It's Not A True MMO Until You Have A Fight

RESOLVED, GO HOME

TY for all the responses, everyone!

RESOLVED, GO HOME

RESOLVED, GO HOME.

Ty for the responses, everyone!

i see a few mistakes on your part

1) you should buy a cheap usb keyboard. $10-$30 I reccommend the logitek K120, can take a beating. MMo are about communication, being slow isn't good.

2) you should never afk during a boss fight, it is rude to the other players and the glowing pads if your talking on the final boss change. first set is 1 all pads. set 2 is 2 players 4 pads. Last set is 3 players 2 pads.

3) your reply was rude as well saying "family stuff i don't give a f" is insulting. Mostly because it was your fault.

Yeah some people can be dicks and get over reacted so easily. I mean how is you not dpsing the mobs got to do with the BLM not LBing?

Some people's minds are just ?_?

Usb keyboard for PS4. Can't recommend it highly enough.

Are we supposed to be sympathetic to this story...?

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Originally Posted by Azazua_azura

2) you should never afk during a boss fight, it is rude to the other players and the glowing pads if your talking on the final boss change. first set is 1 all pads. set 2 is 2 players 4 pads. Last set is 3 players 2 pads.

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I just want to add that I don't agree with this point at all. Family, girlfriends, wife, anything irl is more important than what is going on in a game. He was trying to be helpful to his gf.

I do agree on point 1 & 3 however. OP came over a bit rude.

Don't AFK mid fight if you can't handle being called out?
Being on PS4 is not an excuse to type slow. It's an MMO, get a keyboard.

aaa bleh.

Skip this

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Originally Posted by Azazua_azura

i see a few mistakes on your part

1) you should buy a cheap usb keyboard. $10-$30 I reccommend the logitek K120, can take a beating. MMo are about communication, being slow isn't good.

2) you should never afk during a boss fight, it is rude to the other players and the glowing pads if your talking on the final boss change. first set is 1 all pads. set 2 is 2 players 4 pads. Last set is 3 players 2 pads.

3) your reply was rude as well saying "family stuff i don't give a f" is insulting. Mostly because it was your fault.

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While I think #1 is a great piece of advice, and #3 is ... going to be based on people's response - but this person already aknowledges that they made a mistake there, I must point out that I disagree with you at #2.

The player had to go AFK at #2 to help their family member. We don't know their situation, but in my book - Real life takes precedence over the In-game. Worst case, we wipe because the healer had to AFK. We come back and do it again after. Now if they had to go AFK for half an hour and said nothing - well, the auto-boot would handle them.

They wanted to say sorry for needing to go AFK in the party chat but werent' able to due to the lack of keyboard, which would help. But pretending that you never can go AFK in the game to help in real life is... Well, I dislike it.

In my book, helping her sister who has a job to maintain and making sure they're on time is much more important than a video game.

So, instead of a simple sorry, you wrote you don't give a f**k? Awesome. Really. Good work. More bad reputation for the community. Nicely done.

yeahh, honestly, there are better ways to have come back from that comment.

Even if the tank was being snarky, you could have just been like "I'm so sorry! family needed immediate help for a moment :( " Causing a wipe and then telling them you don't give a rat's ass is never a good way to go about it. Things happen in real life, I totally get that. Perhaps try being more apologetic (since this WAS your fault) vs. confrontational next time. A lot of people will go back to normal moods in a flash with a quick apology.

Re #2, it's rude to think that because it's 'just a game', things going on around you IRL are more important. You are literally stating that your time is more important than the time of three other real-life actual people combined, and time is existence, so you're basically saying you're better than them. No-one likes that.

Conversely, no-one will be offended if, before you afk, even if it is mid-fight, you state in chat - 'irl emergency brb sorry'. It can literally happen to everyone, we all understand that and it *should* be instantly forgiven. Use a pad? Write a party text macro and stick it on a back hotbar. In the case above, the other player thinks they've caught you in a lie; you could have mitigated that.

Anyway, case in point, the other player was out of order as the wipe wasn't your bad. Hopefully just one poor experience amongst many good ones.

While I do agree with the point that everything irl is more important, I find it a bit better that you excuse yourself before going afk. Just because they're more important doesn't mean that the people who are spending their time in the dungeon with you are not (to an extent). So a quick apologise beforehand can at least warn them about why your char suddenly decides to philosophize about life mid fight xD!
The keyboard will surely help a lot :)!

You get afk, he blames you for doing nothing, and you think that is ok to be rude because he blame you.


What kind of logic are you using?

If you have to afk during a fight, I can undertand it. But the least you coud do is being comprensive if they blame you, because it was your fault.

Tbh, a lot of the confrontation is on your shoulders.

First off, someone unexpectedly afking or just standing there during a dungeon, especially a boss fight, is incredibly frustrating. If someone did that to you, you would most likely get annoyed and say something about it.
It's fine if something suddenly comes up and you need to afk for a bit, but please take the few seconds to say something like "crap, gotta afk" or "emergency, need to afk", just something so people know you are going afk and that its an emergency. Most people will understand.

Now, after you return you respond with a " yeah whatever, I don't care" type of response. As has already been pointed out, in this situation that was pretty rude. Yes one of the other players said some stuff about you not doing anything, but that is honestly exactly what you were doing because you were afk. They responded with what they observed. You just got immediately defensive and snapped back at them, where you could have and should have just quickly apologized and explained the situation. You expressed that is what you intended to do, so then why didn't you do that instead of feeling compelled to say "idgaf"? Chances are if you had just apologized and explained the situation, everything would have been fine and there would have been no confrontation.

Lastly, as has already been mentioned, get a simple plug n' play USB keyboard to use with your ps4. It will make communication much easier and quicker.

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Originally Posted by Rhuazie

I really try to be a nice person

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That's all you can really do. Be nice to the people you meet, be respectful of other people's time and opinions, and hope they do the same for you. Communicating through text, especially when personal feelings are involved, can be difficult. There's a lot of subtext that is lost through online communication, so we tend to fill in the missing pieces, like a conversation's tone, or someone's attitude, even though we can often be completely wrong in our interpretation.

It's unfortunate you had a bad experience, but I'm sure it goes to show that communication is important. When you need to step away from your machine, people like to know so they don't think you're trying to ninja AFK, and it's nice to have a head's up. It just goes back to being respectful of other people's time. You'd be upset if someone was wasting your time, so don't give others the chance to think the same of you. Be as up front with your communication as you can, get a keyboard if you can, or make a few quickfire announcement macros in the event that you need to excuse yourself.

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Originally Posted by Rhuazie

That caused 2 adds to spawn.
I rolled my eyes and stuck on the boss. the tank asked blm to lb but they didnt.

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why did you stick on the boss? if you noticed the LB wasn't going out, go kill the adds.

Real life happens and I wouldn't hesitate to lend a hand to someone I care about about and I wouldn't put a game before that, but it's mostly in your response that would piss off some players. Yeah, we all get that RL stuff happens, but it's still nice to apologize to the group, you know? Had you said something like "sorry, had to help my sister" and the group would have still given you flack, then yeah, don't worry about it, they're assholes. But replying with something like "idgaf" and then being defensive for something that was your fault, that's when you stuck your foot in your mouth, IMO.

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Originally Posted by Eidolon

In my book, helping her sister who has a job to maintain and making sure they're on time is much more important than a video game.

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that's his sister's responsibility, not his. and not something he should impose on other people. just because they are on the internet doesn't mean they are not people.

there are certainly real life things that are actually important but not everything is.

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Originally Posted by Rhuazie

I got pissed because he made me seem dumb and like I wanted to be carried.
so I said. "family stuff happened and I honestly dgaf"
to be replied "cool story"
like I was lying and pulling a story from out my arse.
we went back and forth and the healer said to me "what is YOUR problem?

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Yeah pretty sure whats in bold, prompted his follow up response, but still, he instigated it.

However what I see here is both of you were annoyed with each others comments and prompted said follows ups. He put blame on you, and you tagged the bold part onto your response because you were annoyed.

How about instead of getting mad at someone who's mad at you, be understanding of their frustration and apologize instead...? Put yourself in their shoes.

I've done many dungeons and had people AFK mid-boss fight before. Some people get upset at first but every time that person came back he or she apologized. Either people said "ok" or didn't say anything at all. No one ever reacted badly because the person who AFKed didn't give them a reason to react badly. They acted maturely and were met with maturity.

how hard is to type AFK on PS3/4? , then u can type back sorry , i had to afk lots of times , and always say something as a warning , even as healer lol , that AFK from a healer midfight means , oh !$!$!!!! , tank will pop CDs to keep fighting , sometimes they barely survive sometimes its a wipe....but hey , RL stuff happens....never has been kicked , ppl usually understand others rage a bit..... :rolleyes:

You afk'd during a boss fight, wasted the rest of the party's time by causing a wipe, then came back and told them you don't care. That's where communication went sour.

Tbh, while I agree that you needed to help your sister, you were totally in the wrong on all other counts, and the tank was right to call you out. As the healer said, "What is your problem?"

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Originally Posted by Azazua_azura

2) you should never afk during a boss fight, it is rude to the other players

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while true on a general scale (no, your cat doesn't need its food right now, finish the 2 mins long boss before going), irl shit does happen and people have the right to stop playing to sort things out. I prefer that a player goes suddenly afk because there is a problem on their side rather than they ignore the said problem and have issues irl. Because in the end, I'll have wasted time on a game, while they took care of important stuff that could go horribly wrong.

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Originally Posted by Azazua_azura

i see a few mistakes on your part

1) you should buy a cheap usb keyboard. $10-$30 I reccommend the logitek K120, can take a beating. MMo are about communication, being slow isn't good.

2) you should never afk during a boss fight, it is rude to the other players and the glowing pads if your talking on the final boss change. first set is 1 all pads. set 2 is 2 players 4 pads. Last set is 3 players 2 pads.

3) your reply was rude as well saying "family stuff i don't give a f" is insulting. Mostly because it was your fault.

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I'm on ps4 and I never type in DF, not hello or Hi or nothing and I do just fine. In my experience anything you say can and most likely will get a douche response like "cool story bro" or the ever popular "get good" but spelled as if a 2 year old is typing it

I just want to thank you guys for your feedback and say sorry at the same time. I get arrogant and defensive rather quickly and it's something I'm trying to work on. I made this thread to know other people's opinions, not for sympathy. FFXIV has probably the most well balanced community and I want to be a part of it more... meaning I should probably fix my language and get a keyboard. ^^"

Well this thread went about as well as expected.

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Originally Posted by Azper

Well this thread went about as well as expected.

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Honestly, it went way better than I expected because of the following.

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Originally Posted by Rhuazie

I just want to thank you guys for your feedback and say sorry at the same time. I get arrogant and defensive rather quickly and it's something I'm trying to work on. I made this thread to know other people's opinions, not for sympathy. FFXIV has probably the most well balanced community and I want to be a part of it more... meaning I should probably fix my language and get a keyboard. ^^"

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To the OP, I'm glad you can see and admit to where things went wrong on your end and that you are seeking to improve upon it. I find it helpful to try to see things from the opposing side of a conflict. Would my response or what I'm doing make me upset if someone did the same to me? If so, then I rethink my approach.

Getting a keyboard and being able to communicate more easily will, or at least should, greatly increase your enjoyment of the game. The game is team and social interaction based at its very core and being able to communicate and interact effectively both in content or just chatting with friends or random people brings a lot more enjoyment to the game, well at least most of the time.

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Originally Posted by Nomad-phx

I'm on ps4 and I never type in DF, not hello or Hi or nothing and I do just fine. In my experience anything you say can and most likely will get a douche response like "cool story bro" or the ever popular "get good" but spelled as if a 2 year old is typing it

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You never even say {Hello!} which maybe takes three button presses on a controller? That's a bit rude.

Even at my laziest (aka too far away from my laptop to type) I'll give a quick auto translate hello........

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Originally Posted by Rhuazie

I just want to thank you guys for your feedback and say sorry at the same time. I get arrogant and defensive rather quickly and it's something I'm trying to work on. I made this thread to know other people's opinions, not for sympathy. FFXIV has probably the most well balanced community and I want to be a part of it more... meaning I should probably fix my language and get a keyboard. ^^"

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I'm sure most of us have behaved poorly at one time or another in game. Sometimes emotions do get the better of us, and we shoot back when attacked. But yeah, get that keyboard! Will make life so much easier :)

I also want to point out that regardless of having a keyboard or not, a simple "sry" into /p chat works a lot better than a "but I was gonna apologize" in a forum post after the fact. You had plenty of opportunity to give them that. Just something to think about in the future.

Thanks for apologizing and owning up to it here in this thread though. That's something you hardly ever see around here.

Fact is, YOU went afk during a boss fight, and YOU stayed on the boss instead of killing the adds. So it kind of was your fault.

I understand having to get up real fast when something in real life presses you; I do it myself. Real life always come before the game. However...

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Originally Posted by Rhuazie

"family stuff happened and I honestly dgaf"

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That part of your response wasn't cool. Any time I have something come up, I just keep it simple: "Sorry, give me one second". Most people understand that. Saying you don't care is really just giving the middle finger to someone that might have actually excused you had you just apologized. I understand feeling belittled because the tank called you out, but someone has to be the bigger person, eventually.

are there any sane people think this game is a true MMO? lol

I fully agree that real life comes first, but I consider something of those in SERIOUS emergency and wearrent an afk UNLESS its a VERY SERIOUS emergecy then honestly just dc by turning off the system.

These include: parents with babies or small children, parents with troubled teens, or special needs. Spouses with a ill/disabled partners partners. or similar. These warrent sudden afk, but should say so, or make it known.

sudden dc afk should be if ur house is on fire, or pet/family member is distressed and needs medical attention

i may get some heat from this, but finding car keys doesn't warrent a no mention afk. It should be the person responsibility to take care of their own affairs with such things with work and such. It is nice you offered help, but it didn't need to mid battle. And coulda offered help when finished.

Treating the other party members as npc is pretty much whats wrong with df as it is

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Originally Posted by Rhuazie

@azura Yeah I was a dick when I said that. but I was going to apologize. I'm not going to cover myself and blame others. I clearly afk during the boss, for RL reasons, but I still left. i was willing to confess. but the fact that I was 1) called a liar and 2) interrupted was clearly unnecessary are rude. So I returned the favor.

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They didn't seem to call you a liar.
What you took from a passive non-response was more than intended.

Not to be "that person" or anything, but it's attitudes like yours in that example of what happened, that gives all of us that are on ps3/4 a bad reputation. Get a keyboard, they're extremely cheap. There's really no excuse to not have one. Your "idgaf" attitude was returned in kind from the rest of the group, you couldn't give a f about afking and subsequently wiping, they couldn't give a f about your excuse as to why, really.