Weird question.. blacklisting, etc

So, I know this is a weird question but I can't find an answer for it when I Google.

My boyfriend and I broke up last night. It sucked. It wasn't mutual. I was blindsided and I'm not doing so great at the moment. I'll survive.

Anyway!! He's the one who got me into this game a month or so ago. I've unfriended him from my list but we also play on the same server. I know I can change servers, but I have made at least one friend on it (Kacho!!!! :D :D :D) so I don't know if I want to do that.

My question: Is there any way to make his character completely invisible to me? Even if he were standing right next to me, would it be possible to make him invisible?

As far as I'm aware, no. Blacklisting will make it so you can never see his text in-game, but you will still see him, possibly be queued into the same instances with him, etc.

Blacklisting him will also grey out any PFs he makes that you see in the Party Finder, but I believe that's as far as it goes.

Nope. Blisting in this game isn't really good at all lol. If you was married through eternal bond, and you threw away your ring, he can still use his to teleport to you. He can still send you mail but you cannot send him anything as you've deleted him of your friends list (stupid huh?), you'l still end up in the same duties if you so hapen to queue for the same thing at the same time, only thing is, you cant see what he's saying but he can see what you're saying. As Ilea has stated, all it does is grey out the parties he posts on pf. thats it.

All i can say is just ignore him if he causes any trouble.

Awww it's so sad :'( * Hug Kakiko and confort her *

Can confirm. This is something players have been complaining about for years. Blacklist only prevents said players from having a dialogue with you and that's it.

You can even still land in instances with players on your B-list. I've had this happen after B-listing troll in Palace of the Dead, only to be queued in with him on the next set of floors! So, if you feel the need to jump servers to get distance, you'd have to jump whole datacenters.

It's a bit crazy how badly implemented it is.

I'm not sure there's anything else I could contribute to answer your main question that the others haven't already said (my newbie status notwithstanding anyway), but I just wanted to say how sorry I am that happened to you OP. Break-ups suck, and there's no getting around that. But I hope things look up for you soon! On the bright side, I think it's wonderful you made a friend on your server. I'm sure they can help you through this as well.

Thanks everyone. It does suck, and it was unexpected. I appreciate the kind words :)

I'm not sure how much he's even playing the game, to be honest. He seemed mostly to play it when he was at my place and when he's at his place he was playing other things so maybe I won't see him. I don't really mind if I bump into him in a duty because half the time I don't read names anyway. I just didn't really want to be wandering around in Ul'dah or whatever and see him. I don't think he'd cause any trouble since he's the one who wanted to break up.

But yes, this seems poorly implemented. You should be able to de-render someone or make them invisible somehow along with being unable to see them or be matched with them in a duty. It's a shame.

Yeah that is correct sorry that it happened and to a cutie lala to...

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Originally Posted by Scars_Humora

Yeah that is correct sorry that it happened and to a cutie lala to...

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Ever need a cute kitty I'm there XD meow =^.^=

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Originally Posted by Scars_Humora

Ever need a cute kitty I'm there XD meow =^.^=

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really, bro? too early for that.....

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Originally Posted by Venoshock

you'l still end up in the same duties if you so hapen to queue for the same thing at the same time, only thing is, you cant see what he's saying but he can see what you're saying

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I've been told by a GM that blacklisting someone prevents you from being matched with them in Duty Finder. I haven't ever been matched with someone on my blacklist before, so I can neither confirm nor deny the validity of that claim. GMs aren't infallible so some times they do give out the wrong information, but I'd be more inclined to lean toward the GM's answer on that matter. I haven't blacklisted many people, but I did have to blacklist a stalker, who still finds me through player search and goes EVERYWHERE I do (GM apparently still hasn't done anything after 3 sexual harassment reports, and same GM responded each time....), and have never been matched with him. Could be luck, could be blacklist. Who knows.

Either way, chances of running in to him through Duty Finder are still slim to none.

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Originally Posted by Venoshock

really, bro? too early for that.....

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Ugh... !

Anyway, Since blacklisting is close to useless in this game, heres a list of everything missing from it:

Blacklisting doesn't stop you seeing the character in game, Unacceptable.
Blacklisting doesn't stop them from using an Eternal Bond teleport directly to you, Unacceptable.
Blacklisting doesn't prevent in-game mail from anyone previously added as a friend, Unacceptable.
Blacklisting doesn't stop you from getting matched in duties, Unacceptable. (I've been matched with two blacklisted players in the same light-party...)
Blacklisting doesn't for some reason, stop the player blacklisted, from seeing what you say... this is really, really bad, Unacceptable! (/say /fc /ls /party etc)

Please update the Blacklist with these needed suggestions!

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Originally Posted by Final-Fantasy

Please update the Blacklist with these needed suggestions!

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All excellent suggestions and I'm really wondering why these aren't already implemented. Is it a difficulty with the system itself or is it just a general attitude of "not that important"? For me personally I'm doubtful it will be a huge issue with my specific situation but for others being harassed, it seems unacceptable that you can't make it so that someone cannot contact or interact with you at all, and that you can't see that person at all. Much of my online time the past 6 years or so was spent in Second Life (I know, I know), and there you could "mute" someone (stop them from talking to you at all, either in open chat or private chat) and you could de-render and blacklist their avatar so that they were 100% invisible to you no matter what they did.

Blacklisting isn't a method of not "seeing" someone on your server, it just a means to mark someone you have no desire to play with. I just consider it something you do so they can't join party finders you create and you get the warning or grey-out when you join one on your blacklist.

Really the only way truly out from a social standpoint is change servers, or data centers.

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Originally Posted by Scars_Humora

Ever need a cute kitty I'm there XD meow =^.^=

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I appreciate the offer, but all I need right now is a giant tub of chocolate fudge ice cream and Screwdrivers so strong you can smell the vodka a block away. :)

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Originally Posted by DJaySaint

I've been told by a GM that blacklisting someone prevents you from being matched with them in Duty Finder.

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I can confirm that blacklisting does not prevent you from getting matched with them in DF. I've had people on my blacklist end up in DF with me more than once before. I just ignore it and do the DF usually since I cannot see anything they say anyway I just /shrug

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Originally Posted by Miste

I can confirm that blacklisting does not prevent you from getting matched with them in DF. I've had it happen more than once with people I have on my blacklist.

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Ah, well good to know. Like I said GMs are not infallible and can pass on wrong information. To be honest it doesn't surprise me though, especially their reluctance to act on repeated sexual harassment and stalking complaints with a mountain of evidence and many witnesses to corroborate. Why would the blacklist be any different I guess?

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Originally Posted by DJaySaint

Ah, well good to know. Like I said GMs are not infallible and can pass on wrong information. To be honest it doesn't surprise me though, especially their reluctance to act on repeated sexual harassment and stalking complaints with a mountain of evidence and many witnesses to corroborate. Why would the blacklist be any different I guess?

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I am also sorry you having to deal with that kind of harassment. I've also had something like that happen in the past in a previous online game and it isn't something anyone should have to deal with.

And also I am sorry for OP to be going through a breakup and such I hope you feel better.

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Originally Posted by RosaLunaCelestia

Awww it's so sad :'( * Hug Kakiko and confort her *

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Thank you, Rosa <3 Much, much, appreciated.

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Originally Posted by Miste

And also I am sorry for OP to be going through a breakup and such I hope you feel better.

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Thank you. It's life and it sucks but I'll survive. Nothing I did caused this; it was entirely on his end. It just sucks that he gets to carry on with his life and I'm the one who's hurt by his words. But, like I said, it's life and I'll manage. :) I've a good support network online between Facebook and Skype and here!

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Originally Posted by Kakiko

I appreciate the offer, but all I need right now is a giant tub of chocolate fudge ice cream and Screwdrivers so strong you can smell the vodka a block away. :)

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I recommend getting a bottle of good dark rum or good whiskey, popping them in the freezer until they are nice and thick and then pouring a generous portion over your fudge ice-cream.

Mmm ... boozy ice-cream.

Raspberry sorbet and chilled port are also great together.

While I can imagine there are very likely some technical limitations at play when it comes to some of the suggestions given here, I still have to agree that more should be done in regards to these problems. Perhaps SE needs to review some of the complaints and suggestions and acknowledge the player base as to what can/will be done within their means. And I totally agree more action should be taken against those who sexually harass other players. It's bad enough anyone has to deal with that irl, but to also get it when they're enjoying a game and trying to have fun? That's just as unacceptable.

Damn still shows me as an au ra on a side note I was joking kids best advice don't let an ex ruin a game you like seeing them or not had the same thing more or less happen though sometimes a good old fashioned drink athon works. XD

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Originally Posted by Kakiko

I appreciate the offer, but all I need right now is a giant tub of chocolate fudge ice cream and Screwdrivers so strong you can smell the vodka a block away. :)

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Also thanks for being a good sport about my joke sometimes a bad joke can help lighten a bad situation a bit. ^.^ best of luck to ya *pet pet* just remember lala beats everything even meanies like that.

I suggest leaving your DC if this worries you that much...

What I learned with FFXIV:

As much as we wish more can be implemented into the game, I'll tell you the same thing I told another forum awhile back. The reason a lot of suggestions are held off, isn't because of the PS3's original limitations. Otherwise, there'd be no point in getting rid of it for storm blood if we still cannot have much better things. The answer to all the issues? Answer: 1.0 coding.

Many people don't realize just how much of FFXIV 1.0's coding is STILL in this game. And as we all know, 1.0 gawd awful. It was the worst MMORPG for its time. It made FFXI look like a teddy bear in comparison. I understand that some may think this to be saying too much, but it's not. Coding can play many factors into their projects. The problem comes down to how much 1.0 coding is still in the game that needs to be removed. Yoshi-P once stated in a live letter at FanFest interview (off stage), building one project and making sure it works, while also checking all other parts of the game to ensure that no other part breaks, makes the job stressful for the issue.

Say we make 5 brand new entirely new pieces to add to the theme park and suddenly other parts of the game start breaking down:

-An old ride that's been forever suddenly stops working (limsa can't port in or port out and changing zones is negated)

-A ride that's fairly new has minor issues (mobs stop at 1% and won't die)

-Black Hole of Susano.

-Rauhban Extreme.

-Pippin Extreme.

-Lakshmi's Nightmares.

Those 5 new pieces that were officially added, just happened to be part of the coding now offset some of the older mechanics or zones for 1.0, and caused that shipwreck for some of the newer content just added. Now, the developers have to put in even more emergency maintenance to fix a game that was supposed to be available to play that tuesday night. This has happened many times before. So I can understand why a lot of the designs we love or really want, haven't been implemented yet. Until all of 1.0 is vanished from this game, the game is stuck in a standstill and all suggestions for the time being are somewhat null and void. This is the same reason the games base will not change or has not changed since ARR's original release over 3+ years the game has been actively running.

1/2 - new dungeons.
1 - new 24man raid with lockout piece.
1 - set of tomes and lockout for 450/500 times a week.
1 - set of savage or harder content with lock out a week.
1/2 - new primals to kill with no lock out but called "extreme" even though it's basically just a reskin of the original fight without indicators and hits harder.

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Originally Posted by Venoshock

Nope. Blisting in this game isn't really good at all lol. If you was married through eternal bond, and you threw away your ring, he can still use his to teleport to you. He can still send you mail but you cannot send him anything as you've deleted him of your friends list (stupid huh?), you'l still end up in the same duties if you so hapen to queue for the same thing at the same time, only thing is, you cant see what he's saying but he can see what you're saying. As Ilea has stated, all it does is grey out the parties he posts on pf. thats it.

All i can say is just ignore him if he causes any trouble.

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no you can't, blackisting blocks the ring

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Originally Posted by Final-Fantasy

Ugh... !

Anyway, Since blacklisting is close to useless in this game, heres a list of everything missing from it:

Blacklisting doesn't stop you seeing the character in game, Unacceptable.
Blacklisting doesn't stop them from using an Eternal Bond teleport directly to you, Unacceptable.
Blacklisting doesn't prevent in-game mail from anyone previously added as a friend, Unacceptable.
Blacklisting doesn't stop you from getting matched in duties, Unacceptable. (I've been matched with two blacklisted players in the same light-party...)
Blacklisting doesn't for some reason, stop the player blacklisted, from seeing what you say... this is really, really bad, Unacceptable! (/say /fc /ls /party etc)

Please update the Blacklist with these needed suggestions!

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wrong, it does

I know first hand experience blacklisting blocks a ring from an experience last year, around 3.4.. yeah just after 3.4 We where even face to face at one point in uldah, and when she took me off it worked.

I recall the black hole of Susano (if you were in a persistent emote when accepting the queue, the game would lock your avatar into the transistion after the fight. You could'nt log in or anything. Weirdest game breaks I've ever seen!) but what was Lakshmi's nightmare?



I guess if Blacklisting can't outright remove the player from our experience, then they should call it for what it is: "Mute this player."

Sorry to hear about your loss. The thing to keep in mind is although it hurts now it would hurt even more later so it is better that he didn't lead you on. While it might not look like it now there is someone better down the road. I know it certainly took my spouse and I more than a few folks before we were able to meet and connect. As proof we've just celebrated our 35th year of marriage. So my suggestion is to take some time and do something for yourself and try to have some fun.

As far as blacklisting I look at it as part of playing privacy which FF XIV doesn't seem to do to well. Blacklisting should stop all two way communications be it via chat or the mail. It should also filter DF so you cannot end up in an instance with a blacklisted player. Since dungeon groups are finite it isn't like they have to worry about millions of permutations. Add to the blacklist needs that of needing more granularity than busy to allow playing with minimal disturbances.

That really sucks OP, I'm sorry you had to go through that.