Defusing a SItuation on FFXIV ( dungeons)

How do you defuse a situation in dungeons even if you open your communication to the group? I recently got back on and they kick me out of anything even if I said something like "hey I am new at this one ". Or leave a nasty comment in the end and leave. I think it makes the game almost unplayable. I can't even leave without being disrespected because if I try to expand a convo to something civil is spirals. People don't talk they rather purposely hurt you for their validation.
Can someone tell me is their way to leave a party? without a penalty?

Also if anyone reads this. Someone doesn't know the game or doesn't know anymore.
There is there aways to guide them and if they are insecure constructively argue back. It is really just a game guys.. seriously

I dont understand very well your problem, but if I understand correctly, you can report people for kick you for no reason and also for insulting you.

If the party is incomplete, there are no penalty for leaving a party.

When is someone is new in a duty, I can completely understand some kind of mistakes could happen and tolerate it, no problem. It is desnecessary harass people, I think the only thing that really trigger in newbies are when they dont listen me: "hey, I will grab a coffee rq, brb" and the tankers pulled anyway, I feel disrespected and not necessary (I'm a DPS). Of course I will not insulte people, but I will happily press "leave" depending on the instance.

Call my attention you mention dungeons, there is no point to this kind of behavior in this kind of duty (being salt and leave). I defend your playstyle for fun, I just think you were very unlucky with the kind of people you find in these dungeons.

I appreciate your reply
Im in Hyperion and every time I am in contact with other servers their is a major difference in attitude
I guess what I wanted to know is that if i leave the party making it incomplete. being the first one to leave .. now there is a penalty?
because i have gone as far at to ask to be booted out..

Actualy I did report someone for kicking me for pulling aggro "once" in a low lvl area and this while the healer had it easy to keep the party healed (mp never dropped under 95%).
I reported this and got the message that they felt sorry for how I was treated but they could do nothing about it...
Not sure if they realy care so why even use the report button? I think they only care when there are treats involved or heavy insults.

DF fills dungeons from all of the database so it’s unlikely that it was people from your server unless you saw they were from there. Like a previous poster said you probably were just unlucky with who you got paired with. I will say this it seems that the attitude of the community overall has been getting worse in dungeons. I’ve seen more needless verbal battles than there needs to be especially in lower dungeons lately

Yeah well... the expansions have been getting cheaper... might persuade any rude minor to try it.... but don't worry.. most of them will find it too complicated and will prolly quit within a few weeks or months.

If you're looking for some friends on Hyperion I can help you there.
But overall I don't understand the problem exactly. Simply being new doesn't usually have people abandon or remove the newbie. I've very rarely seen such a thing.
I might be missing some information here.

i mean rude people are going to be rude people, not much can be done about them. If you're in a group that you don't like or doesn't like you, not much can be done other than asking to be kicked or just leaving the duty and eating the 30 min penalty. If the group is incomplete (less than 4 people) then you can leave without penalty but if you are the first to leave you can't do anything about it. you can report someone for harassment but it would most likely be chalked up to "playstyle" differences.

in the end it's just a game. try to have fun. hopefully you get matched with people with the same mindset. I don't expect too much talk in dungeons.

All you can do is ask to be kicked if you're trying to get out of an instance early without getting the penalty.

However, I honestly rarely see such behavior even though I start a variety of instances with "Hello" or "I'm new to tanking" (which god I suck at tanking lol) or "I haven't done this one in a while"

So part of me is curious if there's something else you may be doing to invite this kind of behavior. Not saying you necessarily did, maybe you really are that unlucky, just saying it's certainly suspicious.

I tried that once squintina but the party knew eachother and they refused...
So I refused to move until they eventualy did what I asked... After 20 minutes wasted...!

I see you're not the only one with these kinds of problems, when I started playing I frequently got these late at the end of duty for being bad at the game or so they like to say. I was also kicked on the last boss of the dungeon for no reason, I felt hopeless after that I contacted the gm for the first time and he told me it was something called griefing which happend to me but on whole it was like 20% of the dungeons I did were toxic at earlier stages. Id like to believe that it was because I was playing and am playing a Tank role job.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SXTC

I tried that once squintina but the party knew eachother and they refused...
So I refused to move until they eventualy did what I asked... After 20 minutes wasted...!

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In such a scenario you should be the one to leave.

Canadane I'd get a 30 minute penalty, not gona punish myself cuss a party is being an ass.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SXTC

Canadane I'd get a 30 minute penalty, not gona punish myself cuss a party is being an ass.

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Well, if you had to wait 20 minutes for them to kick you, you might as well have just left, because that’s the majority of the leave penalty anyways.



Personally speaking, I have never seen this behavior be pervasive like the opening post is suggesting on Aether, and I’ve been leveling up low level alts a lot lately. Most dungeon runs are just like the usual dungeon run: the “hello”, “hi”, or “o/“ at the beginning, and the “tyfp” at the end with little to no hiccups. I’ve had the occasional group in the past when I was leveling alts, but nothing too serious. And I’ve only ever been kicked once from a dungeon, and I was about to leave anyways because the tank and one of the DPS were together and trolling the entire time, and I told one to eff off after he told me to shut the eff up when I was trying to explain a mechanic (there was a bonus message at the start).

I mean, maybe things are worse, but if it’s a constant issue, I feel inclined to say that perhaps the problem isn’t the other people, but something the person complaining is doing. And I’m not trying to sound mean, but a lot of people come here and cry “vote kick abuse” and it turns out they did something worthy enough of a kick. :/