For the Parents

This one goes out to all the gamers out there who are parents. I have recently joined the ranks of fatherhood and have found my gaming time cut tremendously, so much that I took about 8 months off, this does make playing an MMO somewhat difficult especially since I enjoy playing with friends, doing FC activities, and playing healing classes. This has forced me to manage my time better, not just for playing games, but for all aspects of my life, not that I had to many issues before this just gives me that extra incentive to manage it. Aside from the time management difficulties I'm actually looking forward to the day I can dress my kiddo up as a Moogle :)

So here's the question that I post to you gamer parents.
How do you manage your parental duties with gaming habits? :confused:

I would tell you, if I really was a parent, but I know a few of my FC people are parents, but never really come onto the forums (Which is one way they are able to manage it :P) From what I understand, they just immediately log off if they know they have to do something. No questions, no nothing, they just do it.

While I am old enough certainly to be a parent, I don't have children of my own. HOWEVER, I am the daughter of a gamer. XD My mom brought me and my sister up on video games. Make it a family activity! I loved the nights the three of us would sit around with some fresh hot cinnamon buns and some game controllers in our hands! 30 years later and our tradition still continues. ^^

The kids reach phases where they can be moderately trusted to sleep for at least x hours. Shit happens, but for the most part during those phases you can maintain a gaming schedule. First few months? Forget about it.

Became a father in 2013. I've molded myself to being able to function off of 4 or 5 hours of sleep for the past 15 years. Which means...I get to play FFXIV for a couple of hours in the evening after child and wife are asleep...(or until she gets done playing Dragon Age).

Normally around 11:30pm-1:30am is my gaming time.

So yeah...those days of gaming for like 8 hours straight...if you ever did, are over my friend. :) But have no fear. You're not down and out. Just have to budget your time...and becoming a night owl wouldn't hurt.

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Originally Posted by omicronx

How do you manage your parental duties with gaming habits? :confused:

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My habits haven't changed at all, were playing on the evenings before, and playing on the evening after.
I just go afk when I need to, and don't care if my game character dying in the process.

Congrats on becoming a Dad!
I am the mother of a toddler who has been playing this game since Beta. :)

Of course, my motherly duties are my first priority so usually I'll play during nap times (and after bedtime). If my kiddo wakes up from nap while I'm healing a dungeon or something, then I'll let him sit next to me and watch YouTube on the other monitor, or I'll find him something to do right next to me until I can finish and log off.

I suppose my advice would be to make certain you actually have a good chunk of time to play before you log in, and when its time to log off... just do it. Try not to fall into that trap of "let me do one more thing....." :)

Im like u, my baby girl is 3 months old and after she was born I used to play 6 hours a day, noy that time has been cut to 5 or 6 hours per week what I do now is just capping my poetics and 1 day of raiding with my static, until l she grows up and sleeps a lot more, but yes, I completely undestand u

Been at it now for about 8 months, parenting that is. Got very adept at using the PS4 controller one handed. Did alot of gathering while feeding the baby. I'll play when she naps or goes to bed for the night, thats when I'll do dungeons, never during the day. It does help break it up though so you don't get burned out on the game.

Babies nap, take advantage of that time. They get older. Have them join in. Even if it's them playing a different game as you play yours (my daughter prefers pokemon and CoD over MMOs for instance). They get even older and they start to play outside with your ever watchful eye.

While not a parent myself, I play in a group with my brother and sister, both of whom have children (one aged 2 1/2, the other aged 1 1/2) as well with a friend who has a kid (aged 5). We play as a group one evening per week, for about three hours. Outside of that, the three of them are rarely online, and when they are it's usually after the kid's asleep.

No question, having kids - particularly young kids! - can seriously cut into your playtime if you're used to regular four-hour game sessions or longer, but it certainly doesn't have to be the end!

You may find yourself resenting "the grinds" a lot more than you used to, though! (My sister's response to Atma? Nope nope nope nope nope nope...)

When my daughter was younger, we took advantage of naps. She's a teenager now, so she's pretty much self managing now.

I have an (almost) 2 year old. She currently naps 1pm-3pm so that is my play time. I have to alternate between XIV and console games each day if I ever wanna play both. When she's in bed, if me and my husband don't want to watch anything together he'll play his PS4 and I'll play XIV again for a few hours in the evening.

I had much more play time when she napped 2-3 times a day lol. Now it's only the once I have to sometimes do housework instead of play during my me time. Try to play during naps. You could also suggest to your partner that you both have an hour or so some days where one of you will watch the little one while the other does their own thing. To give each of you some extra me time. Worked well for me and my husband.

Congrats on becoming a father!

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Originally Posted by omicronx

How do you manage your parental duties with gaming habits?

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Teach them how to use the microwave. No, seriously, parental duties get absolute priority. It's the responsibility for a child's welfare, and who could love a game more than their child? You'll still get some time for yourself when they are asleep.

In similar fashion to the OP, I am a new father too. She's a bouncing lil' Lalafell and full of energy. I have had my ups and downs in trying to get some gaming in as well. From my short lived experience so far, I wait till the evening, after she's gone to sleep with Momma Lalafell, to get my gaming in. It might only be a couple hours of play but I make them count. You got to or else you squander the short time you have. It's been a good time to grind out the relic weapon actually.

Mamma and myself have both agreed we're going to raise our little one into gaming. There is just no way we as gamers, and now parents, can deny her our youthful experiences. We plan to make gaming a family experience and allow her to explore on her own through the vast gaming community with some guidance.

My advice to the OP, take advantage of down times when it comes to your own gaming. Make sure priorities are straight of course... But game on new Papa!

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Originally Posted by Mayh

Congrats on becoming a Dad!

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Good times ahead mate :o

As far as balancing time I macro craft. It's really all you can do unless you're willing to go afk or have people to play with that can understand. If you decide to do dungeons when they're awake use caution. Kids have a way of making more "OH SHITE!" moments than real life ever could without them, as I'm sure you're quickly realizing. God love em :)

But ya, I macro craft when I'm home and they're awake. May you and your new child forever walk in the light of the crystal.

I keep it in a cage and let it out 3 times a day for food. Takes about 30 min total out of my day.
Highly recommend investing in soundproof curtains.

I have two children, but only one is quite dependent on me as she's still very young. Her big sister sometimes keeps her occupied with games, and the two are often inseparable so I can trust them to play nicely. I've had to afk a few times to deal with a few minor issues between the two, and I rarely spend more than a couple of hours on the game at a time unless the kids are at school / playgroup.

Most of my play time is in the evenings, when the youngest is in bed and the eldest is winding down or doing her homework. They always take the highest priority with me though. There will always be another day to complete that raid, but time with the family is priceless.

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Originally Posted by Stihllodeing

Kids have a way of making more "OH SHITE!" moments than real life ever could without them, as I'm sure you're quickly realizing. God love em :)

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Totally had one of those moments, I was healing <insert dungeon here> and had kiddo in his bouncer drinking a bottle. Somehow he managed to fall forward, bouncer and all. That was one heck of an OH SHITE moment.

As a parent your gaming life comes second or third. I've learned to multi-task until my child becomes old enough to not require my attention every 10 seconds which won't happen until they are almost teenagers. The biggest thing I suggest is play with other parents and if you do DF let the others know before hand that you are a new or active parent and may need to suddenly stop when your kid learns how to make fire for the first time.

For tools I use a 17 button mouse to play one handed for feeding and tending to boo-boos.
A single ear piece so I can hear TS, music or w/e and still listen to my child talk about nothing for 30 minutes in my other ear but still pretend to be overly excited & interested to spare his delicate feelings.
I also use two cross eyes one for focusing on my monitor and the other for looking at my child's 15th awesome stick figure drawing of his family and to make sure he's hasn't wandered anywhere un-designated since they are excellent at Parkour.

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Originally Posted by omicronx

So here's the question that I post to you gamer parents.
How do you manage your parental duties with gaming habits? :confused:

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Quite simple. Wait ** years until the load roar turns into being the "norm" :P (12-15 sounds about right ;P)

Honestly, though, the real answer is whenever you are able hehehehe

Kid passes out? Quietly play. Kid wakes up? AFK break until kid goes back to sleep.
Get the kid interested in playing. "Hey look at this, doesn't it look cool/pretty?" "Want to try running my character around?" (take to safe-ish area and let them explore) Get your mate (wife/husband/bf/gf/etc) interested in playing and make in game "date nights"
Mate/child demanding attention and/or don't want to play games? Give it to them then come back an play when they are busy/sleeping ;)

Met my wife online in a MUD in the 90's ;) No issue with wife not wanting to play and our kid is now 18 heheh

I'm not a parent, and I'm having serious doubts it will ever happen at this point, but remember your child is top priority. I'd say try to get some friends who understand to do the occasional event, because you never know how people in randoms would react to a lot of random afks.

Don't let incidents like this happen.

I quit video games when I had my daughter. I introduced them to her when she was about 7 or 8 and we had lots of fun playing together. But she was totally addicted - it was a serious problem. So I had to remove them (banhammer) from the house.

I slowly allowed her to play again. When she was 15, she got me hooked on XI and everyone lived happily ever after.

The end.

I play XIV way more than she does now. :)

My boys' almost 3. I generally play for a few hours after he goes down at 8:30. Also nap times are of course for gaming. And for a little while after he gets up. He likes me to chase the "dinosaurs". Also helps if the wife is supportive of the game time!

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Originally Posted by Violyre

I'm not a parent, and I'm having serious doubts it will ever happen at this point, but remember your child is top priority. I'd say try to get some friends who understand to do the occasional event, because you never know how people in randoms would react to a lot of random afks.

Don't let incidents like this happen.

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That's just sad. What kind of sick person leaves a young child on their own to go to an internet café? And to the extent they starve to death? That's not even just bad parenting, it's cruelty plain and simple.

No sleep.

Father of a 10 year old, which was cool as she liked to watch, until my SURPRISE 1 year old baby was born. Now, I earn time to play. I let the wife hang with friends or watch her shows while I play with the kids or put on Yo Gabba Gabba, and she'll watch the kids while I play for a couple hours every other day.

Make friends with caffeine, game time is midnight to 2am most of the time, just to get up at 6 with the family.

We have a couple sets of parents in my FC. That's why events are usually in the evenings. One couple even has a 7 year old son who will usually play on the dad's character since it still has jobs to level. One of the parents will be on the mom's character and the two of them usually do dungeons together. Start training your kid for dungeon running.

Being a hardcore gamer and continuing to try and be a gamer after having my son two years ago i can tell you it sucks at first realizing that yes you dont have that much time anymore. Personally my son was up feeding every 4 hours during the night so i was pretty much out of gaming at night. During the day he would nap quite often and i would eithet sleep or game or work at that time. Once they hit about 6 months old you could probably game while they are asleep.

I have been playing a tank this whole time and alot of times it reaalllyy sucks when you pretty much have to log off no warning or very little warning to anyone ingame regardless if your in a dungeon. If its sunthing minor like making a quick bottle or diaper change its very possible to run a dungeon and do those at the same time without telling your party you need to afk. Generally if im in a party and need to do something important thats quick ill striaght up tell the party afk 2 mins gotta change sons diaper or make him a bottle. So far i have never been kicked out or party or get crap for it. Most pplz are understanding and at times it xan create some very unusual yet funny conversations.
As far as time management i have a schedule i follow but normally gaming always has to be set as a low piority . Just make sure you know your kids sleeping/feeding/playtime schedule and dont start anything ingame if you know your kid will be waking up soon or wanting to feed soon. Always start more time consuming things as soon as the kid falls asleep.

Make your wife do everything leaves plenty of time for games.

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Originally Posted by Lemuria

That's just sad. What kind of sick person leaves a young child on their own to go to an internet café? And to the extent they starve to death? That's not even just bad parenting, it's cruelty plain and simple.

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This has happened several times. Mostly in korea, china and i believe ive seen a few in the news here before about it going on in the philippines. But its an addiction and some severe mental health issues that cause this type of stuff to happen.