I'm about to lose my mnd

I live in the US, however I'm currently deployed to I can't say where, but Southwest Asia. One of those crappy sandbox countries.

For the past two days I've been trying to add crysta onto my account so I can start playing again, yet

Every time I try to pay with a debit/credit card, error #401
When I try to update my payment method, error #601
I can't use ultimate pay because when i tried to register an account it keeps saying
system error, please try again.
I tried to buy an ultimate game card, nope still won't accept.
click and buy, nope my account just got blocked.

I've e-mailed everyone, My banks accounts aren't blocked.
And yet it had no problem when I actually bought the game from the SE store.

I don't know what to do, but I'm about ready to just say F it and stop trying.