first time tanking in this game..have some questions

So i was at level 30 when i started tanking with a paladin and its been going well. the gear i bought from a vendor and then again at 35 picking up dungeon pieces as i go..i am currently level 39.

I use sword oath but feel bad that it seems like im still getting hurt a lot and that the healer has to work extra hard to keep me up. I have 3 buffs to mitigate damage right now but i dont know if im using them at the right time.

Would food help? would taking up alchemy help?

Tanking seems pretty fun..dungeons seem to go a lot faster..should i over level some of these dungeons to get more tank pieces? or should i sub spots with vendor gear or cheap market board stuff, because i honestly i dont want to spend a 100k every 5 levels and then forget to sell back the gear. Im lazy like that..but is that my only option?

squadrons..what setup is best to go with..right now i have a healer and 2 archers but how do i know where to do training for stats?

any tips would be helpful?

Use shield oath until you learn when its safe to use sword oath. The combination of your low level, lower level gear and not using your tank stance is whats making you squishy.

Food is good for a slight buff but its not going to make a huge difference while leveling. if you can find some cheap, then go for it but otherwise don't worry about it until you get to 70.

HQ gear is usually better than dungeon gear for gear thats at your level and as you've noticed you'll be changing it out often so don't spend too much on gear. In general if your gear is within 5 levels of you then you don't need to replace it, at 6-8 levels difference you'll notice a bit more squishiness, and more than that you'll be making your healer hate you when you're in dungeons at your level. If you're in NQ gear you'll notice the difference much faster.

Until Lv46 for Total Eclipse, don't bother doing high damage on packs as a Paladin. Your AOE damage is non-existent to that point, so stick to Shield Oath for packs and use Sword Oath preferably for bosses after you established initial aggro (1-2x full enmity combo in shield oath). About cooldown management, don't worry too much now. Until Lv40+ where you get more cross-role slots and Bulwark + Sentinel, you basically only have Rampart to use. Anticipation is fine, but early-on you may want to help them on AOE pulls by activating Convalescence to boost heals - particularly good if your Healer is not exactly the master of his craft.

Regarding gear, even vendor gear is fine as long as you STRICTLY stick to what is actual tank gear (labels: GLA PLD MRD WAR DRK, if it has LNC DRG it is NOT tank gear) and keep it updated pre-50. After 50 you have many options for gear and you get some along the way as well.

I'm never played PLD, but my main is WAR. I wouldn't worry about stance dancing in and out of sword oath and shield oath until you're more comfortable and familiar with the ins and outs of tanking. Even then, your best bet during normal trash is to keep your tank stance (shield oath) up so you're not as squishy and have an easier time holding aggro. I kinda cycle my defensive cds depending on the pull. Just don't use every single one of them at once because you don't want to go into another pull with no defensive cds available or have that pull last longer than expected and find yourself with no cds while all the dudes nom at your face.

When you reach 41, you can grind stone vigil w/ your squadron for gear, which will probably last you until you can get ironworks - or alternatively, just keep using the vendors. tbh, either option is fine.

When in doubt, use shield oath. It's the same as having rampart on 24/7 for free and basically doubles the amount of enmity you generate. It will really soften up your gear deficit to just play it safe in tank stance.

As for gear, find whatever is cheapest but focus on left side. Right side only increases your HP. Left side increases HP, damage, and defense. If you can only keep 1 item up to date, make it your weapon. Weapon damage will have the most impact on your damage and enmity. (also you mentioned selling back gear when your done. As soon as you kill a monster wearing your gear it becomes 'unsellable' on the market board. You can only sell it to NPC shops for piddly amounts of gil.)

I do hate the 30-45 level range. It likes to mix in full body armour that locks head gear or foot gear, and that makes it hard to tell when to upgrade it.

But I agree with everyone else: out of all jobs, you're the class that will notice an ilevel deficiency the most.

It's pretty crazy to pull multi packs on sword/deliverance stance...
Other than that, I never found gearing up a real problem at low level. You burn through the first 50 levels relatively quick, and if you're on a leveling rush to 50 as a tank, you won't keep your gear for more than a couple hours. Honestly, under lvl 50, unless you have serious trouble with aggro or mitigation, gear doesn't really matter. It is a waste of gils to invest a lot in that before hitting 50.
50-55 : you can easily do it with ironworks gear (priority on weapon, then body and legs)
60-65 : shire gear will do

As for 55-60 and 65-70, you could farm aery and bardam a little, like get 3-4 pieces of body armor, which should be enough till you reach lvl 60 or 70.
It can become really tense in those particular dungeons if the tank isnt geared enough.

Until level 50 I would just use the vendors to fill in any holes in your current gear score. At level 50 you will get a set of ilvl 90 left side gear by completing your first class quest.You get a piece of useful left side gear by completing the dungeons in Stormblood and there are also numerous chest in each one so gearing up 61+ won't even be an issue.

If you are doing dungeons of your current level do not give in to people who ask you to do big pulls. One pack at a time is fine for leveling dungeons. I see tanks over-pulling dungeons all the time because they feel pressured to pull like someone who outgears it and is synced.

In leveling dungeons keeping threat, using your cooldowns on boss abilities and packs of trash, and following mechanics are the most important things right after fun.

Just stay in shield oath when you're tanking trash. When you're fighting a boss, stay in shield oath long enough to get a few threat combos in and generate massive threat, then switch to Sword oath and dps for the rest of the fight. Nothing to it.

It boils down to this: use shield oath for trash. Don't bother using sword oath because they'll be dead before you know it. I would actually advise to learn to pull bosses in shield oath and switch to sword oath after you've established some threat. You don't really need to to clear any content but if you so happen to join a static later on you will be expected to tank in sword oath. Yes you take a bit more damage but a healer should be able to heal you up just fine.
You need to look at shield oath as another tank cool down that you can use whenever you want to (if you have the mana) If a dps takes a bit to much damage because he failed to dodge a mechanic or if your healer is getting low on mana or something switching to shield oath might help relieve some stress from the healer. If you're not sure if you'll survive a mechanic, pop shield oath as an extra defense