This needs to stop!!!

What can I do to solve the enmity problems on my BLM? I have quelling and I use it and even wait about 5 seconds until the first enmity combo from tank is complete. I have tried not attacking when I pull hate and have been kicked because healers tell me to kick attacking, I havve also tried standing close where the tank can easily get hate back of I pull hate, I have tried not using enochian and just sticking with basic 2.x stuff, I even tried not using rs nut only eating food. I jave had some tanks leave when they get a blm/drg, blm/brd, blm/blm in party. I have never seen tank leave when I play smn. Please help, its really annoying and I feel like I'm running out of things to try.

Note: this happens even with tanks who have 240 weapon and gear, I've even pulled hate from tanks who use their dmg boosting abilities, ninja who use ss on me and then their other hate ability (do not know the name) on the tank. I really want to nip this in the bud. So any advice would be appreciated as its becoming annoying.

If there are not multiple targets for you to tab around, then

If you are using Quelling Strikes at a point where it covers your heavier attacks
and the tank is geared
and you're still pulling the thing off the tank
then the tank is doing something terribly wrong.

If the tank leaves or the party kicks you, rejoice in not having to spend the rest of the run figuring out how to do your job without doing your job.

Assuming all the things above are true, there's not much you can do besides evaluate what the tank is doing wrong and then tell him how to correct it. Any other adjustments you make fall under the category of bandaiding the problem by not doing your job.

Do you single target and focus only on one enemy on large pulls? If not, then don't worry about it. Tanks are just being bad/lazy.

If the is big pull then I will start with f2. If songle taget then I will start with f1. Its gotten to the point to where I don't even bother with f3 start anymore. I think you both have a point. I used to always think its me. I still do to some degree. I'm a fan of going all out but I want to at least be able to enjoy the dungeon. Its now only about getting into the dungeon on my BLM instead playing healer/tank.

I think you just have bad tanks. Played with some really high DPS people especially during the 3.3 Anima grind. Its non stop AOE's and quick aggro loss to BLM, but I still maintained control. Maintaining aggro is no problem.

If you're using Quelling and stuff correctly then either the tank is trash or just really undergeared. I find this happens a lot on my DRG too, many tanks just aren't used to doom spike spam on big pulls.

Never seen a BLM who can pull aggro from a equally geared tank under QS.
Unless he/she nukes before tank can even touch the mobs.

I usually wait about 15 seconds till i start bombing esp in maxed out content, Ive also tanked for parties where the blm was using single target in big pulls and ripped hate, this may not be your case though. I'm pretty sure any number of statics would want you on them if youre just ripping hate like its paper to geared tanks

edit: Out of curiosity are you using a maxed out relic with optimal stats?

I tend to keep Quelling strikes, manawall and manaward on quick access

If I grab hate from a single mob while burning a group (this happens alot to me) I tend to pop manawall and just burn the mob i have hate on down