Attitudes and Promoting a friendlier server

Since patch 2.3 hit I have been watching my server slowly slip into a chaotic mess of disgruntled players. Several of my friends have become enemies with each other, LS's and FC's have kicked folks and random players were black listed for very trivial reasons. I have grit my teeth and endured all of this until today. I can no longer tolerate unnecessary negativity with out standing out against it. Folks on my server (and I'm sure other servers) have become so toxic and abrasive that even simple casual conversation sends them into a frenzy. I have seen new players asking legitimate questions get bombarded with hate-filled comments for no reason. I've seen casual friendly conversations interrupted by rude statements purely meant to ridicule those who were just trying to have a decent conversation. I have seen people get cussed out for various things such as accidental pulls of hunts marks, shouting to sell items to avoid MB fees, and even general Party Finder recruitment shouts.

I'm appalled by the amount of people who have been ridiculing each other (or joining in when someone else starts) purely because their emotions/tempers are running high from the stress of hunts.

If I talked like this in real life, I would be liable to get my face pummeled into the floor. I realize that the internet provides a certain level of anonymity, but as adults we should all know better and treat each other with respect. Do not take your emotions or stress out on your fellow players. If this game ever stresses you out then I urge you to take a break.

Please remember to treat people how you want to be treated. No one wants to be ridiculed or cussed out no matter what the reason may be. I know sometimes its easier to just let our emotions run wild but this can and does hurt the community when it happens.

I realize this post will probably do nothing to help the majority of players in the community, but I can no longer sit by and watch my beloved server fall to ruin without saying something. From now I on I will be standing out against this kind of behavior and when necessary reporting it to GM's.

Please be kind if you decide to leave your thoughts and do so in a civil manner :) Let's all promote a friendlier place to play so everyone can enjoy it.

There are no friends on mmos, other people are just tools to use so you can get what you want. - This was something that was said to me in the last mmo I played and it's situations like the release of Hunts that make you see how true it is for some people.
People hold no loyalties.

You can have someone be the best friend ever possible towards you, but if you come between them and a shiny bit of new gear, all bets are off :P

how is Moogle i been thinking of tansfering there got a friend there from ff11 Skeive shadowfang

I've seen a couple of such instances on cerberus. One when trying to help a newbie who was asking about things in shout and the poor idle afk hunters started to whine about keeping the shout clear etc.... A few of us then started helping that newbie and I've made a friend out of it as well(one of the other players that was helping him). So yes there are toxic members everywhere there are also the good people there. Just stop being quiet and be one of those that helps.

I've come to run around as a sch/whm for hunts here and there on patrol(since I solo hunt) but I wil rez and heal and help out people I see along the way(even if I'm dps I will help DPS that fate boss that one newbie is trying to do). I call it "running around doing random acts of healing" and one of my friends always get's a kick out of that when I mention I'm doing it. The friendlier server begins with you. Do good things for others and maybe just maybe they will do them for others.

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Originally Posted by ruskie

So yes there are toxic members everywhere there are also the good people there. Just stop being quiet and be one of those that helps.

I've come to run around as a sch/whm for hunts here and there on patrol(since I solo hunt) but I wil rez and heal and help out people I see along the way(even if I'm dps I will help DPS that fate boss that one newbie is trying to do).

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Agreed. There's a reason I always, always keep Raise on my crossbar even as a paladin.

never say you are new, if you want a chance to at least try an instance
never say you dont understand very well english, you will be kicked
never try to give an advice or ask for some, you wll just be met with despise and hate and demeaning comments
(you in here is the *you* as in general *you*)

Rule : Follow your own, be nice and considerate but let nobody walk on your face for no reasons and especially do not bow to unfairness ...

conclusion: if you want to play with a peace of mind and without anger...just dont have friends, play alone and if you have friends, remember that those are far in between and that mostly you are a tool that is being used or you are the user of a tool.

Just my way credo

Mei

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Originally Posted by MeiUshu

never say you dont understand very well english, you will be kicked

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that works with french too! :D
I once got called a noob and kicked from a dungeon because I wrote "i don't speak french"

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Originally Posted by Defteros

that works with french too! :D
I once got called a noob and kicked from a dungeon because I wrote "i don't speak french"

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JP as well. in 1.0 once you mention the fact you don't speak Japanese you're kicked from a party if the leader is Japanese.

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Originally Posted by Defteros

that works with french too! :D
I once got called a noob and kicked from a dungeon because I wrote "i don't speak french"

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On that case, if that happens too much often, you need change datacenter, as long as duties are cross-server.

I will always make an effort to help anyone who asks for it. That being said though, what I was referring to mostly in my original post is those players who love to trample on anyone friend, or foe for no reason. What motivates these people to say or do such things I can't understand. If people are doing their own thing and generally leaving other players to their own devices, why walk up and start a fight or belittle someone for no reason? That is what I have been seeing alot. Especially since tempers have been running hot over hunts recently.

Yeah, i had a few cases like that doing hunts. After you arive for the 8th time in a row only to see some group pull before people are gathered and basicly murder the crap out of whatever it is in seconds, you can get a bit miffed. I say a bit, but it basicly came to the point where we were SERIOUSLY thinking about just fighting whatever we found because we wouldnt get a hit in if we shouted/LS'd the location of B's, A's and even an S.

Taking a break is great. Opposed to going on and shouting bloody murder at people.

But at the same time, there's a lot of groups (especially on Behemoth) trolling people like that. Pulling before people are gathered on purpose, making fun of people who didnt get there in time, and even what can only be described as shout-wars whereever they went.

I mean we're all (mostly) adults here, there's no reason to behave like that in a game. It's not going to hurt anyone to be a bit more friendly towards one another. I'm not sure what MMO these kids came from, but i'll be happy once they move back or move on...

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Originally Posted by elkhorn

how is Moogle i been thinking of tansfering there got a friend there from ff11 Skeive shadowfang

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Moogle is pretty awesome.
The server is busy and the people are really friendly and generally quite helpful in my experience :)

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Originally Posted by Vespar

I will always make an effort to help anyone who asks for it. That being said though, what I was referring to mostly in my original post is those players who love to trample on anyone friend, or foe for no reason. What motivates these people to say or do such things I can't understand. If people are doing their own thing and generally leaving other players to their own devices, why walk up and start a fight or belittle someone for no reason? That is what I have been seeing alot. Especially since tempers have been running hot over hunts recently.

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People do that because it makes them feel like more than they really are, and because they can hide behind the anonymity of the internet. There is no logical reason behind it...

Unfortunately, it's not just the hunts. I've seen it in Syrcus Tower as well. The drama is even worse than on daytime television. I simply just macrod in the explanation for that particular instance. It's no big deal to hit a few hotbar buttons.

I've gotten annoyed at some hunts situations as well, but for the love of God and all that is good and holy, suck it up. It is what it is and you are not going to change it. Instead of grumping about, how about complimenting the people that are kind and friendly? It'll make life a whole lot easier and more pleasant for everyone.

People seem to have forgotten that it's easier to be kind and friendly. It costs a lot less energy than being angry, frustrated and hateful.

It's an MMO, it's a player versus enviroment game which indicates cooperating with each other. It's not that hard really.

I have been feeling that people are more and more interested in gear/loot than actually palying the game for its own fun. The first week of Syrcus Tower, I went with 6 other people of my FC. I was Monk and the 8th one was also a Monk. Guess what? He started a vote kick against me with a d/c reason. Which of course I wasn't. I believe it was for loot and that he did want to be the only one to roll on Monk gear. At the end, he was kicked. But seriously...

For me, to be friendly or not will also depend on the other player. Lately, I ran a Stone Vigil where the tank wasn't a War but a Marauder. He did not keep aggro on anything, except his own mob. I tanked all the other mobs in the packs as a Dragoon as otherwise the healer would have get killed. I just told him that he could get the War job and that he could use Overpower. He did not and he did not answer anything in the chat (and it wasn't a problem of language, all of us were French.). The only reason he did not write something may be if he was on PS so I waited for him to answer anything (I mean, even only an "?" would have been fine for me if he didn't know about Overpower). So, nothing in the chat and no use of Overpower. I just left after a few packs.

At the other hand, there was someone in the PF searching for help for Adampor Keep. Just ran as a War and explained the run. That was fine.

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Originally Posted by Lewena

I have been feeling that people are more and more interested in gear/loot than actually palying the game for its own fun. The first week of Syrcus Tower, I went with 6 other people of my FC. I was Monk and the 8th one was also a Monk. Guess what? He started a vote kick against me with a d/c reason. Which of course I wasn't. I believe it was for loot and that he did want to be the only one to roll on Monk gear. At the end, he was kicked. But seriously...

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I'm always doing ST as a BLM, and I've always found party with 2-3 even 4 BLMs x°D

I have to echo that Lewena. I've seen people drop party after getting their loot and I've seen healers just stand there and do absolutely nothing. I usually run ST with my hubby and he's a white mage. Sometimes he'll ask the other healer to help and one time, I swear this is true, the healer literally said: I do what I want.
It's so sad to see that the hunts and Syrcus Tower have brought out the worst in people.

On the other hand, the new player leafy icon is great. I've also seen people shout out for new players with said icon, in order to 'win' a minion. I myself have run up to new players and greeted them, asked them if they needed assistance with anything.
So, at least there is some positive things going on as well =D

I agree. I try my best to be helpful and friendly to people who ask questions, and tips when we are having a rough time. And I type a little "sry, my bad" if I accidently pull or screw up (I am aware when I royally do). But sometimes there are just knob jockys out there.

It seems ST is the place for mentalists.
I was doing a run the other day and the second chest the Healer robe dropped. Me and the other WHM rolled. I got it. After that he just kept tying "You suk" and "Your bad" and other such like. Our tank was new, was watching a CS and got locked out of a boss and he tried to kick them for "cheating". Which is rubbish, cos I was in a party with the tank (they are in the FC), and I saw her sprinting to the gate, but it locked just before she got there. We wiped, so she got the fight in the end....
I ignored the insults the rest of the dungie, but at the end it continued and I finally typed "whatever, dude"....I know, probably not the right answer, but I just wanted him to end it. He also instigate Abandon a couple of times. I guess it was because sometimes I cast a Regen here and there and only a Medica+DS instead of MedicaII at times (gasp!)

It doesnt bother me when people troll me, but I feel bad when I see it for others - as I dont know how they must feel (pretty bad, I imagine in some cases) and I do try and stick up for others. I always try and make whatever I am involved with fun and stress-less......except when we are doing Garuda EX....then I cry on my keyboard and throw my controller across the room :D

Yep, this is why I advertise my FC as a haven from assholes and trolls. I have an Anti-Harassment policy in place that bans "you suck". XD I strongly encourage everyone fight against negativity on their server! And yes, I am VERY aware how difficult and nearly futile this task can seem. But don't give up! A friendly, fun game is what (nearly) all of us want. :) Good luck!

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Originally Posted by Snootles

On the other hand, the new player leafy icon is great. I've also seen people shout out for new players with said icon, in order to 'win' a minion. I myself have run up to new players and greeted them, asked them if they needed assistance with anything.
So, at least there is some positive things going on as well =D

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I myself enjoy the new player icons as well. If i'm standing around a city waiting for something, I try to find new players and ask them if they need any help with anything or have questions. The only thing i would change with the new player icon system is that they don't have it for new characters made by people who have been playing for awhile. Sometimes I ask people with an icon if they are new and they say nope been playing for awhile. Would help us veterans know if someone actually is new.

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Originally Posted by Ephany

There are no friends on mmos, other people are just tools to use so you can get what you want. - This was something that was said to me in the last mmo I played and it's situations like the release of Hunts that make you see how true it is for some people.
People hold no loyalties.

You can have someone be the best friend ever possible towards you, but if you come between them and a shiny bit of new gear, all bets are off :P

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Ugh. Only reason I play is to chill with my friendly FC, full of people I don't know IRL.