How to handle in-game stalkers?

I've had a stalker coming to my FC yard for over 3 months now and whisper my FC members as they walk by if they haven't got him blacklisted.
He was removed from my FC because of incessant harassment to other players.
He admittedly has severe mental health issues.

I've reported this player at least 20 times and Square Enix refuses to do anything. Other people in my FC have reported him multiple times. He must have at least 50 reports on his account.

I've tried asking him to leave.
I've tried ignoring him.

I'm thoroughly disappointed in Square Enix's customer service as they've done nothing to protect me & my Free Company from stalking and defamation.

I considered unsubbing, but in my eyes, that's letting the stalker win.
Does this count as cyber stalking? I have his full name and address and could file against him if I needed to.

Please help. I am extremely frustrated.

edit: blacklist was the first thing I did!

Did you even blacklist him?

If GMs/reps continue to ignore you I would suggest you blacklist the person. If even that fails, you may want to seriously consider taking some time away from the game. I know you don't want to let him "win", but sometimes your emotional well-being has to come before winning or losing. If this is something that is causing you stress in your real life, then it would be healthier for you personally to just walk away. (In my humble opinion.)

Just blacklist him and do your best to ignore him. Informing other FC members of the situation up front would be ideal, as it could lead to some misunderstandings between this person and the FC's relationship.
We've had a couple of cases of people removed from my FC as well which then went on to try to get in through other members. It's a hassle at times, but as long as at least your most active members know about it, it shouldn't be too hard to deal with.

Indeed, he has been blacklisted from the start and I haven't spoken to him since the blacklist.
He has, however, spoiled multiple animes in /say to other people.
We also had to remove our training dummy because he let his pet spam on it day and night, which makes anyone's nearby visual alerts go off and makes repetitive, annoying sounds. I had to wait for a server reset to remove the dummy because it was stuck in combat.

My girlfriend had this issue as she is known around online a lot and had this issue. Even had people buying the game and subbing just to talk to her. She changed her in game name back last year in spring (With the server trick) and then changed her character looks. It worked, no one bothers her anymore..at all.

If he's only following you in particular, you could try changing your name and using a phial to change your appearance. Also you might want to considering dropping your fc temporarily just in case he notices someone reappearing as your current character disappeared. That's pretty much the most you can do if the gms aren't getting involved. If he strickly following your fc in particular, there really isn't much you can do besides telling new members to put him on the blacklist and treat him as mobile lawn ornament.

I regularly chill out in the FC's houses front yard, just chatting it up with people. It's how I pass the time when I'm not in combat or crafting, etc. It's a legitimate way to enjoy the game.
I would think any GM would agree that if someone is disrupting the way you enjoy the game, something should be done. I would suggest contacting a GM again to further clarify. Don't just submit tickets back and forth, ask for someone to speak with you ingame. THey'll send you a tell and that may be a better way to articulate the situation at hand to them.

Depending on the severity of his harassments, you could actually report it to the police. I know plenty of cases in other MMOs where the GMs didn't do much to stop the harasser till the police got involved. Then they rushed to fix things. Of course, the harassment has got to be serious enough.

blacklist and ignore is a terrible solution in my eyes. these people need to be told that this behavior is not acceptable and possibly reprimanded

If the guy is spoiling anime then really your outta luck and I fully see why SE is blowing you off (and rightfully so!). Same thing about making noises next to you with training dummy. Really?

However if the guy is getting pretty creepy you should ask SE support what numbers of theirs you need to include in a police report and see what response you get out of them.

@OP, I've had similar issues but don't waste your money on a name change or phial-- if this person is as terrible as you describe and really stalking you, they will just do what happened to me and look up your character via google using any of your old characters names and it will redirect him to whatever you renamed your character to/display your new race/look. If he's really paranoid, he might've just bookmarked your lodestone and then that will always keep up with any changes at all you'd do since it is done by character ID (that sucks, too, SE really needs to fix that as well as the linking old to new once someone name changes).

The only recourse left that may work, and worked for me, is transferring servers. Most people won't spend $18 just to stalk someone in a game, and if they do....well, that's a good sign it is time to take it to the real life authorities. ^_^V Good luck!!

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Originally Posted by landua

Does this count as cyber stalking? I have his full name and address and could file against him if I needed to.

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If you know his real life information just get a hold of him via phone or something and tell him to stop before he ends up getting hurt.

Alittle intimidation goes along way when he aint protected by the safety of his keyboard.

If you call him he would have your phone number.
I don't think that would be worth it..

Try telling him you've passed on his full name and address to the police and see if that discourages him.

How isn't that falling into "harassment", GMs? o_O What was the response that you received from them?

Call him from a phone number not your own (prepaid phone works best for this) and ask him to stop. RECORD THIS using a method of your choosing. Have a witness who is willing to corroborate the conversation took place. The more neutral the better. Make sure he's on speaker phone if you can.
Confront him again in-game (this requires taking him off blacklist) and ask him to stop. take screenshots and PHOTOGRAPHS of the conversation.
Then, go down to your local courthouse and ask for your options. Often times this will be a restraining order, it varies depending on state or jurisdiction. But basically, if he is affecting your emotional well-being and is stalking you, he is committing a crime and steps can and should be taken.
Also, file petitions with square enix as much as possible about him. Even if it doesn't work, keep at it.
Oh, and if he's bothering your ENTIRE FC? Have them all do the same. And keep filing petitions.

What terrible crimes has he committed, besides spoiling anime and attacking your training dummy? Why not just ignore the guy? It's not like he can actually harm you in the game or anything.

It's true. You're not losing anything by ignoring him because you won the moment you put him on blacklist. If he wants to spend his days as a ghost hovering over your FC then that's his questionable decision.

Unless you confront a GM about it personally you will probably get no real response from them. I had an FC member once that would report strangers because they would hover over our FC house for too long. Some of them were just trying to be legitimately friendly too. I could imagine that if there other people who report for frivolous things such as that, most reports aren't glanced at a second time.

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Originally Posted by Riepah

What terrible crimes has he committed, besides spoiling anime and attacking your training dummy? Why not just ignore the guy? It's not like he can actually harm you in the game or anything.

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Originally Posted by Coatl

It's true. You're not losing anything by ignoring him because you won the moment you put him on blacklist. If he wants to spend his days as a ghost hovering over your FC then that's his questionable decision.

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Both of these ignore the point that he's harassing everyone ELSE as well. They've effectively had to include a caveat in their FC's recruitment to include "ignore the psycho on our lawn." He needs to be punished properly.

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Originally Posted by landua

I've had a stalker coming to my FC yard for over 3 months now and whisper my FC members as they walk by if they haven't got him blacklisted.
He was removed from my FC because of incessant harassment to other players.
He admittedly has severe mental health issues.

I've reported this player at least 20 times and Square Enix refuses to do anything. Other people in my FC have reported him multiple times. He must have at least 50 reports on his account.

I've tried asking him to leave.
I've tried ignoring him.

I'm thoroughly disappointed in Square Enix's customer service as they've done nothing to protect me & my Free Company from stalking and defamation.I considered unsubbing, but in my eyes, that's letting the stalker win.
Does this count as cyber stalking? I have his full name and address and could file against him if I needed to.

Please help. I am extremely frustrated.

edit: blacklist was the first thing I did!

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granted mine may make the situation worst, but you could tell him to get laid in real life, if he does that enough, he wouldnt have time to harass you guys

Sadly, if he's been doing this for 3+ months, I doubt he's just going to lose interest and stop. I know someone who had a stalker from the beginning of 2.0... While he blacklisted the stalker almost immediately, this person STILL follows him around and shouts about him (the only way he knows this is from other people mentioning it). The defamation doesn't stop, and SE hasn't done anything about it. As others have said, if this stalking is serious (to the point of fearing for your safety -- not just a mere annoyance), I would take the next step and take it to authorities. If it is true that this person is suffering from mental illness, then it seems your FC and house has become almost an obsession to him and it is unlikely he will stop on his own. I really feel for you because I hope people don't leave your FC over this guy (which is probably his aim... to cause your FC to fall). It's too bad the best you can do is 'lock' your FC house... but even so, it's annoying that you can't leave it unlocked. It's nice to invite people over who aren't in the FC sometimes.

invite the com of your server to your house and just blame and shame him all together

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Originally Posted by jars

blacklist and ignore is a terrible solution in my eyes. these people need to be told that this behavior is not acceptable and possibly reprimanded

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Exactly. I find that when you ignore a stalker, or even when you tell him that it makes you uncomfortable or whatnot, it just emboldens him. I've dealt with a stalker in RL, and ignoring him didn't work at all. Telling him to leave me alone, threatening to call the police, none of that had any effect because he thought I was playing with him. He was absolutely shocked when I actually did have him arrested and got a restraining order. He thought I was playing the game with him up to then. He thought I was just trying to make the game more fun. If a stalker doesn't get harsh punishment from those in authority, he's not going to stop. Ever. That's just how the stalker mentality works. I would state in your next GM call that if SE is not going to do anything about it, you're going to go to the authorities over the matter. There's a page on the FBI.gov website about what constitutes cyber stalking, I'm not in a position where I can look up the exact link for you right now (funny that the work internet filter cuts out the FBI but not the FFXIV forums, eh?), but just using their search function should bring it up. They'll have instructions on what to do if you feel that you're being stalked. Stalking is a crime. Whether it be out in the real world, or online. You should not have to put up with it, and if the authorities within FFXIV will do nothing about it, you should certainly go to a higher authority. That behavior is unacceptable, and you should not have to put up with it for any reason, or under any circumstances. And don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise. You have a right to live your life free of fear, discomfort, or any other emotion this person evokes within you. It's not your fault he's an asshole that doesn't understand boundaries or social civility, it's his, and if he is not punished for it he will never stop. He probably doesn't even understand that he's doing anything wrong, and thinks that you're just playing the game with him. He will never know that his behavior is unacceptable until someone with authority steps in and makes him stop.

where is your house? I'm interested in taking a look at it, lol

bump

I wanna know if this has been taken care of either by GM or police.

He's being really unclear about what this player has done that would be considered harassment. He sits on your lawn. He talks in /say (and spoils anime secrets). He uses a training dummy outside of your house. If people are bothered by spoilers for an anime that's what the blacklist is for. He /whispers people.

Unless this player is threatening to take action against someone in-game in the real world, none of the actions he has taken are against the ToS as far as I know. All I've seen is some tumblr-whining about someone in a video game. You've already blacklisted him, and I'm sure players in your FC have taken the same action if they find him to be a nuisance. People that are suggesting you contact the police for something like this are going so far overboard they don't even know where their ship is anymore. It's a virtual world. Nothing this guy can do in-game can impact your well being.

You've done all that needs to be done.

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Originally Posted by Xaphire

He's being really unclear about what this player has done that would be considered harassment. He sits on your lawn. He talks in /say (and spoils anime secrets). He uses a training dummy outside of your house. If people are bothered by spoilers for an anime that's what the blacklist is for. He /whispers people.

Unless this player is threatening to take action against someone in-game in the real world, none of the actions he has taken are against the ToS as far as I know. All I've seen is some tumblr-whining about someone in a video game. You've already blacklisted him, and I'm sure players in your FC have taken the same action if they find him to be a nuisance. People that are suggesting you contact the police for something like this are going so far overboard they don't even know where their ship is anymore. It's a virtual world. Nothing this guy can do in-game can impact your well being.

You've done all that needs to be done.

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I wonder, permanently using another FC's dummy, ( OP says that he couldn't even remove the dummy because it was constantly used ) and always standing in the house plot seems a little too much, especially if it lasted 3 months. That makes me want to know where that house is, just to stalk the stalker xD.

Honestly, i don't see the issue. Just give the word to any new recruit to blacklist him. Problem solved. It's a minor annoyance. The training dummy thing is a bit sad, i admit. Then, as others have said, treat it like a pet for your fc. He can't bother you anymore, he can just run around, so just treat it like you would a wandering pet. Either he will get bored, or he won't, doesn't matter.

I'm a little late to the party but would you mind switching to balmung so I can stalk you? thanks in advance

If this person were stalking you in real life, I would definitely see it as a problem. But the common mistake people seem to make a lot is that the world in the game and real life have anything to do with each other. It's may seem bad but it's about as bad as a pesky gnat at worst.

My advice is just blacklist him (yes I see that you have done that already) and just use him as a punchline is your FC or something like a running gag. Make some humor out of it. "Wow your crazy! I meen like <name of stalker> crazy!" "How often dose <stalker> wash his hands do you think?" stuff like that.

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Originally Posted by Meier

My girlfriend had this issue as she is known around online a lot and had this issue. Even had people buying the game and subbing just to talk to her. She changed her in game name back last year in spring (With the server trick) and then changed her character looks. It worked, no one bothers her anymore..at all.

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That's a mighty high opinion you have of your hand. Sorry I could resist :cool:

http://i.imgur.com/2iYXpbL.gif

If he is only spoiling anime and showing up on your FC lawn, then I dont think SE can do anything about that. It sucks and this person clearly has some issues, but for now my advice is to ignore him. He will get bored if everyone, included yourself starts ignoring him. Just make the whole FC blacklist and let him talk. He might trash talk to you for a month or two more, but aslong as everyone sees and hears nothing, he will get bored and move along.

Stay strong and ignore, dont insult him, dont talk with him. He is not there.

PS: Never spend real life money, because someone is stalking you, its best to wait till SE deem it bad and they do something about it.

Just ignore them, As they can't do anything to you.

Blacklist, and forget. Really you getting bug by them is likely giving them there kicks so they are winning because they are getting under your skin.

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Originally Posted by jars

blacklist and ignore is a terrible solution in my eyes. these people need to be told that this behavior is not acceptable and possibly reprimanded

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Are you under the impression that he isn't aware that his behavior is wrong? Chances are hes fully aware that hes being a creep. It just doesn't bother him. Ignoring him is the best solution you got if you can't get a GM to handle him and every new character he makes if his gets banned.

It's a lot like a skinner box. Responding to his harassment is his reward. Ignore him and he'll eventually give up.

Tell'em there's a big Roe on Gilgamesh that has some plans for him... BIG plans.

Seriously though. I don't think there's anything that will be done, sadly enough. I suppose if enough people reported him, eventually someone would have to take notice.