Social dynamics in FF14: A reflection and open question

Hello everyone,

I apologize for being wordy, but I'd love to hear your opinions.

Realm Reborn has many different personalities. I have met a few people who were great, but part of an FC that didn't seem welcoming. After leaving these FCs, I lose contact with them. This has been my experience over and over again. I have transferred servers in hopes that it would change it's the same issue.

I'll elaborate: I am introduced to the group but quickly realize that I'm an outsider. After a week, I am ignored by other members. Greetings are only exchanged between other members, and conversations are noninclusive.

I continue to play but feel like a lone wolf. Sometimes it's empowering and other times it's sad.

Currently I am facing the same problem. I wonder if it's something I am doing wrong. Am I expecting too much? Am I looking at the social dynamics of an mmo in the wrong way?

Thanks for reading through this long post.

i find older FCs to be harder to make friends. i went thru 4 fc before settling with the one i have. my advice is to find newly fresh FCs that just started.

edit lol Op your post isnt long at all. in fact, it rather short ;)

It is, unfortunately, a very common problem, though it is hardly restricted to MMO's.

People come in, make friends and then once they have friends, they tend to not stray outside that circle of friends, even to the point of excluding people being brought into their FC/Guild/Clan/whatever.

Something else to keep in mind, you have to put yourself out there as well, don't just join an FC and expect them to include you in activities and such if you do not make the effort to put yourself in a position where you become known to them. I've seen this far too many times, someone joins an FC, never says a word, for weeks at a time, so no one knows who the hell they are, and then leaves. And when asked why they left, "No one ever said hello, or asked me if I wanted to do anything..." Remember, it's a two way street, you HAVE to make yourself visible, absolutely have to, in order to make friends, especially in MMO's.

Both good replies. Thank you.

In response to Muzy: I have wondered about what I'm doing wrong. In some cases, I think I may have been too silent. But then I think about it and at first, I have tried to say hi, and then never get a response. I think that it's because everyone is busy, but then a certain person comes on and they are greeted is multiple exclamation points. Same thing with asking for help and stuff. I've tried to be helpful, but the problem is that no one needs a new person's help. They already have that in their older FC members.

Regardless, I will be mindful of that in the future. Just wish it were a little easier to deal with.

It is definitely not all that easy, but keep your chin up and keep looking, you will find something that suits you. Like astrobear said, newer FC's are usually a good idea, though, not always, as they can fall apart rather quickly.

I recommend checking your server subforum for FC's that might be a good fit, and also wander over the the Super General Discussion thread in this area, a fair number of people in there are from Balmung and are rather friendly, see if any of them might be happy to bring you into the fold there.

FC shop. Really go through those ad threads on this site and others. You need to find a group thats compatible with you. Steer clear of "hard core" groups if you are going for a more social aspect. Find a FC that is semi hard core and maybe not to big. I find the bigger the FC the harder it is to get to know your fellow players. Try to find a FC that uses voice chat often, and use it! People that talk "outside" of game get to know each other faster and better. I do sympathize with you though, I had the same problem in WoW, I guild hopped for ages trying to find that group. I never did find them, which saddened me, because I was very close to my fellow players from FF11. Thankfully thats not a problem in this game, I play with a great group of people.

There are FC's out there that will fit you. Dont give up. Good luck finding what you are looking for.

Like others have said, this isn't something that is just in ARR, this is something that happens everywhere; online and IRL.

You do have to find people you "mesh" with; play with people (join PFs), chat with people, join Linkshells if you can, ask about people's FCs. Be chatty...but not too chatty.

I would try looking at smaller FCs over the larger ones; larger FCs tend to be very impersonal and you are more or less just another member outside the core. Smaller ones you can get a better feel for the group and maybe fit in better.

But you probably will have to look for a long while; don't give up, though, there are people out there. You just have to have the good fortune of finding them.

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one going through this. The feedback has been most inspiring and enlightening.

Tough topic to answer. I started in Version 1 and had a great linkshell. Most of us kept in touch through guildwork even a simple hello here and there. At relaunch of ARR 2 years later those that stayed on the server were all in a FC started by old linkshell members. First few weeks were fine after that it turned into the inner circle that played nonstop just farming tomes and didn't care about anyone else. Once members started getting their relics handed to them then it really got bad. Nose up in there air I'm better than you syndrome. Close friends of mine got disgusted, fights broke and out and even some quit or left the FC.
We didn't have that in Version 1 so I never expected be a ARR or the community to be a bunch of snobs. One of my close friends transferred servers and said the community was fun and so was his new FC. Maybe it was a legacy server thing I don't know. I would transfer if they would let me take my gil with lol.

c'est la vie
as others have said, it's just the way things are in life and that translates into all social interactions. I feel for you on the established FCs. I joined my FC in the early days of ARR launch. However, the FC had migrated from an older server and had been playing together since 1.0's days. It took awhile (and lots of FC chats and runs), but I have felt at home in the FC for some time. But I certainly felt like a bit of an outsider for the first month or so. My FC is currently at 126 people and there are definitely times I am running around the server and spot someone in my FC and I have no idea who that person is.

My suggestions to you would be:
a) start a FC or join a smaller one
b) be talkative in FC chat, so that your name at least becomes recognizable
c) offer to help other FC players (crafting, warm body in dungeons, etc.)
d) roll a tank (insta-friends! your mileage may vary)

There are a lot of newer people in my FC as a result of recent recruitment. However, I'm starting to recognize names and personalities just because they are talking in the chat and offering/asking for help. Just be proactive and hang in there (esp for a larger FC). Don't take others' silence as being dismissive.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Muzy

Something else to keep in mind, you have to put yourself out there as well, don't just join an FC and expect them to include you in activities and such if you do not make the effort to put yourself in a position where you become known to them.

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What's said here is quite important. Someone asks for help with their relic? Volunteer. They need help running some dungeons with lower levels? Go help them. I *still* volunteer for all of this, but sometimes I do step out for selfish reasons, like I wanna go farm Ultima, CT, DF for EX, try to learn a new event or even just BS and craft.

This is how my primary LS got to know me. When I first joined, I was invited to an LS and then free transfers opened and everyone active moved off. I ended up in a new LS full of people I didn't know. I'm the type that stays quiet when I don't know anyone, so in the beginning it was hard for me.


Just learn to speak up when people need help. Someone a new 50 and having a hard time getting a new weapon? Maybe you take them through a couple Ifrit HMs to get that weapon for a starter. There are many ways to put yourself out there. I don't know what kind of FC you've joined if it's all high level content only or spread out/casual, just throwing out ideas.

Usually people that have been in a group since the start have this exclusive mentality. I find it to be worse with FC's that use 3rd party voice chat. Unless of course you join them in it.

Someone above said shop around for an FC. As tedious as this may seem, it's probably one of the only real options at this point next to making your own. I would post inquiring about groups that look interesting to you on reddit ffxiv recruitment, or here and ask a few questions before you join. most of the time, you can tell a lot from the responses of the member that replies.

This game is my first time playing a MMO game, and I was really nervous about this issue when I first started. I'm pretty shy IRL and I have a hard time making friends. I joined the first FC that invited me, then quickly found out that they invited literally everyone. I think they're the largest FC on my server and they have hundreds of members. I didn't fit in there. Not my scene. So I left and joined a very small FC. I made a few friends there, but it quickly died out as the founding members of that FC didn't really play the game anymore. The same 3 of us were the only ones online, so we set out to find a new FC. Now we're part of the BEST FC EVER. At least, it's great for me. The people are very friendly, helpful, and all around good people. They welcomed me when I joined, and I never really felt shy around them. Now I'm inviting new people and trying to include them in the fun.


Like others have said, make yourself noticed. Use the FC chat. Get to know your company mates. If they don't respond, then go out and find another FC. One of the newer members of my company said that he went through 4 other FC's in 3 weeks before he joined ours. Sometimes it takes a while to find a good fit. You have to be a Goldilocks about it - find the one that's just right!

This game is mostly played by the college crowd and high schoolers, and they tend to be cliquish.

These have continued to be quite interesting observations. :-) Thanks. Yeah I've been shopping around so to speak. Hopefully something will come of it.

Come join us! :)
Otherwise, I agree with the speak up and look around. Talk to the people before joining. We all joke around about anime, which works for us.
Volunteering what you can help with or need help for can help people relate in game. The rest is finding people you have other stuff to talk about.

I must admit that my experience in FFXIV:ARR LS and FCs is a bit different from what I've experienced on previous games.
Even with otherwise friendly people, the "say hello to signal your presence and to make yourself available to the group" doesn't seem to be the rule here (or I was just unlucky; I can only talk about 3 FCs and about 5 LS, on two different servers).



In any case my advice would be, as someone said, to "FC shop".

Though it's hard to guess wether a FC could be a good choice or not just from an ad when you are not experienced (and still when you are), there are a few things to watch out for:

A - Presentation of the FC: Read ads on forums and ingame FC description.
- What is the orientation of the FC as far as ingame activities are concerned? Are there any type of players they are looking for? How do they see themselves as a group? Do they emphasize fun? Mutual help? Engame? Progression? Dedication? Socialisation? etc..
Just because one aspect is emphasized doesn't mean it cannot have another, but what they show to the rest of the players gives you an idea of the kind of mindset they are interested in newcomers, and of their values.
- Do you fit the profile? (are you what they are looking for?) Do you think they might be they kind of group you'd feel comfortable with? (Are they what you are looking for?) Both are important.

B - Date of creation:
- If it's old, it's likely running smoothly and players are more likely to stick around. On the other hand, you run the risk of encountering a core group less inclined in opening up to newcomers (see section D too).
- Joining a brand new FC has its perks (being a core member right from the start), its drawbacks (depending on what you're looking for it can be a perk: a small/new FC needs a core group that is very active in order to get the machine starting, which demands more personnal "investment", effort and motivation), and its risks (if it doesn't "take off", it's likely to die quickly).
It boils down to the kind of player you are, how much of yourself you can/want to put into the game and into the relationships ingame.

C - Size : Same as with old/new FCs, size will impact your integration and socialisation.
- In a smaller FC, you'll more likely have an easier time to get to know and be known by the other members. On the other hand, you might have less people to interact with (and depending on how much you and other members play, you might end up not having people to play/chat with at times).
- A bigger FC is more likely to be more active, but you might feel lost in the crowd.
Again, depends on what kind of person you are, and how you want to manage your social interactions ingame.
Also, check the FC timezone (if there are any specific time when it's mostly active, or any dead time).

D - Recruitment: The recruitment process is everything for a FC. See how they recruit (or not) and you'll learn a lot about the FC itself. It might also give you indication of how you'll be integrated (or not) once you join.
- If the FC is actively recruiting, you're more likely to get a warmer welcome (ie: people were looking for new players to interact with, so your arrival will make a difference to them, they will want to interact with you).
- On the other hand, if "actively recruiting" only means "get as many people into the guild without thinking nor caring about said people", you run the risk of not receiving much attention when you join and might have a hard time to get to know the people (usually this also means the FC will have a large number of members, see section B).
A good indicator for this can be the size in relation to date of creation (if it's 3 days old and already has over 100 members it's likely the later, except in the case of multi-platform gaming communities where entire groups arrive on a server together).
- Another indicator is the recruitment process itself:
If you just saw an invite poping on your screen without even knowing who sent it to you nor having had any kind of contact with said FC, I personally don't look twice before declining. That means they don't care who they are inviting, and they most likely invite many people all at once.
If on the other hand you're asked to present yourself on a forum or to talk on a voip, or if you need aproval from certain member(s) or any other kind of "selection" (doesn't have to be very selective nor to refuse many or any people) then at least it shows the FC pays attention to who is joining them/want to know their new members. They are more likely to want you, and again, my experience is that it usually means a smoother integration.


All of the points above are generalities and vary from one FC to another. You might get a invite poping suddenly on your screen, and be lucky and end up with great people who you'll become fast friends with. Or not. You might join an old and large FC and get a very warm welcome.
Those are not strict rules (that goes without saying, but I'd rather say it anyway).



Once you joined:

As someone said, the key is to make yourself available and visible. That'll help the FC to get to know/recognise you.

A "Hello guys" and "Bye everyone" whenever you're logging in/off will let the others know when you're there.
Answering whenever someone asks something or offers something, even if it's not directed specifically at you (as long as it's not obviously directed at someone esle of course). Even if to say that you don't know. Even if to say that you're sorry but you don't have access to this dungeon yet so you cannot help. Even if to decline a general offer because you're logging off soon.
It's not only polite, it reminds them that they have a new member here, and that they can easily interact with you. They're more likely to think of inviting you next time they are doing something.

Try starting activities yourself. Personally, even when I was low/mid level, I was letting my FC know when I was queueing for a dungeon, just in case someone else was in the mood for a lower level dungeon, or wanted to level another class or whatever reason.
If you have more experience with the game, offer help (and advice if it's welcomed).

^ how did you get to post so much?! O_0


Anywho... Being the new person can be tough. The members who have been around a while have history with one another . Stick around and participate and you will too ^^ It just takes time, effort, and a little initiative on your part. Don't feel bad if everyone isn't "ZOMG HI!" Each group has their fav senior members who seem to garnish more attention for one reason or another (drama queens anyone?!). But if you find that you just don't like how the FC "feels", maybe it is time to look elsewhere.

When in the group, be the big brother/sister. Look for those FC members who (possibly like yourself) are having a little trouble fitting in. Invite them to go exp party or something. Go fishing together. Whatever! Have fun and socialize. That is what a MMORPG is all about ^_^b

in terms of FC size, tough call. Too large and you get lost in the pool. Too small and no one is ever on =/