I'd like an extra targeting icon.

Seems it would be simple enough to get. a second "focus target"

usually when i play I always have a targeting icon up so I dont get lost in the explosions and awesomeness.

the issue is the content requires different targets, in 4-man content, mainly dungeons i have the tank as my focus target so i can push my left stick and target what they target, it mostly works because it's rare that I lose myself in those instances.

but in 24-man content is my problem, i'd like to focus target my alliance tank so i can target-his-target but also point myself out so i dont get stomped in the fray.

I've tried markers but everyone can see those, unless i'm missing a setting somewhere.

What do your nameplate settings look like? Have you considered turning your nameplate on but others' off? Or setting your nameplate to full, but having other party members' as initials? Some modification to nameplate settings might help you keep track of yourself.

Also, distinct color might help.