The Job Action Trailer 2.0 (DPS)

Did this for Shadowbringers, thought it would be fun to do it again. Was too tired to do it last night. Also given we got information right after, this is less speculation and more for funzies.

Dragoon
-Hippity hoppity, your HP is my property
-Huh there are two marks there.
-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
-Spike upgrade. Thingy filled.
-The tradition of getting Nidstinien actions continues.
-Stardiver doesn't quite hit the same does it? Still fun.
-He took off his helmet. For it blocked his vision. He dropped his shield, for its weight slowed him down. He grasped his spear and YEETED THAT INTO THE HORIZON

Red Mage
-Single target aoe rotation ah yiss.
-You get an aoe finisher now, stop @'ing us.
-VerMedica!
-Jolt 3!
-Same melee combo. Same finisher. Same scorch.
-GALICK GUN! FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEE!

Dancer
-You can dance if you want to. You can leave your partner behind.
-I'm blue, da ba dee ba da
-Dancing with myself, I'm dancin' with myself
-Yes I am going to try and do as many lyrics to songs about dancing here to describe the actions.
-You spin me right round, baby, right round.
-Now dance, phoenix, dance, they never had a chance.
-Hold me closer, Saber Dancer
-So do you remember? Dancing to the feathers?
-Show the world you can dance
-Feel the raid is breaking and hp bars are shaking, but you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

Machinist
-Anybody smell that?
-Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...f@%#.
-When the Doom music kicks in.
-Clean Shot was bait.
-Chains.
-SAW!
-Same ole same ole.
-Giga Drill Breaker.
-DETRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIT SMAAAASH

Bard
-45 second songs.
-That just means soldier paen gets sacc'd.
-Some sorta party buff gauge.
-Refulgent Arrow but it's a cone.
-You're playing a song now.
-Apex Arrow.
-ApexER Arrow.

Samurai
-Kono Meikyo Shisui Da!
-Oh boy, just what I always wanted. A Green Sen aoe combo!
-Justgonnafinishthispart up.
-Double Goken. Sure there is a reason for that.
-Third Eye still here, lol.
-Third Eye gives 10 Kenki. Stand in fire, DPS higher.
-KONO MEIKYO SHISUI DA!
-Double midare. Does it have charges now?
-Shoha was your favorite ability right, so here's the upgraded version.
-This enemy is stronger than any who I have fought before. I must devise a new approach with all my cunning and skill in order to outmaneuver this enemy.
-"WoL, you just have to hit it really, really hard."
-Oh right, this is an ANIME game.
-MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
-REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
-SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEt you get the idea.

Ninja
-Huton is for chumps.
-AoEJin.
-That aoe combo looked a littttttle bit different.
-Smackity smack smack.
-Kono Shadow Clone Jutsu da.
-Maybe...maybe Huton isn't for chumps?
-Expansion-ly reminder that Ninja gets a proper Lightning Bolt and Black Mages don't.
-Wait what.
-AW THIS IS SOME BULL SH-

Black Mage
-AND YOU FOLLOW RIGHT AFTER THAT.
-Maximum Overmad.
-Opening with Leylines, lul.
-Eno-Chan no longer needs you to verify their existence. Good for Eno-Chan.
-That's a new pip. What it do.
-Friendship ended with Fire 1.
-A new ice spell. I mean it's pretty cool, heh.
-The pip is back.
-Friendship still ended with Blizzard 1.
-Interesting. New Fire.
-Just gonna keep spammin' this.
-Customary triple cast flare to end it.
-And the polyglots because.
-I still wanted a lightning bolt.

Monk
-Oh boy can't wait to see how they ruin this.
-I'm sorry, what's this new thing here.
-UH I'M SORRY IT SEEMS RELATED TO PERFECT BALANCE
-I'M SORRY THAT LOOKED LIKE FIRE DANCE
-Lol stop trying to make SSS a thing.
-"HOW DO YOU KEEP POPPING IN AND OUT OF REALITY"
-Oh that's just my instant transmission.
-"And let me guess, you stole that technique too."
-NO!
-*Goku stares at WoL while being stared at by aliens*
-Yes.
-IT IS PERFECT BALANCE
-IT IS BLITZ
-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Summoner
-Man, I WOULD HATE TO FOLLOW THE MONK IN THIS VIDEO
-That's an interesting gauge.
-Same ole same old. Do something new.
-EXCUSE ME THAT'S ILLEGAL
-What sort of fever dream is this. The rotating Egi Trance got taken seriously.
-BALALALALAAL
-BALALALALALA
-BALALALALLA
-TITAN
-CLAPPIN' THEM ROCKS
-Look at me. I am the Monk now.
-Man I don't even care about you Pheonix.
-*looks at Scholar*
-*Awkwardly scratches head*
-Friendship ended with Monk

Reaper
-Man I would hate to follow the Summoner in this video.
-Do you wanna know how I got these scars?
-I cut myself on all this edge.
-If you listen closely enough, you can hear the disgruntled cries of every Gunbreaker on the forums.
-Press this button to build this resource to spend this resource to build that resource to spend this resource to build that resource to enter a limited time ability that utilizes resource to spend for another resource before ending the phase by not overusing your resource.
-Friendship ended with Summoner
-Now Avatar is my best friend.

Was this supposed to be funny? >_<

A thousand years from now, scholars will read this and contemplate its hidden wisdom.