When to play it safe and when not to

So I switched to tanking, a while back now I would say thats my main job. I guess Im here to ask other tanks a question. So pretty much I believe every dungeon in this game can be big pulled. But lately Im not sure if its because the content is new or what exactly seems the healers Ive ran into are such a mixed bag.

Now Im not even sure what to do exactly in how I like to pull in a dungeon mainly the new ones. So the level 61 and 63 dungeon seem to always go pretty smooth and not to many wipes are anything like that. Even the pull after second boss in that room usaully always goes smooth on both tanks Ive leveled so far. Its when I got to Bardam's Mettle things started gettin intresting now I admit I tried to do the first pull on drk in shire gear and got rekted. That was my fault I had done it on pali but they have hg so its easier on drk I try not to use living cause I dont know if it will piss someone off. So I geared up to all 65 plus stuff and on my end I was good. But the pulls where hit and miss sometimes Id do that pull goes perfect, other times not so much. Same with the pull before second boss , the boss is super boring so pulling the birds and those other adds is much funner than the acutally mechanic only boss. Ive tried askin if healer is ok with big pulls, and for the most part it works.

In doma castle same issue the first pull out the game sometimes goes perfectly sometimes it doesnt. And all the expert roulletes same issue in the story mood dungeon, my fav pull is pullin those two ape machines that hit like a truck. Its a very hit and miss pull, on pali I always pop hg for any large pulls then go into rotating other cool downs. So Im sorry for the rant, but Im wondering if anyone else is having these type runs some are perfect almost like a premade group and some you cant even pull more than three adds before the healer lets you die. Now Im very well aware that I could pull three adds at a time and probaly never have a wipe unless its on a boss but whats the fun in that really. So do other tanks play it safe at the start or go all out see what happens then play it safe with the pulls.

For leveling dungeons / EX roulette I just double pull. I make sure to talk to the healer first and make sure they're okay with it. I leave Grit on for the trash pulls, rotate through cooldowns. For bosses, I'll do a DAPS and PS combo in Grit with BP rolling, then switch Grit off and stay there the rest of the fight, rotating CDs and TBN. Granted, you don't have TBN right now, but BP > DAAD > Quietus > DAAD > AD spam or something similar (make sure your mana doesn't get too low) should help with self-healing and help your healer stay comfortable.

Living Dead is kinda shit. 9/10 times the healer will heal you before you get Walking Dead, and the other 1/10 you'll die anyway because you just pulled way tf too big for the healer to handle to begin with.

My rule is simple: if I end up dying and my healer wasn't SPAMMING me with heals, that's honestly their freakin' fault. Like no, I get that they might want to do "other stuff" aside from healing, but when you're doing big pulls your NUMBER 1 PRIORITY should be to make sure the tank doesn't die. And if that means spamming heal after heal after heal and use cooldowns to get heals in faster and putting down defensive stuff, then so be it! Or we can just wipe and go back from the start. Idiots.

Like I'm tired of killing the second boss in Ala Mhigo and pulling those two packs just before the big swarm of dogs, and healers not being able to keep up. I pop ALL my cooldowns and STILL, some healers don't keep up! Is it really so hard?!

Also you mentioned Bardan's Mettle. At the START OF THE DUNGEON, man... very first thing, I pull the two packs. Half of the time I have to Holmgang before healers start to step up their freakin' game.

Now I've yet to do a pull big enough that it ended up being "too much", but I'd say if even with the healer spamming heals on you, you still died, then you might have ended up pulling more than you should.

For expert dungeons i go ham with the first pull and if i see struggling healer or i die i take it easier with max 2 packs for each pull, a lot of casters are afraid of using lb on trash as well which makes trash take longer, as ive geared up a bit now (and no stancedance penalty) ive starting going into dps stance for trash as well with rotating CDs heavy ones first lesser as things thin out
We're usually less geared for dungeons early expansion i feel, later on we will almost outgear the dungeons on release. and since its still early in SB a lot of players are still getting used to their new abilities and learning their jobs.

For lvling dungeons i play it safe because gear can be hugely different for players here, you can see someone in the last lvling dungeon for SB in 270 gear because they dont buy/craft it and been unlucky with drops, so i rather play it safe there with 1-2 packs.

Just gauge the healer when you join into content. Pull what you think is appropriate for your skills and their gear. If they keep up and there is slack, pull more. If you die bc you thought they could handle more, take it on the chin and apologize for pulling too much (even if its their fault). If a healer asks you to pull less, pull less - if they ask to pull more, pull more. Curse them under your breath for being bad/lazy/whatever but keep it out of the chat. If they are THAT awful vote kick and move on with the day.