Who are they, "in-game friends"?

I always thought that it's quite obvious: friends are friends, same for everyone. Though one conversation I had about a year ago made me pay closer attention at whom actually different people would call "friends" or "in-game friends".
I was going to run some dungeons with 2 guildies, one was online, another one was late. I knew (or so I thought) that these two guys are close friends, from the same town, they have each other in Skype and always play together and chat a lot when playing. So I asked the one who was online: "Do you know why X is late?" He said: "No, I don't". We were just waiting so I continued: "Is he alright? I know he was fired from work recently and so he's not in the best moods? You are good friends so he definitely told you something" And he answered: "I so don't care! We are friends in game only. I run content with him because he's a good tank but IRL? He can burn to crisps, I wouldn't care..."

I was pretty much shocked and started to think whom actually people are calling their friends in game - what meaning they put to the word?

For me friends are people with whom I have a lot in common, like to spend time together, chatting or doing something that all of us like. It would include both in- and out of game and only these people will stay on my friends list in game or Discord.

Those people with whom I'd tag together for the certain activities only (like raiding for example) I'd rather call "co-workers". It's not the exact word but the definition would hold: they are people you have to work/play with to achieve your goals, you can engage into some light conversations with them here and there but in the end of the day, it wouldn't come beyond that.
I can see all these people in my FC char or my raiding Discord channel but I'd not add them to my friends list.

My friends list in game was always consistent of only the first type of people I described - those I call friends.
I believe that FC leaders, raid leaders, streamers, etc. have to use the in-game friend list for "co-workers" as well.

I see though that every couple of months some new "Add more slots to friend list/blacklist" thread would pop up.
In the same time I encountered a lot of people in game and on forums complaining that they don't have friends, keep it to themselves, etc.
Sometimes they are the same people posting over time in both threads.

So, who are those 200 people that you've add to the list? Friends? Co-workers? Every tank/healer that wasn't awful in DR? Every person you add during last 5 years even that you can't recall who they are now?

Share your insight please :)

Personally I would say I have a grand total of 20 "friends" in real life. Friends are the people I would trust with 90% of anything in my life. These are the people I keep in touch with, people I care about and want to see them healthy and happy. Keep in mind, I work in a profession where I see the worst and best of people at their lowest and highest points in their life. So it affects how I see the world quite a bit.

In game? I would say I have well over 100 in game friends. Most if not all are in my FC, I consider in game friends as those I can feel comfortable with sharing my gaming experience with. These are people that I might talk to outside of the game, but would I trust them with personal things? Probably not. Would I be devastated if they died or got hurt? maybe, but it would not affect me on a personal level.

My friends are my friends. :D Never understood the whole "I have online friends but no real friends." thing. Kinda weird.

That person who said that behind someone elses' back is trash. At least have the gall to say that to his face.

In FFXIV there is no one beyond my BF with whom I can speak with earnestly and plainly. A true friend, whether they be online or irl is someone you can speak about anything with. If you ever need to mince words, can you really think of that person as a friend?

I don’t really do online friends tbh. The idea of actually trusting and getting close to someone who only exists in my life as an avatar just makes me uncomfortable. So any people that wind up on friends lists in games would fall under what you’d call the “co-worker” category. I only feel comfortable taking about game related stuff or some light chit chat/banter with online people, but nothing serious and definitely nothing personal.

That said, the whole don’t care could burn to crisps seems a bit harsh. I don’t feel like that about people, I just keep online very separate from real life.

I would probably accept any friend request as long as it didn't seem like one of those RMT scams. I don't really use my friend list for anything and am not really hung up on only having "true" friends on there.

Although I don't really have any close friends, so I don't have those different categories to put people into.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tempest222

I don’t really do online friends tbh. The idea of actually trusting and getting close to someone who only exists in my life as an avatar just makes me uncomfortable. So any people that wind up on friends lists in games would fall under what you’d call the “co-worker” category. I only feel comfortable taking about game related stuff or some light chit chat/banter with online people, but nothing serious and definitely nothing personal.

---

I understand your concerns but I like to role play in-game and try to keep personnel stuff out. In a role play life friends can be very close just like real life friends. I got close to a girl and we plan on getting married .. that's in game .. we did the marriage tour the world quest but haven't set a date. no we don't erp if you are wondering we just play the game and enjoy .....

90% of people who add me to friend list never pm me ever again. Why they are even there.

Well honestly, that person seems like a douche. My friends are my friends, in-game, out-game it doesn't matter.

I spend more time talking to my friends in game via discord than I do with my friends in real life. We are actually having an FC meet up in May next year in London.