My Catharsis in FFXIV

This video of 6 minutes and 30 seconds explained just about everything I've experienced from others in multiplayer games for years.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmEa-YAcFk8

I just wanted to play the game and have fun, not aim to be top in damage meters and be criticized when I don't push to squeeze out every bit of damage I can do. I just wanted to do stuff, but there was no way that I could in an environment full of people that demanded too much from me. Now that I have moved to a Japanese server, I don't have that problem anymore because the players are more understanding, not all of them, but there are far more of those who are concerned about others than not. In fact, now I have the problem of the opposite, there's too many things to do and not enough time to do them all, and I end up feeling overwhelmed if I don't focus on them one at a time.

Just lol if you think the Japanese players are judging you any less than your contemporaries.

1) People rarely critize anyone, let alone a tank, for not playing optimal in any content beside Savage/Ultimate (...and maaaybe the latest EX-Primal). You can play the better part of the game without having to squeeze out every last bit of damage.

2) For Savage-content: Obviously, people will expect you to do your best, push yourself and improve - all of those are things you should actually want for yourself in the first place. I dont expect people to be perfect, but I expect them to strife for perfection if they want to participate in true endgame-content. And I expect them to be competent on their job and its basic in all the content.

3) The best solution to escape the enviroment of people expecting "to much" would be to find a group of friends to enjoy the game with - people who share similar goals and mindsets. Who'd rather have fun raiding - and not so much with clearing the top tier within the first week. But thats only my humble opinion.

4) You'll soon find that while the japanese might not call you out to your face, you'll run into a different kind of trouble, specially with your mindset. From all that I've heard about japanese servers and their culture, with your attitude of "I dont wanna give my best and/or improve" you wont last long. Because they expect that as much as the western servers do. They might seem more patient, but thats most likely because the majority of them has the mindset of "If I'm not good enough to do this content, I wont hold my team back by joining in the first place."

If the japanese servers are more to your taste - grats! Its great that you've found your place within Eorzea, but I cant help to point out that regardless of the server you're playing on you should absolutly try your best, squeeze out that extra bit of damage, try to improve yourself, your gameplay, your understanding of your job and the content you're taking it to.
Its a matter of respect - on both sides.
Personally, I dont mind new people or people who are still learning - but I mind people who refuse to do that. I'm not saying that thats the case with you, but your OP sounds very much like you've given up to an extend with improving yourself and trying to meet the "demands" of the people you met through DF. And quite frankly: That baffles me a bit... because usually those demands arent high. Usually people dont care what the rest of their group does in a normal dungeon. As long as some basic standards are met. Just wanting to do stuff doesnt work when you're playing with other people - you also need to do that stuff right and to an extend you need to know how to do that right before hand. If you end up with "toxic groups" or groups demanding "to much", you might need to take a look at your job and your skills again and spend some time learning those before you jump back into group-content - regardless of your server, its the right thing to do: Going into content prepared. And if you dont feel you are yet - or even more so: if you're clearly not - then you should improve before you join a group, specially a group of strangers.

...also... can I ask why you put your info on a specific magic-crystal-ball-website that may or may not tell people how well you are performing on your Lodestone-page for everyone to see if you're feeling judged by people? Is this just some trolling or clickbait for that video?

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Originally Posted by Vidu

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I was just going to agree to this whole post and drop a like, as it is full of truth and well written.
But this last bit at the end made it pure gold.

This isn't a single player game

I wish I could bring myself to have fun on other people's expense as well.

You are either trolling or extremely lazy.

Well this guy gonna go around the JP server blacklists for groups. Yes they have those, unlike NA/EU.

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Originally Posted by Vidu

4) You'll soon find that while the japanese might not call you out to your face, you'll run into a different kind of trouble, specially with your mindset. From all that I've heard about japanese servers and their culture, with your attitude of "I dont wanna give my best and/or improve" you wont last long. Because they expect that as much as the western servers do. They might seem more patient, but thats most likely because the majority of them has the mindset of "If I'm not good enough to do this content, I wont hold my team back by joining in the first place."

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Another thing to consider when you’re on a JP server: you had better learn their language or have a basic understanding of it if you are looking to join learning/practice groups for higher-level content (Extremes or Savages), because a lot of JP groups do not want players in them that do not speak their language. “JP Only” is fairly prevalent in parties on the JP Data Centers from what I understand.

While their culture may be more “inclusive”, they are group oriented—they value teamwork. If you aren’t going to be a team player — i.e., if you are just going to skate along doing the bare minimum and not try to perform your job/role to an adequate standard for the content you are in — they will silently remove you. Unlike NA/EU, they have websites with player names for the sole purpose of blacklisting them.

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Originally Posted by HyoMinPark

While their culture may be more “inclusive”

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There are many wonderful things about the Japanese culture - IRL and online.
'Inclusive' is not something that would be top of my list of adjectives where non-Japanese (or at the very least having a very workable knowledge of the language) are concerned.

As you imply - the if the OP is struggling to acclimate their native server - I can't see how they will fair any better on a JP one - if tackling any sort organized group content.