Weapon ideas for fun

I find the weapons we have available generally quite bland, each with different mix of secondary stats, with usually one and only one standing out as the best. I'd like to see a few more interesting choices amongst weapons, without either standing out as strictly "better" than the others.

Maybe a weapon with a sliding scale of secondary stats (ie you can increase what stats you want at the cost of the other stats, not necessarily 1:1). This could appeal to melee classes that want to achieve a certain value of SkS, or just be fun to try out different builds.

I main BLM, so I'll stick to some examples about that. This thread is really just a bit of fun, that might make weapons more interesting. It's not about making greatly OP weapons, NOR ones which would be clearly superior to the others. I've read many times that SE are concerned about creating things where groups would exclude anyone that didn't have that particular item, tho I've never actually seen any group insist someone have something or GTFO. Maybe this is because that mindset actually doesn't exist, or maybe it is because the weapons we have currently are so bland, no-one cares.

Anyway, on to the ideas. They are all based around things proccing at a low %, which obviously could never be relied upon, the thought process being because they are unreliable, no one would insist you had a particular weapon, but whenever its ability did come into play it would be fun.

1. Weapon which had a "chain lightning" effect, where each thunder proc has a 20% (?) chance of chaining thunder to all enemies on the aggro list.

2. Weapon which had a 1% chance of each cast of a fire spell granting you both Astral Fire III and Unmbral Ice III for 30 seconds, with the benefit of both (MP regen, ability to cast Fire IV/Blizzard IV, increased damage to fire spells, etc). Guess under this you would just continually cast Fire IV til enoch timer was bout to drop, then Bliz IV, and continue Fire IV.

3. Weapon with 1% chance of each fire spell granting you "Triple" buff, and your next cast hits three times.

Apparently SE are concerned about creating things such as these, in case one particular group "gets lucky" and might have a run where several of abilities like above could happen, and whilst I appreciate that, I think if they are avoiding that by having all weapons incredibly boring, it is a high price to pay.

Anyway, what fun abilities would you like to see on your weapons? :D

I'd honestly just like to see weapon speeds and weapon types have some actual gameplay differences.

To throw an idea out to remain on-topic though:
Flurry: weaponskills and spells have a chance to proc Flurry - <WS/Spell name>, which for one second changes that weaponskill or spell into an ability (oGCD), dealing an average of the original's effects and an auto-attack (DoTs will last for or extend duration based on the their total damage averaged with the auto-attack). This chance procs instantly, as the animation begins. Chance varies with weapon speed, decreases after proccing, and increases over time without procs, averaging to about one proc per X second, scaling with Speed. Icon looks like the duplicated skill's but with a wind-styled border and added tint.

It could be nice the weapon have some abilities, but I prefer passive abilities, or automatic effects, because we already have to deal with the job rotation (in my case, the BLM), so if there are random special effects to deal with during the rotation, it could become a nightmare.

You know, as a SCH/SMN I would be happy just to have a book that isn't on the same exact page when opened as all my other books, ever. I don't know, but maybe it's time to turn to page 3 or something? >_>;

I would like such special abilities on weapons and accessoires. The value of accessoires is such underwhelming and boring too.