Why is it so hard to make close friends in this game? lol

titles saids it all :p

tbh in RL i hav no friends watsoever been trying to go out recently but no luck lol. thats why im trying this approach.

Join a free company? :3
or linkshell

It sometimes takes awhile for you to feel at home in one, even if it's very friendly, and it takes time to get to know people. It took me about a week or two in my FC to get to know all the names and feel cool with folks.

I never had issues getting friends.. I actually just changed server, and I'm in 3 LS already. Just ask to join social linkshells or join a free company.

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Originally Posted by Chevrefoil

Join a free company? :3
or linkshell

It sometimes takes awhile for you to feel at home in one, even if it's very friendly, and it takes time to get to know people. It took me about a week or two in my FC to get to know all the names and feel cool with folks.

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I'm in a FC but its really hard to get close to any one of them. Our fc has a shit ton of members and there r times ill get ignored like a lot lol

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Originally Posted by KiraHayate

I'm in a FC but its really hard to get close to any one of them. Our fc has a shit ton of members and there r times ill get ignored like a lot lol

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I usually join small FCs for that reason.

It's a byproduct of today's Duty-Finder era of MMOs

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Originally Posted by TinyMonster

I usually join small FCs for that reason.

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I have been very close to an FC that felt like family, but we've been disbanded cuz the fc was not prospering well.

You could always try joining a...erm...specialized linkshell.

I blame the /busy status I have to maintain to keep RMT from stealing my sanity. Without which, we might even be close in-game friends.

Come to Balmung.
I'll be your friend. :o

Maybe you should find another one similar or transfer server if possible.

I've found RP selected servers (unofficial or official) tend to be a bit more social and friendly to your average player so exploring a new world might not be a bad idea :D But always test it out before paying money for transfer!

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Originally Posted by KiraHayate

titles saids it all :p

tbh in RL i hav no friends watsoever been trying to go out recently but no luck lol. thats why im trying this approach.

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Well I think that if you're looking for close friends you should avoid big FCs. Like it or not big FCs tends to always have dozens of cliques so it might be dificult to feel like you're surrounded by friends. I personally avoid them because I don't like to feel like a number or "just another guy from that FC with 200 people like him.". Plus I like to know each member or the guild when I'm part of one, and with 100+ people it's nearly impossible to get along with all of them. Try to find a small FC with people that actually like to spend some time trying to know you better.

I think a lot of you are confusing friends with acquaintances.

The reason it's so hard to make friends is because everything is instanced and cross server. So, that amazing dungeon run you had with those awesome people? Probably never gonna see them again. It's a sad truth ;[

bribe people with cookies :P who doesnt love cookies??

OP, you and I are kindred spirits. I wish you more luck than I've had in your search for friends. :D

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Originally Posted by KiraHayate

titles saids it all :p

tbh in RL i hav no friends watsoever been trying to go out recently but no luck lol. thats why im trying this approach.

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You try to make close friends (real friends?) in an MMO? Good luck with that.
In 11 Years of playing MMOs, it happend to me exactly once.
Thats the only one ive met so far i stay in contact with, even if we dont play an MMO together and with whom i mostly talk about non-gaming related stuff.

Onlinegaming isnt really the right place to find real friends.
Atleast not what i call an Friend. Of all the ppl i know in Reallife, i would only call 4 of them to be my Friends.

Better go out in RL. Go into Clubs or Bars, ask co-workers if they would like to go on an drink with you or something like that.
I, as example, found a few more ppl i can go out with, as i joined an Martial Arts class.

Wish you good luck with that

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Originally Posted by DevilsDontFly

snip.

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Yeah. I've been in large FC and it's easy to get lost. That's why I'm so happy to have found my current -- there are lots of members but about 5-10 core folks who are around most often and usually around 15-20 people online at once at most hours. It would be alot harder to chat and get to know people in LS or FC with 20+ people online at once.

Aww I'd be your friend if we were on the same server.

Maybe just look for a more mid-sized fc, of about 15-30 active members for example. You wouldn't be just a number, but it would be probably not as likely to fall apart before you're able to bond a little with the other members.

I partly blame the DF. Makes it a bit harder to befriend people while doing content when you'll never see them again.

But like others have said... find an FC, maybe some good linkshells, you should start making friends.

I feel ya and it's true in this game. Im still in contact with some from FFXI and even met a couple of them.

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Originally Posted by Dyne_Fellpool

It's a byproduct of today's Duty-Finder era of MMOs

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A thousand times this. I found plenty of people I kept in contact with for years from XI, a couple of which I still do. Although ever since the journey has been taken out (cheap tele everywhere, insta-airship, insta-dungeon, etc) the rate of finding people I keep in contact with is down to nearly nil.

Unfortunately text communication is not very effective on it's own as a medium for building meaningful relationships. If you can get in an FC with an active voice chat channel you might have more success but even that is less ideal than hanging out with people in-person (unless you do both).

As people have said, DF is a double edged sword, you get get in dungeons easier, but most of the dungeons are spent in silence with people on different servers you'll never meet again.

However, there are plenty of people to meet in this game, PF groups are a great way to meet new people find FC's and join linkshells. Also Mor Dhona generally has a big social aspect with a lot of people choosing to hang out there (at least before Gold saucer)

its rare to find actual friends, easy to find gaming friends.

I too have met and kept a select few friends for over 10 years now from ffxi and wow but they are few and far between. most online friends are friends because the game demands it, not cause you would actually like those ppl irl lol

ppl will say/do and pretend anything to get what they want, that's just human nature, anyone thinks otherwise is in denial.

but ...on the rarest of occasions...that one will sparkle amongst the mass of others, they will be genuine, decent and mesh well with your personality

Come to Ragnarok - We shall be friends, and have fun frolicking in the many dungeons of Eorzea.

Additionally, join a smaller FC or linkshell like others have suggested.

I originally played on Hyperion but wanted a more EU focussed server so switched to Ragnarok, joined an FC needing a scholar for coil just over a year ago now. They're some of my closest friends :) (Have even met IRL and the such) !

We're a friendly bunch so if you find yourself on Ragnarok, feel free to join :)

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Originally Posted by Alegis

Better go out in RL. Go into Clubs or Bars, ask co-workers if they would like to go on an drink with you or something like that.

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Tbh you cant find real friends from there either, real friends are made when you are a child. Childhood friends will last untill you rollover and die, others will just come and go.

You make friends in MMOs the same way you make them irl. Have confidence, open up to people, don't be afraid to strike up a conversation, etc. You won't make any friends if you don't think you can.

My fc is perfect for that. We are very small, 6 active players, but we get really close and fc chat is usually chatty. And sometimes if I talk to new people and we hit it off they may ask to join my fc, and bam a new member to the family!
So I suggest joining a small fc, maybe with new players that you can help out?

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Originally Posted by Synestra

Tbh you cant find real friends from there either, real friends are made when you are a child. Childhood friends will last untill you rollover and die, others will just come and go.

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That's so true! a lot of my childhood friends've moved away from my city and it's so hard to become friends with new people nowadays

Huh?

This is the most friendly MMO I've ever played. Made so many good friends.

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Originally Posted by Synestra

Tbh you cant find real friends from there either, real friends are made when you are a child. Childhood friends will last untill you rollover and die, others will just come and go.

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It might be harder to find friends than it was in childhood, but to say that you cant find any anymore, is bullshit.
My closest friends i found as i started to work, while those of my Childhood are long gone.

I'm in an FC with a lot of the core people I played FFXI with, so that's probably the main reason I have my network. Cause the linkshells I joined never really panned out in terms of socialization.

In FFXI though if you didn't have a core group of people to rely on every now and then, it was hard to get a lot of things done, so you relying more on people helping each other here and there. It's organized more casually in FFXIV (not necessarily bad, especially for my limited free time) so you have less things you need that closeness for...so people find it easier to not bother.

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Originally Posted by KiraHayate

I have been very close to an FC that felt like family, but we've been disbanded cuz the fc was not prospering well.

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What exactly is "not prospering well"? I run a small FC, no more than 10 active members usually 4 or so at a time, we make enough points to use meat and mead II 3 or 4 times a week for raiding. Was the leader expecting people to hand over millions in gil for fees or whatever or just wanted unlimited points to leech xp buffs or something? Thats no reason to break up an FC as close as mine is and what you say yours was.

haha,funny.
...and Im a person that avoid any friendship in online games and sozialnetworks ;p

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Originally Posted by TinyMonster

I usually join small FCs for that reason.

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Same here, I dont do well in large guilds. Much as in RL, too many people and its a complete social shut down for me. Best guilds ive been in have had a max of 15-20 active members. Hell ive had more fun in guilds with as low as 3 members who cant even get very much end game done, over larger 50+ guilds.

My advice would be, to log off and try to find friends in real life. Join a club like kick boxing or fitness group, you will find people fast this way. I met 3 people via my weekly kick boxing training and they all are playing FFXIV with me right now. I now have +3 friends in real life and ingame. This can also be the same for you, spread your wings and find friends outside.

Real friends in a mmorpg is very rare and even when you find one, the next new mmorpg might split you two apart.

Maybe stop trying so hard. I dunno. Maybe I'm weird but I make friends without trying. Maybe try talking to random people, I do that all the time when I'm bored. I don't think instancing has anything to do with it. I have friends from FFXI, Aion, TERA, FFXIV, even WoW that I talk to all the time on Facebook and Skype.

As for my "real" social life, making new gamer friends is pretty easy. I don't even bother going on a date with a guy unless he's a gamer.

I've been online gaming for about 12 years now and my online friends have way outlasted my IRL ones. Could be a personality quirk of mine, though. Most do end up "game-specific" - you need to mesh well and have a reason to have contact outside of the game, IMO. The mmo I was playing before this went to utter crap, but a small group of us that played it (and well, another before it) now all keep in touch via a WhatsApp chat.

I agree with small to medium sized groups though - I really fail to see the appeal of the large FCs (how do you even learn basic things like which role people prefer when it's a group of 100+??? How can a leader keep track of drama?) Though I also think he group of people you socialize with in game might not have to be the people you progress with - someone can be a good friend but a terrible player.

400h gametime, friend list still empty ;_;
/cry

It can be difficult to get close with a group of people initially in-game, for the reasons that others have mentioned already.

I'm lucky with the FC that I was inducted into in October. We chat all the time in teamspeak, do things together OTHER than just FF14 and we're just wrapping up PAX with 13 of us being here together, with me never meeting any of them IRL before. And we had a BLAST. And we're a relatively small FC so we can build some lasting relationships together.

You just need to find that good group of people that you can do things together with. I can likely guess which FC you're on Behemoth. Nothing against them, but you've already mentioned one of the problems with them.