permanent packet loss while playing

I have really good internet and never had issues playing any other game, but in ffxiv only I consistently have had terrible packet loss. It seems like the amount of lag I get scales with the amount of players, and occult crescent has been depressing with my ping reaching 20000. I've had really bad cases around 3 months ago having to cut the raid day early because it's unplayable, but nowadays it's just a constant annoyance giving me a delay on everything I do and preventing me from using optimal rotations (I can't double weave :/)

I've tried pretty much everything I could find online from users and support and the only thing that seems to work is a vpn, but I've yet to find a server that both has acceptable ping and skips the bad nodes, and I don't wanna have to subscribe to an additional thing just to play the game.

ISP is orange (france)
Issue occurs on both Chaos and Light DC

Good morning! Thank you for posting in the Final Fantasy XIV Technical Support Forums.

We apologize for any inconvenience experienced when trying to play Final Fantasy XIV. For us to better assist you, please respond with the following information:

Wired or WIFI connection?
Are you experiencing full disconnections as well?
When the disconnect occurs/How often?
Does the disconnection/packet loss happen to one character or multiple characters?
Is a VPN being used when this occurs as well?
Where in game specifically do you get disconnected?
Please confirm what ISP Is being used?
Error Message if game is crashing?


Thank you once again for visiting the Final Fantasy XIV Technical Support Forums!

mostly wired, same thing on wireless connection
have had a couple disconnections in the past but not recently
lag intensifies with player density/how many actions are happening from and other players nearby.
I only use one character
happens without a VPN, not much testing with a VPN so far
especially bad lag in packed areas/instances, can be anywhere in the game
orange in france
--

I said I have packet loss, but I never get disconnects. It's technically playable, and what I see other players/enemies do is pretty accurate to the truth, but pressing abilities is very laggy which feels bad and only becomes a bigger issue as I try to get into harder content.
At first I thought I just had absurdly high ping in this game for no reason (2000-14000 in packed areas) but I do not feel that much of a delay, and a tracert to neolobby06.ffxiv.com (chaos) confirmed that my ping was very low (<10-35), but a few nodes were dropping packets consistently. Another test I ran showed me that I had 100% packet loss to the ffxiv servers but I can't remember the command for that one.

Good morning adventurer and thank you for the reply!

Please try the following troubleshooting suggestions as it may help resolve the issue:

Open the control panel of the PC and go to ‘Network and Internet’. Once there select ‘Internet Options’
- Under the "General" tab, please delete ALL browser history.
- Under the "Security" tab, please move the slider to the lowest possible settings or no higher than "Medium"
- Under the "Privacy" tab, click “Advanced” and select ‘Accept’ under both First Party and Third Party Cookies.
- Under the "Advanced" tab, please make sure that "Allow software to run or install even if signature is invalid" is CHECKED.
- Make sure that all SSL and TLS (EXCEPT SSL 3.0) are CHECKED. [SSL 3.0 should be UNCHECKED]
- Hit "Apply" to save the settings, and then "OK, to close the Internet Options menu.
- Right-Click on the FFXIV launcher icon and select "Properties"
- Hit "Apply", then "OK" to save the changes.
- Please RESTART your PC now. Once your PC has been restarted, Right-Click the FFXIV launcher icon once more and select "Run as Administrator"
*Make sure your fire wall or antivirus program is not interfering with the game

Check to see if the following port ranges are opened on your router. You can contact your ISP and request they open them for you
▼TCP
54992 through 54994,
55006 through 55007,
55021 through 55040

- Try disabling background applications and do a clean boot by opening the task manager and selecting the “Start up” tab. Disable everything and then restart the PC.
- Lastly, we suggest to power cycle the console/device and router by shutting down the Router and leaving the power supply unplugged for 5-10 minutes.
 
- Flush DNS: Within the "Command Prompt" of the device, please type the command "ipconfig /flushdns".
- Reset TCP/IP: Also within the Command Prompt, type the command "netsh int ip reset" and then restart the computer.
- Change local DNS: Please try changing the local DNS server to 8.8.8.8 and 8.8.4.4
- Delete local files with corrupted character data, please note this will not delete the associated characters.

We hope we can be of assistance in helping you enjoy the exciting world of Final Fantasy XIV!