FFXIV Launcher Error - Persistant, and unfixed

There is something terribly wrong with the updater that the launcher gives us.

Just look up the Error Codes 30413, 25008, 20495, and 20495. I don't know what those error codes are, but it always returns: Unable to download patch files.

This has been a problem on my end, as well as many others.

I've tried everything possible.

Here's the list of things I've tried:
Stopping all background processes that are capable of being stopped
Reinstalling the software (Causes even more of this to happen when installing the whole thing)
Removing all malware, adware, spyware, viruses (if any), etc.
System Restore
Cleaning windows 10 pro and reinstalling it
temporary Firewall removal and adding firewall exceptions
Adding exceptions and Port Forwarding to the router.
Using another DNS server for both router and computer.
Stopping all antivirus programs
Contacting my ISP provider (who says they can reach Square Enix's final fantasy servers)
Contacting Customer Support (Who says it's my fault, that my ISP is not allowing me to download patches)
Booting in safe mode.

Is there anything else I can do? Perhaps it's because 4.11 was just released today, and everyone's updating/playing... I don't know. I have an appointment with three friends for POTD today at 6:00 PM (Dirtypal Sellers, Bradvaan Sellers, and Am, if you are reading this, I appologize, but I've tried everything I can), and for the life of me, I can;t even get the darn thing downloaded, let alone contact them to tell them I may not be able to participate today.

What can I do?