Not sure what to do.

I love this game, but recently I feel like I want to delete my character and quit. My issue is that I feel like I suck so badly at endgame and when I do attempt it, I feel constant pressure to not be terrible so that I don't have to deal with people yelling at me, ridiculing me, or excluding me from fights. However, I'm much more critical of my mistakes, especially if it's a mistake on a fight I should already know by heart. Commendations are another nightmare. I try to play my best and getting commended for it affirms that I did well, so it bugs me a lot when I give it my all and don't get recognized for it. That said, I know that there are others who try equally as hard and commendations are limited. Still, trying to do a lot of the endgame stuff and carrying my weight makes me very anxious, and I can't stop thinking of myself as a worthless excuse for a black mage when I mess up. Has anyone else dealt with similar feelings?

The solution is simply to find a friendly Linkshell and/or FC and learn endgame with them.

Git Gud
:P

Makes sense. It's why I left my old FC. My new FC is nice and welcoming, but a lot of them are very skilled at endgame. I did Bismarck EX with them last night and embarrassed myself pretty badly once we hit the second half of the fight. They were still nice about it though (and might've just chalked it up to me being sleepy.)

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Git Gud
:P

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Somehow, this actually made me smile. Thanks. :P

Are you playing too much? Playing too much can cause slower reaction sometimes.

One way to keep the interests of a game is to not play it too much.

Finding other things to do and taking breaks helps.

As a tank, I'm usually the centerpiece of any and all screwups. Most of which end up not being my fault!
Anyone who mains a tank and has played with people they don't know, or even those that play with friends, I'm sure would tell you that DPS generally have the most lenient roles in the game.
If anything, use the criticism, even if mean spirited, to better yourself. I wouldn't be the tank I would be today if it weren't for the enmity we generate from our peers.

Commendations are a joke, don't even pay attention to them.
It automatically goes to tank/healer a lot of the time
And people too lazy to commend anyone unless you done something very impressive and just exit once they get the 5 they needed for challenge log (I'm guilty of this)

PUGs/PF/DF tend to be more hostile than FC/Friends so expect it.
If your FC is really mean, find a new one.
But do understand, people do get frustrated wiping over and over again especially same mistakes, when they have the raid/primal on farm and is just there to teach new people.

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Originally Posted by Canadane

As a tank, I'm usually the centerpiece of any and all screwups. Most of which end up not being my fault!

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I am pretty sure this game is very fair when it comes to making sure it is not ALL the tank's fault. There are plenty of different check, on healer or tank, but a lot of endgame content is DPS check, DPS need to kill adds, DPS need to deal with mechanic, DPS need to click something, DPS need to avoid AOE and watch the tether, and go run between orbs so healer not getting hit. DPS has a lot to do, but derp dadidumb DPS think it is so easy to play DPS, ignore all the mechanic, can't dodge anything, random buttons masher, and failing the raid over and over cuz their DPS is far too low. Somehow it is the tank and healer's fault... amazing.

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Originally Posted by Zahbi

My issue is that I feel like I suck so badly at endgame and when I do attempt it, I feel constant pressure to not be terrible so that I don't have to deal with people yelling at me, ridiculing me, or excluding me from fights.

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Honestly, this is just a thing that everyone has to either deal with or leave because of it. Not everyone is good at this game and it sucks when getting stuck in a DF where people just cannot push the right buttons to do something properly. It can be for DPS who can't make dps checks or healers who just can't heal when the mechanics and the demands are high. If you don't actually wanna do endgame though, you don't have to. I have people in my FC who are still at mostly crafters and like to frollick all day as a botanist. Their gear is meh and their actual ability is meh but the love they have for the game and for us as FC mates is so amazing that we could never ask for more.

Do what you wanna do. If becoming better isn't an option (as some people just are bad at video games), then just play as you please.

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Originally Posted by Zahbi

Commendations are another nightmare. I try to play my best and getting commended for it affirms that I did well, so it bugs me a lot when I give it my all and don't get recognized for it. That said, I know that there are others who try equally as hard and commendations are limited.

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I play as every class. I play as every class pretty well. I have a lot of commendations and my healer especially frequently gets 5-6 per trial. I'm not bragging. It's just a matter of jobs and how someone can play and if they can be recognized. That being said...
Do not acknowledge that commendations exist.

There have been times that I thought I was single-handedly with a tank carrying an entire run. There were times that a tank and I finished runs for people on our last legs and got congratulations and parties and whatnot for our achievement. And when we left, no commendations.
When you do great, you never get commended and when you're subpar or just the right job, you'll get them.

Don't worry about them. Sometimes it's literally just someone looking at your gear and thinking that you're better than someone who can heal more. I've gotten commendations just because I was a Dreadwyrm T13 SCH but was literally watching Netflix while my healing WHM friend did everything.

Seriously, don't worry about commendations or what any people besides respected friends say to you in this game. You do you. Don't apologize for playing a game that you wanna enjoy.

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Originally Posted by Canadane

As a tank, I'm usually the centerpiece of any and all screwups. Most of which end up not being my fault!
Anyone who mains a tank and has played with people they don't know, or even those that play with friends, I'm sure would tell you that DPS generally have the most lenient roles in the game.
If anything, use the criticism, even if mean spirited, to better yourself. I wouldn't be the tank I would be today if it weren't for the enmity we generate from our peers.

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This is precisely why I don't tank. :P Having tried it a bit myself, you're absolutely right in that mess ups are much more noticeable when a tank is responsible (err, or sometimes even when they're not), because everyone usually dies. Oddly enough, I have an easier time playing healers (somewhat) even though the consequences are the same. But yeah, the essential problem is that mean criticism hurts so much that I damn near drive myself nuts trying to be awesome in order to avoid it.

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Originally Posted by EdwinLi

Are you playing too much? Playing too much can cause slower reaction sometimes.

One way to keep the interests of a game is to not play it too much.

Finding other things to do and taking breaks helps.

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That's a good point. Outside of schoolwork, I do spend a ridiculous amount of time on the game. It's something I've always had an issue with, so maybe I can work on that.

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Originally Posted by Chihaya

Commendations are a joke, don't even pay attention to them.
It automatically goes to tank/healer a lot of the time
And people too lazy to commend anyone unless you done something very impressive and just exit once they get the 5 they needed for challenge log (I'm guilty of this)

PUGs/PF/DF tend to be more hostile than FC/Friends so expect it.
If your FC is really mean, find a new one.
But do understand, people do get frustrated wiping over and over again especially same mistakes, when they have the raid/primal on farm and is just there to teach new people.

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That's another good point, too. I think this was especially prevalent once people had to farm dungeons and primals for their Zodiac weapons. It's understandable, but I guess it's easy for me to forget about that when I'm feeling frustrated. And it's true, PUGs tend to be more hostile, which is why I joined a new FC. They're not mean, but they are definitely more skilled than I am. It's probably more of a matter of me being intimidated (not to mention slow to open up.) I understand the frustration of wiping over and over all too well, which is why I try to do my best (and will likely lose patience with myself far sooner than anyone would lose patience with me.)

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Originally Posted by Ophie-Mio

Honestly, this is just a thing that everyone has to either deal with or leave because of it. Not everyone is good at this game and it sucks when getting stuck in a DF where people just cannot push the right buttons to do something properly. It can be for DPS who can't make dps checks or healers who just can't heal when the mechanics and the demands are high. If you don't actually wanna do endgame though, you don't have to. I have people in my FC who are still at mostly crafters and like to frollick all day as a botanist. Their gear is meh and their actual ability is meh but the love they have for the game and for us as FC mates is so amazing that we could never ask for more.

Do what you wanna do. If becoming better isn't an option (as some people just are bad at video games), then just play as you please.



I play as every class. I play as every class pretty well. I have a lot of commendations and my healer especially frequently gets 5-6 per trial. I'm not bragging. It's just a matter of jobs and how someone can play and if they can be recognized. That being said...
Do not acknowledge that commendations exist.

There have been times that I thought I was single-handedly with a tank carrying an entire run. There were times that a tank and I finished runs for people on our last legs and got congratulations and parties and whatnot for our achievement. And when we left, no commendations.
When you do great, you never get commended and when you're subpar or just the right job, you'll get them.

Don't worry about them. Sometimes it's literally just someone looking at your gear and thinking that you're better than someone who can heal more. I've gotten commendations just because I was a Dreadwyrm T13 SCH but was literally watching Netflix while my healing WHM friend did everything.

Seriously, don't worry about commendations or what any people besides respected friends say to you in this game. You do you. Don't apologize for playing a game that you wanna enjoy.

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I envy the people who are satisfied with just crafting or gathering. I enjoy gathering myself, but I just can't stay away from endgame. I really do want to participate in those epic battles (that may not be so epic after your 10th time doing them, but still). I really do want to have the satisfaction of having beaten some of the hardest content in the game. However, I don't want to hold others back and make them resent me. I also don't want to keep attempting only to fail and fail and fail while others get farther and farther ahead. So if this is what I truly want, I guess I need to not let the setbacks bother me as much and just work harder at getting better, yeah? As for the commendations, yeah it sounds like it's a much better idea to just pretend they're not there. In all honesty, they don't really do anything important. And I think my perspective of "if I don't get commendations, that means I was bad" seems to be completely wrong.

Thank you all for the kind advice, by the way. :)