainer actually brought me one of these
you don't just find a faust dummy

My lady retainer once brought me back a pair of female undies....and I play a guy character. The FC and I had a ball with that one saying things like there is a poor cat girl out there somewhere probably in dusk vigil freezing, or that I'm really dense and can't take a hint that my retainer was apologizing for not bringing back anything worth while and saying "I'm sorry master, please accept my undies instead", lots of jokes were thrown around that night. :P

One of mine used to bring back HQ roof tiles and nails all the time. I wonder who's house they took apart to get them. If it wasn't that, it was always fish. Always.

I make about 10 million a week off of quick ventures from retainers. Granted I have 9 retainers, but it's always worthwhile, no matter how many fish they sometimes bring, they will always eventually bring back housing items, dyes etc..... persevere.

On Quick Ventures:
My Dark Knight Retainer brings back Fish

My Fishing Retainer brings back level 50-60 dungeon weapons and armor

Something is wrong here...

I love it when mine bring back couches. Much to the dismay of FC mates and friends, I have to make the curb jokes. It is essential.

Yesterday my retainer decided to go the extra mile and grill the fish before giving it to me.

Nice to know they're thinking of me.

I think my retainers just picked up a ton of fish for cheap somewhere and threw them in the pond by my house. When they don't feel like robbing someone else going for a walk, they just fish something up and hand it to me. Then they'll bring me random dungeon gear for a day or two while the fish repopulate.

one of mine keep's bringing me retaner fant's XD and other that are lv 70 bring me FISH out of all things
a fliping fish O_O

Back when ventures were still regular items, a retainer once brought me back... a venture.

My miner somehow has managed to bring me not one, but two HQ hammerhead sharks and my fisher has brought me a tree. I really want to know where they're mining/fishing...

Blokeh: Hey Sarisa, my favourite Ul'Dah-based retainer, how's the Botany life working out?

Sarisa: Oh hey boss. Yeah, all good, thanks. Looking tip-top yourself, sir.

Blokeh: Aw stobbit, you'll have me blushing... so anyways, that quick venture you just been on. Get anything good? Some birch logs? A few sprigs of Rosemary? Maybe some sweet, sweet Cotton Bolls?

Sarisa: Kinda... I killed Titan and forged his heart into this giant claymore. Here, try it out.

Blokeh: o. 0

This is my new favorite thread <3

I once had a retainer bring back a roof, a housing exterior, and a banner. How the hell she managed to carry that back in her pack is still a mystery to me.