How to deal with...

Hey, was wondering what's the best way to deal with people that are rude for giving advice or asking not to do some stuff.

Example, I'm learning DRK, and did a Haukke Manor, (it(s an easy dgn I know) but I asked to let me pull, so I can learn it.

This resulted in rude talk towards me. I stopped the tanking, and dpsed the rest of the dgn, since they continued pulling. (This was maybe not the best solution)

Then, the next run, I gave advice to a new player (had the green leave), then I get tolled to go on and stop wasting time, and again rude talk during the dgn.

I just wanted to learn, and be nice by giving advice.

If I'm in wrong, let me know thanks,

Just ignore rude people. They simply don't deserve better.

You're not in the wrong. Every online community will have rude people. You just need to ignore them and play the game your own way.

If it gets too much try take a break from dungeons and try something else. And if they go over the top don't be afraid to report them.

Personally never had this happening to me. I have a personal rule that if people keep pulling I let them tank.
Nothing wrong with wanting to learn and give advice to new players. Although there are "new players" that's just an Alt character, maybe the case on your second story.
If people are in such a hurry they should make a premade group to begin with and not go DF and expect that everyone is a hardcore engame player.

Don't give people advice, they don't want advice in this game. Everyone pays $15 to be voiceless bards and ice/thunder mages. I've given up on this community.

As a healer I don't heal dps that pulls, because then I get aggro and I hate doing anything extra because /lazy. Or the dumb dps gets aggro and then runs around so the tank can't get aggro.

Either do what you did, stop tanking or exit the game, wait 3 minutes and you dodge the penalty.

If someone is rude to you, get really close to them and give them a hug. Make it really awkward.

I find I have more fun when I run instance content only when I have to.

I don't like the "responsibility" of being in a group, having to "meet society's demands", and getting chided when I fail to do so for whatever reason.

Those people you meet in a dungeon you will likely never see again hence courtesy and basic human decency tends to go out the window.

Thanks.

I suppose I could do pre-made too.

But I like to go in DF and be able to help players or to learn something from other players.

You did the right thing, I think. Much like Evergrey said, if your party wants to be idiots and pull things, let THEM tank it if they want to so badly. This community has some ADHD issues and some common sense issues and DF has a way of making sure they coincide as often as possible. As long as you're being polite, keep trying to help people since the good players usually appreciate it. If you get more rude players, just tell them to get bent and do your own thing. They're not worth dealing with.

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Originally Posted by kuma_aus

You're not in the wrong. Every online community will have rude people. You just need to ignore them and play the game your own way.

If it gets too much try take a break from dungeons and try something else. And if they go over the top don't be afraid to report them.

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Every community does, not just online. Just less repercusions when anonymous. AKA cant slap em silly XD

If a dps pull = let them die/tank the mob and if they die .. well to bad for them.

Giving advice to a new player ( or just to one who have not done that dungeon before etc ) is never bad, those people who just wanna rush a dungeon asap should just make premade and not use the duty finder.

People show their true colours when they can hide behind the anonymity of a game like this. Just ignore all the trolls/bullies in duty finder and don't let it get to you. At the end of the day those people don't mean shit to anyone.

Did you ask the leaf guy if he was actually new? Your first scenario, they were jerks of course, but the leaf guy could have been someone's second character (people do make them). While he should have turned the leaf off in that case, some people still don't like it when others just assume they're ignorant. For that situation, I'd just recommend making sure he/she is truly new before diving into explanations.

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Originally Posted by Priya

Did you ask the leaf guy if he was actually new? Your first scenario, they were jerks of course, but the leaf guy could have been someone's second character (people do make them). While he should have turned the leaf off in that case, some people still don't like it when others just assume they're ignorant. For that situation, I'd just recommend making sure he/she is truly new before diving into explanations.

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I didn't ask if he was new, I just told him, as a lancer to keep Heavy Thrust up, that his damage would go up (Since this is needed for the rotation anyway).

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Originally Posted by Priya

Did you ask the leaf guy if he was actually new? Your first scenario, they were jerks of course, but the leaf guy could have been someone's second character (people do make them). While he should have turned the leaf off in that case, some people still don't like it when others just assume they're ignorant. For that situation, I'd just recommend making sure he/she is truly new before diving into explanations.

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So if this was his alt, he has the right to be rude? I do not think so. There is absolutely no reason to ask every green sprout if they are new before giving advice.

TC, why did you, as a DRK, ask to pull the dungeon?

You're the tank - its your job to control the pacing of the dungeon and you do that by being the puller.

For the second group, how did you offer the advice? Just straight up saying "you need to do X" can come off as rather rude condescending, and thus insulting. If you observe them and then offer it as a suggestion "hey, if you do X it'll keep this buff up, and that buff improves your damage" they may take it better.

Your options are usually to ignore them or try to guess at and act according to their mindset. If option 2 fails, return to option 1.

In low level dungeons, the tank, especially if less geared, might not really have enough extra mitigation to warrant the group slowing down to utilize it in the eyes of the healer and damage dealers.
Parallel example - after gaining Regen as a WHM, I stopped asking dps not to peel off the tank, but only that they take no more or less healing than is required by Regen. If they were excessively negligent/arrogant, I'd let them die, and their weakened stats would then be unable to pull of the tank and waste my heals, a net party dps gain through my own dps. Assume we're all coldly practical at heart, and remember that the only real factor in a dungeon is speed (yes, even tanks and healers are only there to increase speed), and you'll be fine. If they push you to the point of death, they just wasted time. Let them keep in mind that you know your limits better than they do, but also keep in mind yourself that if your capabilities (usually gear-based) fall too far behind, you'll no longer the center of their decision-making.

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Originally Posted by Roth_Trailfinder

TC, why did you, as a DRK, ask to pull the dungeon?

You're the tank - its your job to control the pacing of the dungeon and you do that by being the puller.

For the second group, how did you offer the advice? Just straight up saying "you need to do X" can come off as rather rude condescending, and thus insulting. If you observe them and then offer it as a suggestion "hey, if you do X it'll keep this buff up, and that buff improves your damage" they may take it better.

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I asked to let me pull, since they started pulling, asked it multiple times, then I just stopped pulling since they didn't listen.

As for the advice, I wrote this: Hey X, Litlle advice, keep Heavy Thrust up :) I boosts your dps.

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Originally Posted by NamNem

If someone is rude to you, get really close to them and give them a hug. Make it really awkward.

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This. Proven to be extremely effective.

If someone is rude to me and I'm tanking (likely since it is my current main), I will drop the dungeon.
I am a casual player and am not chomping at the bit to grind tokens and gear. I absolutely can afford the 30min. penalty for dropping. However, tanks are hard to find and I know they will either be waiting a while or be forced to drop their party for lack of tanks.

This is the only time I am willing to drop a party. As I will see a dungeon to completion even if I can't stand a dungeon a roulette places me in or even if we die multiple times. I normally am very serious about not dropping groups as a tank. But if I get rude party members I absolutely will.

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Originally Posted by NamNem

If someone is rude to you, get really close to them and give them a hug. Make it really awkward.

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Awesome :)

What I love is when dps in the current expert dungeons try to do this "fine, I'll pull for you" stuff towards the tanks. I've had a few try it, and given the increased power of the mobs (even just 1 group) in Never and Fractal...needless to say they died quite quickly, even using cooldowns/self heals/whatever and in all law w/200 weapon. Don't see it as often as I did healing the old experts, but whenever I do it is still slightly amusing..