That, unfortunately, comes down to perception a lot of the time. There are of course plenty of things you can say to someone that are blatant attempts at gaslighting, overtly offensive, etc. (some of which have definitely been said by people on both sides of the issue, or literally any issue on the forums it seems like, no denying that), but sometimes you also get crossed wires due to how poorly written text on a screen conveys intent. There have unfortunately definitely been some posters that made their intent very... ahem.. clear.
The aforementioned crossed wires come into play with subjects like the one I posed a while back, which was whether or not Venat is guilty of omnicide. It is my personal position that who I am as an individual - my mind, my inner being - are the entirety of my existence. If these are removed, I am in fact dead. Whether or not the flesh and whatever supernatural ephemera that comprised my being are used to create a new life is irrelevant; I, as an entity, have ceased to be. Thus it is my perspective she in fact did something truly awful, albeit for reasons she believed were right. From my perspective, I don't even remotely understand how this thought process could be considered offensive or gaslighty, but I have received responses informing me that it very much is. This, again from my perspective, would in fact constitute gaslighting on the grounds that I've got people insinuating some rather unkind things based on an opinion I hold that was delivered without ill intent utilizing a word in the dictionary correctly. I am unbothered by their words, admittedly, but it does come off as trying to convince someone something they've done or said is (morally) wrong when it probably isn't.
Intent matters, but it doesn't always translate well.
