I was talking about your fairy not dpsing.
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From what I get from these thread from start (of other threads also) to current is people complained that healers didn't dps they were lazy if they didn't dps so I do see less people against it and more healers dpsing but it just seems now that people still want them to pump out even more dps cause what they doing it not good enough. I may be wrong and just viewing it differently.
The way I view it is that you are all a team and have a goal, your primary role is to heal but you are given DPS capabilities. A DPS's primary role is to DPS but is given support capabilities etc. Everyone should do what they can to complete their goal as effectively as possible. If your goal is to kill a boss, DPSing the boss helps - so do it.
The only reason players view healers who don't DPS as lazy is because healing in this game is very lightly tuned - resulting in non-DPSing healers to stand idle and do nothing. My pet, as you mentioned, can solo heal trash and bosses almost fully in expert dungeons. My pet has roughly 200 potency heals and is upped to 280 for 20s every minute. That's on average about 225 potency heals every 3 seconds. Regen, conversely, will do 150 potency every 3 seconds - except when Divine Sealed which bumps that to 195 for 15s - so 160 potency every 3 seconds. While less, that still means that regen alone should keep your tank alive - with only minimal needs to pop out of cleric and cast a cure. That means that over the course of a pull, you may cast 2-5 healing spells which works out to maybe 16% of the pull. That leaves 84% of the pull where you are doing nothing, but watching. That's a lot of time that you can get out some very significant DPS.
I evaluate: 1) how much damage the tank is taking, 2) how much my fairy can handle by herself, 3) how quickly mobs are dying. Unless the tank and/or dps are really bad I can pretty much stay in cleric stance for entire dungeons, maybe popping out of cleric to toss an adlo and a few lustrates for big pulls if rouse is not enough to keep the tank up (maybe Eos can handle them solo with buffs but I very rarely use her). Even on the new, slightly undergeared scholar I an playing on a different server, I am sure enough of my abilities to know where to dps, when to stop, and if I should mitigate or heal. Almost lv50 and the few deaths that happened in my dungeon runs were not from my own negligence, but their own stupidity (the derpagoon instinct to stand in bad...)
I'm not as comfortable playing whm and ast however so unless I want to go with a well-timed tetra/essential dignity I'll rarely let tanks drop below 30-50% on those two classes.