Retainer Ad-Venture Contest (EU) - Entry Thread

Today was no ordinary day for the little Lalafell Gekota! it was his grand finale before retirement! so he really wanted to bring back the finest of all treasures in Eorzea to his Mistress.
And that! he thought to himself would be the legendary sea monster called Goldfish resided in the deep lake of Mor Dhona.

He had bet everything on luck this day! but on his way to Mor Dhona he overheard some Fishers talking about some brand new fishing bait called "Gulp, lalafell flavour" working wonders in the lakes!
After hearing that he ran at max speed all the way left to Mor Dhona and went to the closest fishing shop..there he asked the shopkeeper for the Gulp bait, unfortunately it was priced in gil only, which Gekota didn't own.
Saddened Gekota left the shop, went to the lake with his fishing rod and jar of worms. after 35 minutes of fishing he had only caught a potato.
he was starting to loose hope. but then he got struck by the brightest idea! What if he used himself as the bait! he went to the closest fisherman he saw begging him for help!
The kind fisherman agreed and Gekota was stripped down into his underpants within the blink of an eye! went onto the hook and threw himself into the water. It was dark down there, full of seagrass and scary fishes. but that coudn't beat Gekota's Decision!
After a few minutes down there he noticed something shiny! coming towards him with rapid speed! it must've catch the scent of me he thought! And at this moment he started to regret his decision.. he started panicking. swimming all he could up towards the surface. but it was to late! AUCH he cried. the Goldfish had it's teeth stuck in his left buttock. The fisherman up on land felt something heavy and pulled upp the half beaten Lalafell and his new Throphy. The mission was a succes! Gekota thanked the fisherman with an enormous gratitude. and went happily home to his Mistress in the Lavaneder beds!

The end! :)

http://https://gyazo.com/5d6337cb2a4...596c2a27c472fc

In game name: Gekko Moriah
Server: Phoenix
Price: Scarf of Wondrous Wit

The Forgotten Knight Ishguard's fines tavern (if you don't mind the riff raff and curs from the Brume) where adventurers and retainers alike go for some R&R. A favoured patron is the infamous Getmethat a retainer for the mighty warrior of light Sirhc Xxoc.

The summoning bell rings. "Oh seven hells that must <hic> be lord Xxoc" she says. "Gibrillont, find a mage to keep my ale cool. She uses the aether current to return to the summoning bell. “Well if it isn’t <hic> my favorite client always a pleasure sir (pray tell he’s learned a few words since or last encounter)” Sirhc makes a few hand gestures and nods. “….I wont let you down sir” she replies then disappears.

“Mayhap I shouldn’t have drank so <hic> much, why do I always get the strong silent types…. Still he’s so dreamy” she mutters to herself as she stumbles back to the forgotten knight. 45 minutes pass when she remembers her quick venture. “Oh Thals balls <hic> if I don’t return with some kinda of loot Master Xxoc will bugger me with a broad sword” she exclaims to herself in panic. “Gibrillont I must away.”

With only 5 minutes to go she rushes to the fishmonger. “Ah Getmethat my best customer (I wonder what she does with all these fish) pray forgive me but we are sold out ”. As she believed it was all over she spots a malm kelp on the floor that another adventurer had discarded. “Praise Halone <hic> I’m saved”. Just in the nick of time she makes it back to the summoning bell. “Good news sir <hic> the venture was a success, this calls for a <hic> drink” (the victory fanfare plays)

Sirhc is left looking puzzled as to why he has paid someone to get him a leaf but was happy it wasn’t another fish.

http://http://ffxiv.consolegameswiki.com/wiki/Malm_Kelp

Character Name: Sirhc Xxoc
World Name: Excalibur
Choice: Scarf of Wondrous Wit
Retainer: Getmethat

Character Name: Naoh'ra Ourana
World: Cerberus
Prize Choice: Ahriman Choker

Today was the day! Naoh'ir was going to prove himself a master Fisher to his brother by catching the Scourge of the Lake, a king amongst fish. He prepared himself for the task ahead, took his best gear and rod and set out with enthusiasm. When he arrived he perched himself near the edge of the water, shaded from the harsh sun by the nearby orchard. He was about to start with some practice casts when suddenly-

*SPLASH*

-Looking up in shock, he saw the Scourge of the Lake leap from the water, jaw clamped down on a smaller fish, it's scales shimmering in the sunlight. It crashed back down into the water. Naoh'ir /panic

Character Name: Naoh'ra Ourana
World: Cerberus
Prize Choice: Ahriman Choker

Today was the day! Naoh'ir was going to prove himself a master Fisher to his brother by catching the Scourge of the Lake, a king amongst fish. He prepared himself for the task ahead, took his best gear and rod and set out with enthusiasm. When he arrived he perched himself near the edge of the water, shaded from the harsh sun by the nearby orchard. He was about to start with some practice casts when suddenly-

*SPLASH*

-Looking up in shock, he saw the Scourge of the Lake leap from the water, jaw clamped down on a smaller fish, it's scales shimmering in the sunlight. It crashed back down into the water. Naoh'ir panicked and tried to quickly cast his line but in the rush his back cast ended with his hook caught on a branch of the nearby tree..

*SNAP* *SPLASH*

..The Scourge had escaped.. The branch had snapped.. And Naoh'ir ended up in the lake..

He sighed and started to pack up his equipment. When reeling in the line, the branch that had snapped came with it. It had 4 beautiful lemons still on it...

Naoh'ir: "Well... when life gives you lemons..."

http://img2.finalfantasyxiv.com/acci...ff95298084.png

Name: Commander Makara
World: Admantoise
Prize: Ahrman choker

"I sent Grand'Nagus (Retainer) out for a woodland Exploration XIV and asked for him to bring me back something special means the last few attempted ventures he seemed to have just randomly been slacking up to the last 10mins of the duty and going around my neighbours stealing their furniture because he couldnt be bothered. I only found out this when a mob of my angry neighbours turned up at my door and demanded there stuff back. Grand'nagus came back after the venture with Fantasia and I had to sit down to have a talk about his behaviour and attitude. We discussed it and ofcourse being a lalafel he denied it and tried to use cute to distract me ofcourse it DID NOT work as i know lalafel are sneaky and underhanded, I warned him he needed to stop or I would have to terminate his employement, Grand'nagus grumbles and muttered and then finally apologised but by the time he had its was well after midnight and I turned in to go to bed due to having a very busy ahead of hidden node mining. During the night Gran'nagus snuck into my room and used the Fantasia on me.. The next morning I awoke to find everytrhing in my house seemed different and I couldnt figure out why everything was soooo big and high... I walked around my house looking for a stool to go check my mirror and to my shock and horror after peering into the mirror there was a lalafel staring back at me.. I ofcourse was like omg wth I jumped off my stool panicking and thats when i saw a note pinned to my front door reading "KEEP YOUR JOB AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR DAYS AS SNEAKY LALAFEL P.S. I STOLE YOUR MOOGLE MAILBOX"..... Needless to say I have learned my lesson never ever piss off a lalafel

A Story as disappointing as the things my retainer brings back.
By Deefunx Priss

“Why does this lemon have blood on it?”
Marketbro stared blankly at Deefunx, his lips moved to speak, but words faltered in his throat before they could come to pass. The Roegadyn that all but tripled the advancing Hyur’s mass shuffled his feet and broke his gaze. By all rights, he had made a great disservice to his master; sent on a 1 hour venture only to bring back a bloody bloodied lemon. His master pulled out a chair she had just received from one of her other retainers – Gillionaire, not a speck of blood on that, either. Placing herself deftly onto the chair, she held out a hand for Marketbro to speak.
“So you sent me out to get you some things, howe’er the papers you gave me were smudged with Goblin oil and the like. Ma’am. I made do with what I could read.” The boss nodded once.
“That explains the lemon.” She leaned forward, interested in where this story would proceed, and as she did, the greatsword she used to ‘protect’ Eorzea shimmered in the waning afternoon light. Marketbro gulped some air and continued onwards.
“I went to the Silver Bazaar first. Thought that I could sell some of those affects from Ramuh you wanted rid of. Play them up to be special gems to the dogs that sniff around the place. That’s when I saw her. That high-riding, smug faced whoreson.”
“Who?”
“Mirabel’s retainer. Mimi.”
“Isn’t that a… woman?”
“Aye, but when you’re as salt blasted and foul as such, I reckon whoreson can be applicable. Anyhow, she approached me as I was just about to close a sale on one of those big purple gemstones.” He spat to the ground. “Tried to undercut me right there. Right at me own stand.”
“And then?”
“Wells, I told her to bugger off. So she did.”
Deefunx’s jaw dropped. “That’s it?”
“Yer. Really upset me for the day though.”
The Hyur sat in her chair. She was stunned. She expected something good. A fight. A swearing match that could rival things heard at Buscaron’s. Anything. There was nothing. Blast it all to Azys Lla. Why were retainers such simple people.
“That can’t be it. Why does the lemon have blood on it.”
“Boss, don’t end the story on a sour note.”


Name: Deefunx Priss
World: Phoenix
Prize: Scarf of Wit

I am Claudstrype, a full-pledged retainer monk to my beloved Mistress. Serving her is bliss, however, I have found myself in panic whenever I am summoned lately. I had not been able to retrieve anything of much value during my recent explorations. Perhaps it is due to the heavy competition or just bad luck, but I hope my Mistress will not tire of my incompetence.

With this thought in mind, I set forth to Mor Dhona and arrived at the doorsteps of Emperor Xande where I was greeted by Sir Glasya Labolas.
"Oi, Strype! Been a while since you came around."
"Yes, Sir Glasya. My Mistress has been preoccupied lately...and short of venture coins for funding."
"Ah, I see. Sounds like you have been having it tough, too..."
"Something seems to be bothering you, Sir. It is rare for one to see you down here. If you will permit, I shall lend an ear to your woes."
"Strype!!!"

Several hours pass as Sir Glasya shared his story with me, how he and his co-workers feel unworthy to serve the Emperor as his subjects, unable to stop the pack of adventurers who barge in their tower to loot them.
"Thank you for listening to me, my good friend. I feel much better now."
"I am honored, Sir. Ah, but do forgive me, I must take my leave now, I am being summoned."
"Oh! It seems I've taken more of your time than I should have. Let me give you something in return! "
"Ah, you must not trouble yourself , Sir Glasya!"
"Nonsense! Just take it as from one Monk to another. Your Mistress is also one, right? What was her race again?"
"Ah...If you must insist. She is a Miqo'te, Sir Glasya."
"Wonderful! Take this! I am sure she will love it!"

And so, with Sir Glasya's gift, I return to my Mistress.
"I have come, Mistress."
"Welcome baaaack~"
"I have brought you a gift from Sir Glasya Labolas of the Syrcus Tower."
I hand it over to my Mistress and a moment of silence filled the room.
"...That's great and all, Strypey-chwon, but it's not written on the description of this..."
"Ah."
" Harbor Herring."
"..."
"Hmmmm..."
"...If that is all, I will take my leave now, Mistress."

From the warm markets of Ul'dah, I was re-dispatched in the markets of Ishgard.
"The breeze of Ishgard seem to have gotten colder recently..."

http://i328.photobucket.com/albums/l...f.png~original

Character: Nyanchan Mochiko
World: Carbuncle
Preferred in-game Prize: Bluebird Earring

If a friend inquired about my Mistress, I’d tell them she was one of those particularly religious folk. Oddly, the lady blessed with the light of Hydaelyn does not send her fervent prayers to the Twelve nor the Mothercrystal.

No, instead she prays to the one she refers to as ‘RNGsus’, what nature of deity it is completely beyond me, but apparently he is supervised or directly controlled by a greater deity called ‘Yoshida’, this Chief deity is completely unknown to me and yet I always feel a certain sense of familiarity, like he truly exists, perhaps faith is genetically coded into me?

My lady also seems to be in constant battle against two fronts, her studies of some scholarly form of business and mercantile theory, and that twit named Alphinaud. Sure, he’s definitely a looker, like that cute flower girl who lived down at the corner back home, but whenever he opens his mouth, it’s always “Something big and totally not my fault has occurred! Please help Eorzea!” Quite annoying to later discover my lady had to travel across Eorzea and back again to clean up some mess the little brat caused.

The amount of travel my lady must do for her work is back breaking, and she returns much like a walking corpse. Not dead enough to bury, but too dead to gather any goods.

Today again, she crashes into the summoning bell, and bids me to go on a Quick venture. She’s always sent me on those ever since I came back with some pots of rare dye. It does me great pride seeing the Mistress use those dyes on her favourite clothes. However it seems to have set a precedent that is difficult to match.

Before handing me the two ventures and sending me on my way, the Mistress knelt and, as usual muttered her impassioned prayers to RNGsus. She told me, “Whatever is fine, surprise me! Just don’t get hurt and come back quickly.” Oh she is a lovely miss she is, beats Primals left and right, and yet cares for us retainers like family. I guess that’s her failing too, else she’d slap that Alphinaud right in the gob with a smelly fish.

I hit the markets, hoping that shady merchant had some stock of those dyes he trades me cheap for a single venture’s worth, I pocket the difference and family back home can eat for another moon. Lucky I’m not the gambling type, because best the little rat had was some “particularly delicious fishies”. Time was running short and I figured the mistress could probably whip up something delicious with some quality fish, so I closed the deal and rushed home. Guess who made a tidy profit too.

The Mistress received me with another bodily crash onto the Summoning Bell, and I presented to her the Catch of the Day, a fabulously High Quality Lominsan Anchovy. The Mistress simply shouted “Yoshidaaaaaa!” to the skies.

She was so happy she praised her deity.

Quote:

---

Character name: Jakuri Jinno
World name: Tonberry
Prize: Bluebird Earring

---

Character name; Helian Thusse
World name; Brynhildr
Prize of choice; Ahriman Choker

My name is Frajaria.

I am 27 suns and 8 moons old.

For a living I am a retainer.

I hate it.

---------------------

Ring-ring.
He's back. He always forgets something, swapping a trinket with me or asking me if I've sold anything. If only he wouldn't interrupt my real work. Please just give me the token.

How ironic, he leaves me in the care of a bursting sack of tokens. Ah, but today is special, he takes another from his pocket and places it in my palm. It is time.

"Of course m'lord, where shall you have me go today, and to what end?"
Again, as last time, he passes me a marked map.
Again, as last time, he farewells me wordlessly.
"Of course m'lord, I shall not disappoint."

I make way to the destination immediately, the sands ahead of me quickly become the dunes behind, soon I am there. The air is still, sharp, the aether is dense. Much like my employer I am a student of the martial arts. My arms are drawn.

At this moment I am no longer a retainer, time is meaningless, I am not Frajaria.
I am force incarnate.

"An' who are you suppose'ta be luv?"
"Ooh, lookie here boys, some chickybage ginger's here to show us a good time!"

Every set of crooked teeth gleaming in the torchlight produces it's own distinct, sinister chuckle. The chorus distils my focus.

"You shiteheads bloody bind? Lookit her jacket, she's wunna them Warrior of Light's personal gophers, them there retainers hafta offer diplomacy before they belt the snot outta ya."
"Aw piss, I ain't doing the tango with no sheila that fights like the fella who sent the black wolf home in a box."
"Be a real darl and do ya little speech so's we can pack up, we'll turn over a new leaf, I swears it on me Mum."

My heartbeat slows. Peace washes over me, I am ready to do what is right.

"No."

---------------------

Ring-ring.
He's back.

"M'lord, your will has been done."
For every token that he had left in my care that morning, there are as many teeth in the bag I drop at his feet.
The smile on his face shows his approval. Being a retainer is the near unbearable symptom of the privilege to help and train under the Warrior of Light.
I am given another token and before my shadow has lengthened I am northbound for the winterlands on another mission.

My name is Frajaria.

I am 27 suns and 8 moons old.

For a living I am a retainer.

And I love it.

Character: F'reya Sunburst
server: (Ragnarok)
Item : Ahriman Choker


Outside, a roaring, high pitched screeching filled the air, as the sandstorm forced its way through holes and past sharp edges in the massive canyon walls. Akin to a starving wild beast, it appeared out of nowhere and hungrily swallowed the world whole in one fell swoop. Dissonance had found the safety of a large rift, torn deep into the hard red stone of the wall ,just in time. However , reaching shelter came with a price. Half of the painfully gathered loot had to be left behind , most of it likely spread widely troughout all of the Ala Mhigan desert by now.

Absently, the elezen woman pulled the cork of the hard leather covered bottle from her belt, and dripped its soothing contents over her face in an attempt to wash off the burning from her eyes. She would end up returning with hastily scrambled, third rate goods once again, earning herself another lecture from her harsh mistress. Dissonance's legs gave in at the thought. Collapsing like a lifeless ragdoll, she hit the stony cavern floor hard with her bottom. Her limbs felt heavy with resignation and refused to move any further.

Tired, she decided to take a moment to gather herself , and allowed her weary mind a moment of respite, swaying back to pleasant memories long past. Rumors of a way to support the grand heroes of Eorzea, discovering the world along the way, had woken her from the nightmare of a monotonous Limsa'n farmer's life. Hand's trembling with anticipation, she had spilled the dark ink on the Retainer employment contract and her employer lady. The mishap had dyed her sleeves in royal blue, and to this day , even though her mistress' masterfully crafted armor had replaced her cheap farmer's rag's long ago, it sometimes seemed like some of the blue had still remained on her skin. Yes, it was a straining job, and at times a thankless one at that, but such was the price of the freedom she had sought for herself. One day , she would stand beside the legend she served as their equal.

The thought of the decision she made that day rekindled her determination. Dissonance pulled the bag lying beside her to herself , and hastily scoured it's sandy insides for some remaining salvagable contents. Several of the glass bottles, filled with various monster blood types she had gathered , were cracked or outright broken and their value had leaked along with their contents. The fluids had dripped into the large batch of Allagan silks and stunk horribly from Morbol secretions. Most of the wares shared the same ill fate. Dissonance's eyes grew wide with panic. Her hands dug deep into any pocket that might have remained untouched and sure enough - after a while of fervent search, one single batch of malm kelp leaves appeared to have survived the onslaught mostly unharmed. A bitter frown formed on Dissonance's face. One day , she would be a legend herself. Today however, this would have to suffice.

Verma hastily took the Venture Coin from Jeuno's moist palm and glanced at it for a moment, it had lost its shine and was defaced on both sides with small claw like scratches and it was...wet. She looked up, gazing longingly into Jeuno's eyes and smiled, through gritted teeth... "Anything else?" Jeuno shook her head, turned away and proceeded to stomp down the Rosewood Stalls, knocking over a Lalafell disturbing his 99.9% HQ craft... SMASH! as the crystal imploded showering him in smoke. The smile faded quickly, she pushed the venture into her breast pocket and turned away before quickly turning back, clutching the small silver bell and yanking the pin from the top "no distractions this time!" Verma took off towards the Aetheryte Plaza.

Several hours later she stumbled out of the Drowning Wench, her purse lighter, head foggy and in one hand, a small pouch that wiggled constantly "Whooooo shays I needs to go outs there to complete a Woodshlands Exporations!" Surely Jeuno would have returned by now and would be eager to see the results of her endeavor. Upon returning to the Stalls she gazed up and down the stalls "obvioushly out shaving the world again...hic!" She replaced the pin into the bell and then slouched against a wooden beam as a haze came across her, suddenly she realised she was very, very tired, she fell to the floor, the pouch hit the floor with a thud and a squeek!

Several hours later she awoke to see Jeuno towering over her with an awkward grimace across her face, she snatched the bag from Verma's grasp, squatted and tipped the bag upside down, spilling the contents across the floor, with military precision she tossed aside almost all of the contents and snatched at anything with the slightest shine "Wait there was...." Verma paused, whatever was inside had obviously escaped during her nap and was no doubt terrorizing the local Lalafells "nevermind..." she sighed. Jeuno rose to her feet, towering above her again, her height made Verma feel dizzy and rather ill, Jeuno reached round into her back pocket, pulled out another venture coin and tossed it in Verma's direction, nodded and then stomped off down the halls. "Why me......!" Verma cried out and began to sob into her hands...

Name: Jeuno Maru
Realm: Shiva
Prize: Mandragora Choker

Character name: Fanghelsing
World name: Ultors
Choice: Ahriman Choker

"Oh, I'll get busy, I'll get very busy, indeed" Neltharion replied as his miqo'te master handed the venture tokens over.
4 hours have passed and Neltharion has ventured all over the flourishing forest that is the black shroud looking for that tiny tapir his master really wants, but to no avail.
Another 4 hours have passed, and Neltharion has searched all over the scorching and ever changing lands of Thanalan for that minion, and yet it eluded him.
Neltharion was starting to get annoyed, he just wanted to quit right now, but his master was expecting him to return with the minion and the minion he was going to get.
Yet another 4 hours, and Neltharion has travelled to the furthest corners of Mor Dhona, Corethas, Dravania and the Abalathia's Spine, yet this minion his masters wants hasn't appeared.
Neltharion at this point was almost on the verge of raging and slaughtering everything around him.
He had 1 more area to cover, and that was La Noscea, but after searching for about 2 hours, it was obvious that he wasn't going to find this tiny tapir.
"Screw this, I'm going to go and relax for awhile" he said angrily as he treaded off to his 'chill' place, which just so happened to be in OuterLa Noscea.
Neltharion has been relaxing at the hermit's hovel for about 3 hours now, just sitting in the hot springs without a care in the world, when he looked at his watch and cursed under his breath.
"Well, it's about time I get off my ass and started heading back" he said as he stood up, got dressed and started his journey back to his master's side.
As he was leaving Outer La Noscea, Neltharion sensed something was behind him, but shrugged it off as just the wind.
As he was passing through Central Thanalan, he sensed something again, but brushed it off yet again.
Just as he entered the Central Shroud, Neltharion sensed something yet again, this time turning around and see 4 coeurls right behind him.
"What the...... did these damn coeurls follow me all the way from Outer Noscea?! Well, looks like I have to get dirty"
Half an hour has gone, and Neltharion, all battered up and bloody, is now surrounded by 4 dead coeurls.
"At least i now have something to give my master, I dread what she would do if I returned empty handed" he said with a sigh of relief.
When Neltharion finally returns, his armour was bloody and torn in places, with something bloody in his hands and a slight frown on his face.
"I renew my objections to that pointless endeavour. Informally now and by affidavit later" he said as he handed over the coeurl meat.
"Not the item I was hoping for, but I guess that will have to do", his master replied, and sent him on the same venture, hoping for that tiny tapir.
https://gyazo.com/b172daa0d788302223b5656e03c872dd

Rora's link pearl rang as she ducked into an alley off of the Sapphire Exchange. After looking around to make sure that no one had spotted her, she answered the call. “Hello,” she said exasperated.

“This is the retainer's guild, you have been summoned to Ishgard – in the Jeweled Crozier district.”

Rora sighed, “Can't you just tell her to come to Ul'dah? Why do I always have to travel to her?”

“I don't make the rules, I just am the messenger,” came the disembodied voice from the link pearl. With that everything went silent. Rora glanced around to make sure that no guards were watching her before she used the aetherial current to travel the hundreds of malms to Ishgard in less than a moment's time.

It took the petite and under clad Au Ra even less time to feel the difference between the two city states as it had taken her to travel between them. The bitter cold wind of Ishgard sent a chill through her bones, quickly taking any warmth she retained from the burning Ul'dahn sun. Rora changed into a heavier robe before going to find her mistress in the market.

Her mistress, the esteemed mi'qote adventurer, Zephyra, stood waiting impatiently. She waved to Rora as soon as she saw her, “There you are! I already met with the other two, what do you have for me? Please tell me it is not a fish.”

I went through so much trouble to steal this fish, Rora thought as she quickly searched her pockets for something that was not a fish. She found a potion that she had on her and handed it to Zephyra who took it with a confused look on her face.

“Ummm,” Zephyra said, “Did you buy this from a shop?”

“No,” Rora said, “of course not.” I stole it from one. “I got it from the Aurum Vale or... Yeah.”

“Mhmm.” Zephyra shook her head, “Okay, well I already have alchemist, fisher, and culinarian leveled up so please no more potions or fish.”

“Leveled up?”

“Nevermind,” Zephyra's tail twitched. “I'll be back in an hour, please have something better by then.”

Rora nodded and went on her way. She was not sure how she was going to find something of worth in an hour, especially with only 115 words left. This was the Jewled Crossier, there had to be something here, she thought just as she spotted the most delicious looking pie.

Quickly she drew her grimoire and called out her carbuncle. She petted it, “Carby, go distract that person.” Carbuncle blew a wind into the pie cart knocking it over and causing the surveyor to chase it. Meanwhile, Rora grabbed a pie and disappeared into the crowd.

That was easy.

Soon enough Zephyra showed up again. “What do you have for me?”

Rora presented her with the pie. Zephyra inspected it before frowning, “It's a fish pie.”

“Well,” Rora smiled and shrugged, “At least it's not a fish, right?”

Zephyra Aurora
Shiva
Ahriman Choker

Character name: Mira Amariyo
World name: Malboro
Choice of Prize: Mandragora Choker
------------------------------------------

Exploring is the best way to learn. That is probably why this is what I do most. From the first, “Here you go, your first bow. Start out on some small critters first and one day you’ll travel every corner of Eorzea just like me,” to the real work. I explore every corner now...
I loved the look on Mira's face when I’d return home with something odd like a roof or something else. “Where did you get that!?” A joking rumour has it that we take a roof or door from another house… off course this isn’t true. I actually visited the alchemist guild one day and on the way back to Gridania it was raining, so I had a little roof constructed as an umbrella. Quite the brilliant idea if you ask me, I didn’t have an umbrella after all.
Sometimes, and this is the most fun, I team up with other retainers. We go to dungeons or hunt for treasure. We also, although this is a bit boring in comparison, simply trade all sorts of random things we get our hands on.

New warm clothes, “We’re going to Ishgard.” I will never really get used to this, or so I thought. I was born and raised in the Thanalan area before I became a retainer. After a road through Coerthas CH arriving shivering in front of a hot fire at The Forgotten Knight. Suddenly I feel a woollen blanket draped on my shoulders. “Poor boy,” the familiar voice of Mira, “You know one way to endure the cold weather up here is returning here for a cosy warm blanket… and…” she handed me a mug with a good smelling brown drink, “Hot Chocolate, be careful not to burn your mouth while drinking.”
Guess what happened on the first sip? Still, if Mira treats me this drink every time I’m needed here… Yes, I think I can get used to this.

Ping, ping, ring. “Hey, you are needed at the FC-House in Mist.” It wasn’t the usual voice of Mira, but instead the younger miqo’te girl. She is the other retainer in our team in charge of mostly fishing.
I made the quick warp to Mist into the house up to the familiar room...
…Opened the door…
“Happy 16th nameday~!”
*POP!*
Confetti was raining and floating down on me.
… Wow!… never in my life…
A table in the middle of the room with a real Nameday Cake. Am I dreaming?
The rest all went so fast it seemed to happen all at once. The two Miqo’te handed me a wrapped up box while leading me to the cake.
“Make a wish for your new year, and good luck.”
“Thank you both, so much.”

I hope many more good stories come to this…

Being a retainer is the best choice I made in my life.

http://i.imgur.com/tKTMesu.png

"But it is only a ten minute run to the merchant... it will do you the world of good. More than the hi-potion could ever do.", the rather dour and pale Miqo'te retainer muttered through clenched teeth and the dismissive wave from the 'indisposed' Rhaya'li did little to ease the slow and coarse grinding from the retainer's maw.



A further pained groan from Rhaya'li issued forth and the retainer rolled his eyes heavens-ward and stalked from the room with a thunderous expression etched upon his pale features.



The ten minute walk did little to ease the annoyance that had been bubbling up within the retainer's mind, every little grudge and grievance growing exponentially with each 'ding' of that damned bell. Fetch this, fetch that, ding, ding, ding!



The growl that erupted from the pale miqo'te retainer startled a good many about him, including the Lalafel merchant he was standing before. The retainer's bubbling rage escaping with a gnash of teeth and a violent lash of his fluffy white tail before several deep breaths were taken. Each breath causing that fluffy white tail to swish a little less vigorously until finally it settled into a gentle flit of fur.



"I need..." A further deep breath escaped him, his shoulders sagged as he eyed the coins within his pale hand, "One potion and two vials of blood red dye if you please."



The retainer smirked, his sharp teeth bared for an instant as he took his three items stalked but a few yards before dipping into a discreet alley to mix the potion with the dye. It wasn't exactly clean, the colour was certainly a little off and the retainer's hands were adorned with red streaks that almost gave the impression that the retainer had been butchering the local flora and fauna with a vengeance.

The door to the room in the inn creaked open and the loyal retainer was met with a muttered grunt as light dared intrude upon the delicate sensibilities of Rhaya'li, "I've brought a hi-potion, though perhaps if you didn't scoff every last piece of bubble choco..." Again the retainer was cut off by a pained grunt and a trembling hand reached out unceremoniously for the hi-potion.

The retainer smirked and offered across the concoction with barely a hint of remorse, "I'm sure it will do you the world of good, I do hope you feel better. Just ring the bell if you need anything." And with those final words, the retainer nudged the bell a little further away from his dear employer and then slinked from the room just as Rhaya'li began to quaff from the bottle...

Character Name: Rhaya'li Lyegha
World: Siren
Prize: Scarf of Wondrous Wit

Character Name:Wu Tang
World name: Tonberry
Reward:Mandragora Choker


Retainer’s Log Entry: <22nd Sun of the 6th Umbral Moon>

It’s been 4 weeks since I’d "escaped" from Madam Rowena's House of Splendour’s, and I've yet to find a new master.

Un-employment rates are at an all-time high, now 7% from 5% last year, I blame the Calamity.

I’ve travelled to Limsa Lominsa looking for more employment prospects as the refugee crises in Ul’dha is escalating.

Skipping through the residential district of ‘The Mists’, my attention is drawn to a flyer that has stuck to my sandel.

“Huehuehue! The Great, Wonderful and Charming Master Tang is looking for his 4th Retainer! Do you have what it takes? Are you Dedicated, Upbeat, and Professional? Details below!”

I pray for the best as I hand my application and a Kupo Nut to the delivery moogle and await a reply.

/Cheer

I got the job!

Standing nervously at attention. Master Tang is deciding which venture I’ll receive, I’m hoping for something exciting, like a hunting expedition in the Coerthas Central Highlands, slaying wild beasts in the name of House Fortemps or maybe I’ll be mining for raw diamonds in the U’ghamaro Mines.

Master Tang backflips into his adjoining closet, and returns promptly handing me…

…a <Weathered Fishing Rod>.

Venture: Waterside Exploration.

But I don’t know how to fish!

I begin by looking for advice in Fisherman’s Bottom, there I see a swaying lalafell on a barrel, Guildmaster Wawalago’s was his name and being drunk was the game, apparently.

Sitting on the edge of Aleport pier with my rod, I cast a Goby ball and wait expectantly. After hours with little success one of the locals, Mr. Skribyld and his pet coeurl kitten ‘Chester’ stop by to offer me help.

“It’s all in the wrist little lady!” he bellows. The help pays off, and I get my first bite! , as I struggle to pull the line-up the damn beast almost takes my hand!

You receive…

A <Merlthor Goby (HQ)>

Disappointment crushes my soul and I toss the Goby into a basket and continue fishing.

Goby’s! It’s the only thing I’ve caught for 3 days straight, I can’t take it anymore! I’ve even lost most of my catch, the seedy underbelly of Aleport strikes again!

As my venture deadline approaches, I prepare to leave Aleport as a complete failure, my reputation in tatters before it’s even begun.

Walking towards the towns Aertheryte empty handed I hear strange noises in a nearby alleyway.

They say curiosity killed the Coeurl, but satisfaction brought it back.

Peering around the corner my eyes widen, it’ll have to do! I tried moving the object with rope, but it wouldn’t budge, I ended up rolling it to the Aetheryte.

Crocodile tears littered my face as the master reaches me after seeing the others, frustration visible on his face, he peers down towards my feet and raises an eye-brow in question.

I gulp and say the following;

“His name is ‘Chester’ Master and he’s…a Fat Cat.”

…Meow~ *Burp*

I forgot to add my retainers name! It's JuneBug. Gomen.

Hey there!
Character name: Kurgan Loweena
World: Moogle
Reward: Bluebird earring.

Retainer: Josaluli
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y29...psotffwguv.jpg (forgive the poor quality image)

___________________________________________________________________________

The Secret Life of Retainers

“Time to Shine! Tee-hee!”

Her master nodded slightly, clearly eager to do other things. Josaluli waved goodbye enthusiastically as he disappeared into the marketplace sighing with relief once he’d gone.

“Can’t believe I need to act like that each time, ugh, adventurers are so demanding.” She moaned reaching up to rub her temples before examining the two small venture tokens in her hand. “Welp time to get to work…” she said with a knowing smile.

Moving through the Pearl Lane walked a familiar route, not even needing to look anymore for the small tiny symbol carved onto one brick in the wall. Stepping up on the strategically-placed pile of boxes, she reached up and rapped on the hidden door. The brick with the symbol on it retracted into the wall as a set of eyes peered out from the dark space behind the wall.

“Hey there friend!” Josaluli pulled out her venture tokens “Got some work to take care of!” she stated holding them up to ensure the eyes could see them.

Nodding in silent recognition, the eyes disappeared as the hidden door opened onto a stairwell. Smiling, Josaluli ventured down into the darkness, until she arrived at another door.

Throwing the door open, Josaluli entered the hidden city of retainers. People running each and every way, waving items of all shapes and sizes. One Lalafell attempted to desperately push a roof, clearly too big for them, across the marketplace. Josaluli grinned as she watched rookie retainers frantically scrambling to help. She waved fondly to them, after all once upon a time she had to work that hard to please her master. The markets down here dwarfed the markets above, each shop containing splendours from all corners of the land.

Finally she arrived at her own house, a grand two-story mansion that far eclipsed her master’s little room. Entering into her house, her own servants bowed low in reverence for their ruler. Settling in onto her comfortable little throne she reached out and rang a small summoning bell as her own retainer ran up to her.

“Milady! I have returned from my mission.” The servant said bowing low and offering their findings. Josaluli’s eyes lit up at the treasure he had returned with. It was worth at least 2 million on the market board, not that she could let her protégé ever catch on to the value of such things. Handing him her ventures, she shook her head.

“FOOL!” she spat, causing the retainer to shrink in fear. “This is never going to please the adventurer!” she roared hiding the treasure away to sell later. “I am profoundly disappointed in you.” She said coldly glaring at the retainer while he grovelled for forgiveness. Josaluli mused over what to do...her master hadn’t seemed especially pleased to see her today. A cruel smile played upon her lips as a wicked idea came to mind.

“Get him a fish from the kitchens! Only the finest quality for my master!”

Millythia Solunawing's epic Ad-venture

Millythia was never the cleverest Au Ra in Eorzea. Despite having an unnatural attunement to aether she could never cast the simplest of spells. Some would say she was overqualified to cast the most basic of spells, but those who knew her would say that she was underqualified to even learn them. It wasn’t that she didn’t have the potential, but rather her basic understanding of linguistics was very flawed.
“Right, mistress wants me to bring back a carton, corination…a flower, there, I know flowers. Elita said it was for a hat or something.” Millythia told herself as she walked through the desert following a rumour. She travelled as far south as she could go and ended up somewhere that, by normal means, should be unreachable.

Upon finding the flower, Millythia was surrounded by a sand swimming beast tribe that were previously unknown. Millythia tried to reason with them as they chanted in an unfamiliar language. Suddenly the sand quaked and, where the rose once stood, there now towered a creature covered in a ruby shell. It had two long tendrils for arms, which it promptly buried in the sand. Millythia swung at one of them with her scythe, her unnatural aether flow spreading through the blade as she sliced one clean off. The second tendril smashed upon her then grasped her body to recover its lost aether then regenerated the lost limb.
“You can’t be serious!” Millythia cried out as she was thrown into a crystal that protruded slightly from the sand. The sand then begun to swirl and Milly had to pull herself up onto the crystal for safety.
“Damnit, I need to get that flower for mistress.” Millythia cried out as she punched the crystal in distress. A small crack formed into the crystal followed by an explosion of aether that sent her flying. Millythia’s head snapped around to see the flower as she passed and took a slice at the stem. The flower fell with her and she grabbed it quick before tumbling across the ground. Without hesitation, she pushed herself up and ran off as fast as she could.

Milly reached the edges of civilisation and bumped into a Lalafellian girl carrying a whole bunch of carnations.
“Oh, uh…I’m sorry.” Millythia apologised, helping her pick up the flowers that she’d dropped.
“It’s okay, I think I may have collected a bit too many carnations and couldn’t quite see where I was going.” The girl replied. “Hey, tell you what, if you give me a hand selling them I’ll let you have a bouquet of my flowers and I’ll pay you for your work.”
“Well, I guess mistress would be happy if I brought back more than...wait, where’d it go?” Milly asked herself as she rifled through her clothes. There was no sign of the flower anywhere. At this point she had no other choice but to agree and eventually returned to Elita with flowers in hand.

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net...1c&oe=56946C0F

1 Elita Draconia
2 Shiva
3 Ahriman Choker

Sneaking his way past a couple of Illuminati goblins, Jabediah got to the nearest mineral deposit in the Dravanian Hinterlands. He reached for the pickaxe on his back and extended the chisel and pick out from its folded position. With it raised high, his might braced to strike down on the rocky formation with wind crystals, he was interrupted by a familiar chime ringing from his linkpearl.

Jabediah sighed dejectedly. It was but ten minutes ago that his contractor sent him out on this venture. He corrected his Hamlet Digger’s helmet on his head and teleported to the retainer bell in the Goblet.

“You have additional orders, Lady Eir?” He asked his old fellow adventurer in his usual polite fashion while towering over her with his elezen physique.

Eirwen shook her head and craned her neck far back, almost looking straight up, in order to request some clear prisms from his inventory to glamour a new gear piece she recently acquired.

He handed her the items, imagining a disembodied head staring up at him and wondered what new glamour the former model would showcase this time.

Eirwen thanked him and sent him back on his merry way without the barest of hints.

“As you wish. As you wish,” he muttered to himself as he teleported in at Idyllshire, “Why must I be such a nice man?”

Jabediah used a porter chocobo to return to the chocobo statue near the mineral deposits and used his stealth to get past all the enemies again. With his pickaxe ready to slash into the stone, he checked his ears for any signals.

Nothing.

Determined to earn his venture, he slammed his pickaxe in the rock and excavated his first of thirty wind crystals.

Minutes passed, uninterrupted by the locals nor his contractor. He got up to twenty-nine crystals and had one last to dig out, but the crystal wouldn’t budge. He struck the rock again, but nothing happened. Time was ticking and he refused to walk to an easier node. A different chime indicated to him his time was up, but was still one crystal short.

Jabediah hastily looked around for a wind sprite. When he spotted one nearby, he pushed the chisel and pick down and extracted an extension of the hilt from the bottom, creating a lance. Using the pointed ends of his pickaxe, which he kept sharpened for such reasons, he attacked the wind sprite with his dragoon skills and felled it quickly.

He extracted a wind crystal from its remains and teleported to the retainer bell, where his contractor eagerly awaited. This time, he found himself in Idyllshire. Wondering why on Hydaelyn she chose to be in this town now, he crooked up a smile and turned in the crystals. His hyuran friend could be demanding at times, but seeing her in some attractive new shorts with cute rear pockets made it all worthwhile, reminding him of his old days as a dragoon by her side.

Character name: Eirwen Mackenzie
World name: Excalibur
In-game Prize: Ahriman Choker

http://orig13.deviantart.net/c283/f/...te-d9czyin.jpg
And here's what he looks like. :)

Character: Jacia Worldswalker
World: Balmung
Prize: Scarf of Wondrous Wit

---

A Rogue's Reward

R'haajr had always loved doing business with goblins. Any shiny bauble would catch their attention, and every now and then they had something of value they'd stumbled across in ignorance.

Not so unlike taking on ventures - guaranteed pay for bringing back... more or less anything. Jacia had always done well by him, though, so he liked to do his best. Well, the best he could do without putting in too much effort, and the spoils of an afternoon jaunt to some sunny corner of La Noscea fit that bill nicely. Spoils which were currently shaping up to consist of a faintly interesting Allagan-looking lump sitting among a goblin trader's wares.

"Lootfix greets uplander! Sees uplander having lustyeyes for junk of Lootfix, yes? Lootfix makes busydeal!"

"Well, when you put it like that..." grinned R'haajr. "Behold!"

He turned out his pockets to reveal a motley assortment of trinkets, all odd shapes and pretty colours, including-

"Agh! Nononono!"

He moved to snatch back the glint of silver as it rolled, but the goblin had already laid eyes on it. Lootpix's eyes gleamed through his goggles at the precious treasure as it disappeared into R'haajr's closed fist.

"Aha! Lootpix is muchwanting that silvergleam!"

That 'silvergleam' happened to be R'haajr's pay - his Venture. If he traded this away, he'd have worked for free, and the only thing less appealing than working was not even getting paid for it. He clutched it to his chest and fiddled with it, giving a nervous laugh.

"This thing? You don't want this. It's-it's small and worthless and really not very shiny. Maybe some jinglyshine instead?"

"Pssssh! Lootfix makes trade for silvergleam, not for jinglyshine today, and for tongueflaps never! Lootpix is having the judgethink that uplander is wideheart uplander. Sadfeel it would be if Lootpix had judgethink of uplander as narrowheart, no?"

"Let's not be hasty," replied the miqo'te. "Only this is er, precious. To me. Sentimental value, really. Nothing special-"

"Shhhkoh! Ears of Lootfix will earcatch no more timewaste tongueflaps."

R'haajr sighed theatrically.

"Fine. But if I'm parting with this, you make it worth my while, got it? Seven hells, the things I do to stay employed..."

Lootpix beamed and excitedly indicated his whole range of trinketry.

"Uplander chooses! Anything that is making eyecatch of wideheart uplander!"

"Two things."

"Uplander asks two tradethings for one?!"

"Well, if you don't really want this..." said R'haajr airily, turning away.

"Psssshhh... shkoh. Lootfix agrees to busydeal of uplander. Uplander chooses two tradethings before mind of Lootfix changes!"

R'haajr plucked up both the Allagan piece and an ore-flecked rock, and flicked something small and silver in Lootfix's direction as he turned to leave.

"Pleasure making a busydeal with you!" called R'haajr over his shoulder.

He put his hand into his pocket where his Venture had been safely returned, and suppressed a laugh until he was out of sight.

There were worse ways to spend a shiny jacket button.

And only now I realise I've written the gobbie's name two different ways. Ack! They should all say "Lootpix." Sorry. D:

This is the story of Joe.

Joe is your average retainer. Hard working, loyal, and serves his Warrior of Light diligently. With axe in hand he fights off all manners of beasts. From the lowly monsters around the city-states of Eorzea to the monstrous creations in Azys Lla, Joe can take them all on without trouble. He has explored far and wide. Yet, no matter where he goes, the instant his friend needs him, he’s there. Often with gifts from his journey to give to his trusted friend. His friend cherished all the items that Joe would return with. Using them for crafts, trying them out on a training dummy, or selling them at the market board.

With his skills at the pinnacle of what a marauder is capable of Joe would often head off on short, quick adventures. From doing odd jobs around towns for people for some food, to exploring the wilds, testing his mettle on all kinds of beasts, to just going for a fish in the ocean to pass the time, Joe wanted to try everything.

As he grew in confidence and gained more gear, he fought against beings thought of as gods by Beast Tribes, and legends of the Moogles, he grew in favour with all three grand companies who were willing to provide him with a bunch of their unique items, like floor tilings, and ceiling fans. Yet, even with all of his adventures, he was still overshadowed by his friend; The Warrior of Light.

He decided to try new things. Something his friend had mostly not done much of; The Wolves Den.

Out there, against other retainers, Joe grew further in his prowess, and defeated many a foe. Successful as he was, he soon found himself with an abundance of Wolf Marks. Having been so successful at something his friend was yet to conquer Joe proudly bought a few exclusive Wolf Mark items, including a Warwolf Bliaud of Healing, which he could not wait to give to his friend.

So Joe joyfully headed back to his friend, feeling quite pleased with himself, at least up until there was a thud on the back of his head, and all went dark.

A short while later Joe woke up, on his body a note; “Thanks for the top, My master will be pleased. - Neo.” This left Joe greatly upset.

-----------


Upon returning to the bell, the Warrior of Light called their retainer and over they came.

The retainer handed the Warrior of Light a new Warwolf Bliaud of Healing, happily saying “I've returned from my venture.”

To which the Warrior of Light promptly threw out the top.

-----------

On the way back to the bell, Joe was too upset to pay attention and accidentally tripped over tins of Jet Black Dye on his way. In joy at finding items most rare, he picked them up and returned to his friend who couldn't have been happier for the gift.

Thus ends the story of Joe, the Average retainer.

---// Story Ends Here, total above count; 500 Words, 2720 Characters. Checked with wordcounter (dot) net \\---

Character Name: Lilith Dark
World Name: Odin
Prize: Ahriman Choker

(BTW, my retainer in the story is Neo… who’s the one who returned with a Warwolf Bliaud of Healing. Which I’ve had at least once, and yes, promptly thrown it out. Joe however is just your average retainer who we all would like to have... cause he returns with Jet Black Dye.)

---------------------
Advoco Yamixaya
Cactuar
Ahriman Choker
---------------------

My master tells me if i tell you what on my ventures my master might win a prize. I'll take that challenge, far be it from me to deny you i say.

As one of the many new Au'ra to arrive from across the sea, having spent many a day fishing on the voyage i had arrived and found myself in the employ of Master Advoco Yamixaya, I thought what a weird name and i read it as avocado yummy xaya at first thinking what does that mean, is it a question, but as i was given new gear to fish with work with i decided i will work as hard as i can.

After being payed with venture coins I embarked upon my first waterside exploration, i didn't really know this new region so i looked upon a map and thought Little Ala Mhigo, now that sounds like it will have the best fishing spots so off i went. little did i know the area was filled with sand as far as the eye could see.

After stumbling around in the desert i met a tribe of Amalj'aa, but there was also a Miqo'te girl with them. I must of been the first Au'ra they has seen as they accused me of being a demon and remarked that i bore some resemblance to a primal the called Ifirt. i don't know what this Ifirt fellow but i guess if he was female and an Au'ra then maybe i look something like him

Thankfully instead of being attacked they talked with me, i explained i was out fishing for my master Advoco. To my surprise they knew of her, she had apparently help them out as some point, what luck. they helped guide me safely out of the desert and just as we were about to part ways they gave me a gift, a fat little cat they had been taking care of and said i should gift this to my master. i secretly wanted to name it Loonh Gah after the girl i met that day but it was not for me to decide

needless to say that was the last time i will ever try to fish in the dunes, what an absurd idea

my master was happy to receive her new pet and send me off right away, another challenge but far be it from me to deny her.

Au'ra'ra

P.S. here is a picture to show you who i am

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/Icam/Aurara.jpg

Character name: Gavrenon Whitelock
World: Tonberry
Prize: Bluebird Earrings

Belle of the Hour

Annabelle, having only recently taken up fishing ventures for her mistress, Ms Whitelock, needed all the time to practice and improve. Being placed on a Waterside Exploration I Venture, this short tale chronicles her first day's attempt...

8:00AM
Ding ding "You couldn't have picked a more inconvenient time."
"Annabelle, how do these earrings look on me?" says Ms Whitelock, full of glee.
"Splendid, madam, now if you'll excuse me, the fish await..."

9:10AM
Ding ding "What is it now, madam?"
"Annabelle, I just bought these new sandals, don't they look divine?"
"Yes, they certainly do - now please, if you may be so kind to let get back to fishing."

10:32AM
Ding ding "For the love of Azeyma - I mean, is there aught amiss, Madam?"
"Want to play Triple Triad, Annabelle? I've become quite bored."
"Retainers are not authorised to play cards, madam."
"Oh bother, go return to your fishing then..."

4:50PM
Ding ding "Argh! My line tugged just as you - ahem, how may I help you?"
"Annabelle, my party is not filling up, I want to go into a dungeon!"
"It helps if you set the item level to below 200 for Copperbell Mines, madam."
"Hahaha, where would I be without you?"

8:20PM
Ding ding "Another fish lost, what is it now... madam?"
"I'm just letting you know I'm heading off to bed soon. Long day adventuring!"
"Sleep well, madam." Finally, I can venture forth for fish uninterrupted for a while...

1:42AM
Ding ding "It's the middle of the night! What are you ringing me for now? I'm sharpening my knife..." Annabelle was nearing the end of her rope!
"I had a fright! Then I realised: I forgot to set the alarm!"
"But you don't have an alarm, madam."
"Well, Annabelle, why did you think I had this bell installed for!? It's not just to ring you, it's my alarm bell too! I named you Annabelle for a reason, you know. Fishing's just to keep you occupied till you wake me up!"

At this point, Annabelle gave up in protesting her incorrigible mistress, too embarrassed at her mistress' reason for naming her so and promised to ring the bell when the sun rose. As long as she could just stop the ringing for a bit longer... Annabelle retired to her quarters in Ms. Whitelock's home. She'll just have to settle for the pittance of experience gained. Well, that's one more answer for why retainers don't catch anything after a Waterside Exploration I Venture!

Ding ding Please ring responsibly!

Character name: Vincent Valourheart
World name: Balmung (I reside in the UK, I just play on a different Data Center)
Choice of Prize: Scarf of Wondrous Wit
- - - - - -

http://i.imgbox.com/yrV4bBR9.png

- - - - - -
The thief's hand wasn't long out of the nobleman's pocket with its prize before the alarm was raised. He might have wondered what made him so obvious a pickpocket, if not for the hooded scarf and goggles concealing his face, worn indoors, in broad daylight.

Fortunately, Erithae's feet were as swift as his reflexes, and the young Miqo'te found himself enjoying a merry sprint through the alleyways of Ul'Dah. The Brass Blades chasing him however, were far less happy about the situation, and much less happy to have tripped over the piece of rubble that Erithae had so deftly skipped over mere moments ago, and not thought to point out to them, for fear of ruining the surprise.

It was that same generosity that left his pursuers in the dust. Outpacing them however was not enough for the flighty footpad, and as he turned into an alley that should have been a dead end, he nimbly hopped his way up a stack of crates and scrambled up the wall onto the roof.

His stride continued over the rooftops, and he clambered quickly amidst the buildings of Ul'Dah, moving higher up in the city with each passing moment. When he reached a spot high enough in the city skyline, he stopped to admire the view below, savouring his victory.

He sat there for a time, content and gazing at the people below, before reaching into his pockets and pulling out a pair of emerald earrings, watching them shimmer in the sunlight as they dangled in front of his face.

'You must be very expensive to cause such a fuss.' Erithae thought, his attention drawn away from his prize to the sky above as a small airship passed overhead. 'That should be him.' He mused, and rose to his feet, pocketing the jewellery.

He stretched and let out a yawn, and took one last look at the city from on high. Erithae then began his descent, making the trip down look effortless as he hopped between rooftops as if each one was a mere step on a staircase. Once he was on the ground again, he removed his hood and goggles, and with a swish of his tail, sauntered into the crowded Ul'Dah streets.

He made his way to the Sapphire Avenue Exchange and approached his master, who stood beside the Summoning Bell, greeting them with an eager wave and by name.

"Vincent!" Erithae smiled, and showed him the spoils of his venture.
"Very shiny." Vincent stated upon seeing the earrings.
"A noble was just giving these away... when their back was turned." Erithae responded with sly smile.
"Business as usual?" Vincent asked.
"Business as usual." Erithae replied “Take from the rich, give to the poor, just like you taught me.”
"I believe I owe you a drink." Vincent grinned, ruffling Erithae's hair, and the two of them wandered to the tavern side by side.

With grins so smug, and matching mugs, the pair made a toast to “Honour among upright thieves.”

(Word Count: 500)
- - - - - -

The following is a reenactment based on a true story depicting the conversation spoken by the warrior of light and the internal thoughts of her retainer:



"Wow, I am so lucky! I get to be the Hero of Light's personal retainer! People dream of this position, and I finally made it my own. This is going to be so amazing I can barely contain myself. Oh, wait. I should probably listen to what she is saying. Come'on, pay attention brain! What is she saying?"

- All right, listen up. We don't have _much room_ for useless things, so bring me back _something good_ to decorate the living room with this time.

"She definitely said... 'We don't have mushroom'. I'm certain of it. She also mentioned to bring 'something good', which means she wants something good to eat. And mushrooms are edible, right? I see all these other retainers running around, fighting these scary monsters and sneaking into houses. I'm glad I don't have to do such chores. My mistress only wants me to bring her back a mushroom, hah!"

"Well lucky me again, here's one right here. A shriekshroom. And I didn't even have to ward off any monsters to get it! The mistress will be so proud. That didn't take very long, I guess I can just slack off for the remainder of the time, as she didn't want me to return within the hour."

* 59 minutes later *

"Oh why is she so upset? I hate it when she yells at me. Well, hate is such a strong word. I prefer loathe. Yes, I loathe it when she yells at me. I only did what you told me to do! Or... think what you told me to do... Who would have thought that a shriekshroom would make her scream?"

- OK, that was a _low_ performance but I will give you one more _chance_. I sincerely hope this mistake will not happen _another_ time. Even a spriggan could do _better_. If you do not increase your game I will have to find a better use for a retainer of your _quality_.

"She looks so sinister when she's mad. Every word is like a needle pushing further into... Oh noes, I did it again! I forgot to listen. Darn, stupid, stupid me! Err, let's see here. Ok, let's trace back here. She said something about 'low' and 'chance'. Maybe she thought my finding was just a chance occurrence? I think I heard the word 'another' at some point. She must want another shriekshroom, ofcourse! If I am not mistaken, she also said the words 'better' and 'quality'. If I put these words all together I can deduce that she wants me to find a high quality shriekshroom that is very rare! I'm a bloody genius when I think about it."



Epilogue:
After the second venture when the retainer returned with a shriekshroom HQ, the warrior of light to lost her mind and is now locked up in her house, stroking a mushroom plushie doll. The retainer forgot about her dream of working for the warrior of light and pursued a career at an aquarium, training gold fish.

Character: Tragoedia Darkmoon
World: Mateus
Prize: Scarf of Wondrous Wit
----

Meet Miunilia. A Lalafel retainer.

Do you see those sparkly cute little innocent eyes?... yes?... so cute huh?

Well my friend dont say you haven't been warned.
This little cutesy is a hardcore kleptomaniac. Whatever she sees, she steals...
Theres no telling when she will do it, or how, or even what she will target . She Just Does It !!
Sealife, clothes, boots, jewelry.. anything serves the purpose..

Do you think Imperials are good on demolishing realms ? ... yes?
Well you haven't seen this little one in action for sure.
She can single-handedly, piece by piece, deconstruct any house, small or large, in a matter of hours. No wall is too big. No roof is too heavy. Furniture isn't safe either.

No wall stands in her way, or so it was .. She's evolved.. took fanciness in animal kidnap.
Ocasionally she brings cats and dogs.
She says she finds them. i dont believe her. The cats she brings appear way too well fed to be stray.. and the dogs have a certain air of nobility to be left on the streets on their own.
Kidnapping i say. Rare findings she states.

If you see her hide and pray she didnt see you.
You have been warned !


http://img2.finalfantasyxiv.com/acci...0cc229898e.jpg

Another hour, another ring.

Leven had been returning from his hourly ventures with vortex rings for a few weeks now. It was unusual to get so many in a row but it was at least better than unappealing fish (EL OH EL, my retainer just gave me a 'chub'," Fen had laughed to her friends over the linkpearl).
---
Another hour, another battle.

With the weathered rod his mistress had given him, he dealt the final blow to the primal. Garuda screamed shrilly as she faded from the physical realm. As the cutting winds calmed and the treasure appeared before Leven, he desperately prayed to the Twelve. Please let this be it...
---
"Mistress, I have returned."

He dismounted from the horse and held out the vortex feather that had fallen from the primal as she had faded away.
Fen the Lalafell glanced at the pony briefly then her eyes widened as she saw what her retainer held. She jumped up and snatched the primal's remains from her Au Ra retainer's hands.
"Ohhh sweet thanks!" she exclaimed and turned her back on her retainer to use her linkpearl. ("Oh EM Gee, look what my retainer just bought back! 'Vortex Feather'. Easy one mil!") Leven waited until Fen had finished her boasting before giving her the news.

"Mistress, it is with a heavy heart that I must end my employ with you..." the retainer said.
"What?" Fun spun around to face him, her jaw slackened, her mouth agape.
"...as my wife demands a more lavish lifestyle and I can't afford to give it to her as a mere adventurer's retainer.
"You're married?" Fen spluttered. Leven reached up and stroked the pony's mane.
"Why yes, I met her on this job, I had been searching for my soul mate for so long..."
Fen stared at her (ex?) retainer then back to the glowing windy pony he had rode in on. The gil dropped. Au Ra, Xaela, traditional....OH.

"Uhhh so she'll be Mrs Goro then?" Fen said with a strained smile.

(Thanks SE for the Xaela lore ;))

Fen Weiss
Tonberry
Ahriman Choker

[Once upon a time, fulfilling the orders of the master...]
"Hey look! There's the enemy I'm looking for :o! What :confused:? It can not be, a horde of retainers like me go for it! It must be mine, I need that and only that enemy, can not be another! :mad:"
[Some seconds later]
"Oh, well... :("
[Waiting for the respawn]
"And that's why I hate it when the master does not give me the Filed or Quick Exploration. :rolleyes:"

--------------------

Character: Eowyn Loire
World: Moogle
Prize: Scarf of Wondrous Wit

Ivoryrose, or Ivy for short, was finally ready to take on tougher 18 hour mining ventures. She took her pay, politely said her farewells, and wandered off in deep thought towards Western Thanalan.

A few weeks ago Ivy had heard whispers at the Miners’ Guild about a cart which magically followed its owner. However, as she was only there to purchase some ore rather than gather it for that particular venture, she didn’t stick around long enough to hear more. But now the time had come to seek out the truth for herself, and she believed it was hidden in the Copperbell Mines.

With this cart Ivy planned to outshine her fellow retainers who had brought Yazi back useless things like overweight cats and tiny yetis, but which she for some reason adored. Ivy instead wanted to acquire mountains of precious ore, which in her eyes were far more valuable, especially in gil!

“Argh! Curse the Tw-“

Ivy wasn’t paying attention, so caught up with gil signs for eyes, she’d literally stumbled into the mines. But before she could gather her bearings she saw movement ahead. She quickly jumped to her feet and hid behind the nearest boulder, peeking around the side for a better look.

In the distance was a light, casting several moving shadows. There were too many to determine individual shapes, but they all seemed very short.

“Lalafells, perhaps? They couldn’t be Hyur children, those rumours were debunked, right? Or… No, please don’t be spriggans!”

As these thoughts rushed through her mind, her eyes caught a glint. It took her a moment to register what she was seeing, but there it was, a cart moving of its own accord and without rails! It was another moment before she realised just how small it was.

“Surely the light is playing tricks with my eyes? Why, that’s practically miniature!”

She must have said that last part too loudly because suddenly she heard rustling and grumbles coming towards her. Without another thought or glance towards the approaching silhouettes, she ran as fast as she could towards the cart, grabbed it, ran back out of the mines and hid behind the beams of the entrance. And then there wasn’t another sound, from her or the miners, for what felt like an age.

When she thought it was safe, she quickly set back to Ul’dah. Although there was still a few hours left before she expected to be summoned, Ivy was exhausted and had lost a lot of motivation from the disappointment of such a small cart, so decided to rent a room at The Hourglass for the remainder of the night.

When the inevitable ring of the summoning bell came, Ivy put on her best smile and decided to just hand over the miniature minecart so she didn’t appear empty handed. To her surprise and relief, her employer loved it.

As Ivy departed on her next venture, she spotted Yazi running in circles, laughing joyfully as the cart followed behind her.

http://img2.finalfantasyxiv.com/acci...88d5816239.png

Words: 500

Character Name: Yazi Fairhammer
World: Cerberus
Prize Choice: Ahriman Choker

After receiving her glimmering venture coin, Olivestra decided enough was enough. She didn't want to spend another hour scouting Thanalan to only come back with a rusty spear, she wanted to earn her venture.
She sat down on the warm pathway of The Goblet, devised a plan and disembarked to Zahar'ak! With Grimoire in one hand and a charged Ruin in the other, she made quick work of the guards at the gate and began her trail of righteous fury throughout the complex. No matter whether the onslaught came at her through flame, spear or fist, she successfully smote the accursed Amalj’aa and fought her way to the heart of their hearth, the Bowl of Embers.
There, she bore witness to a truly frightful sight to behold; the rebirth of a Primal. Looking on with awe and sadness, she saw the tempered lay down their lives as sacrifice to call forth the mighty Ifrit. Emerging from a firey cocoon, he looked around for the danger to his kin that had been the reason for being pulled from the void, and laid eyes on one rather petrified Hyur.
Knowing her only options were to fight or flee, she wouldn’t let the monstrosity before her make her quest a wasted one. She chose to fight with all she had, and called forth from the aether her trusty carbuncle to stand by her side. As quick as a flash, Ifrit darted toward her, reaching out with his claws, like talons preparing to tear through their meaty prey. She sent her carbuncle to intercept while bombarding the primal with curses and poisons to fog its mind and damage its body. The carbuncle defended her as best it could, but after a swift slice by the peccable primal, it fell to the floor and faded back into the aether. Saddened and angered by the loss of her companion, Olivestra unleashed a fury unknown to even Ifrit, and began casting a spell that would obliterate the primal once and for all.
She could feel the heat of her surroundings as she attempted to concentrate, the hot stones on the back of her legs, burning away at her skin. But she wasn’t touching any stones, or so she thought. She blinked, she stretched and she realised that off, outside of The Goblet from which she decided to ‘plan’ her venture, albeit while asleep, her master was requesting the results of her heroic escapade.
Realising the only thing she had manage to accumulate in the past 59 minutes was sunburn and drool, she ran to the nearest vendor and purchased all she could afford with the gil she had. No matter how she turned her head, the jellyfish cnida would never glisten the way a flame imbued greatsword would.

Shyly handing over her seemingly pitiful prize, she got exactly what she expected, a warm pat on the head, another shiny venture coin and a request that she at least tries to, if possible, not fall asleep this time.

http://img2.finalfantasyxiv.com/acci...5577422b53.jpg

Character Name: Baeroth Foehammer
Server: Cerberus
Item: Ahriman Choker

The Tale of Evilkitten

Evilkitten, who was sitting quietly on the beach, was suddenly whistled away to come to her master, Evil. She was asked politely if she could go get her that shiny pastel pink dye she had been dying to get for her new dress.

What Evil didn’t know was how hard Evilkitten tried, even as a fisher, how it was almost impossible to obtain these dyes. Evilkitten, nevertheless, set off because she wanted to keep Evil happy.

So off she went through the torturous land and stormy weathers towards to the distance lands where only Retainers can go. She approach a village where she knew dyes were sold and notice that it sold the pastel pink dye, she felt relived as she knew it would make master happy. Yet there was a problem, a very sad problem, she had forgot to bring along payment for the dye.

She realized, however, that she could get other means of payment and through specialize training of fishing she had received she decided to go fishing. Thankfully she had her special goblin jig with her. The one in which she named ‘gobbie’ as it was her lucky tackle, the one she carried with her everywhere.

To briskly went towards the river but unfortunately it was stormy and she knew it would disturb the fish below. So she sat and she waited for the storm to pass whilst feeling very cold. As she waited, she thought about the huge smile which would be on master’s face when she got that pastel pink dye.

After what felt like years, the storm finally passed and so began the long wait. She must have seen that goblin jig bob up and down a few dozen times only to receive hundreds of mudskippers. Then it happens, the hugest, the strongest tug ever. She stood up, she pulled back hard on the fishing line. She pulled and she pulled, she reeled that line in like it was life or death and finally she got the best fish ever.

She looked at it in glee, knowing it was worth the gil for that pastel pink dye and she skipped so happily back to the village. Then it happened, her heart dropped and she felt the whole world crumble around her. The pastel pink dye, she found hours before and know she went through every to get had been sold. She didn’t know what to do with herself as there was only one thing left in the market to buy.

With a heavy heart she bought it and made her way back to Evil knowing full well she wouldn’t be happy. As she heard her final whistle call on master she made her way to the summoning bell. Then with a sad heart yet with a happy smile she proceed to give Evil her present, it was another olive seed.

Evil stormed off, very unhappy at Evilkitten at another unwanted present.

Evil will never know how sad Evilkitten was that day.

Character Name: Evil Kitten
Server: Cerberus
Item: Ahriman Choker

Clammed up

The aetherial chime of the summoning bell pierced the air, rousing Lucelle from her reverie with a panic. She, like other retainers, was required to respond to her Lady's summons at any hour with unfailing haste, and being employed under these conditions for an extended period had cultivated a nervous disposition.

"How may I be of service, my Lady?", she stammered dutifully.

Recently, Lucelle had begun to sense that she was making little progress with her attempts to open her Lady's eyes to the fascinating world of Eorzea's marine life. The rolled-eyes, increasingly thin veneer of smiles, and chuckles of other adventurers attested to the fact that Lucelle's earnest scholarly intentions were going largely unappreciated.

As she was assigned a short open-ended task, termed 'quick exploration', Lucelle mused briefly on the inconvenient terms of her employment that dictated she be paid in a currency only recognized by the Adventurers' Guild, namely ventures. The reason for the existence of these coins would forever remain a mystery to her. She once asked her Lady why she kept her ventures in stacks exactly 99 coins high, a question that was met only with a blank stare. She resolved not to ask again. Lucelle extended her hand expectantly.

She felt a brief surge of panic as her Lady's hand wavered in the air, as if hesitant to part with the coins. Ventures were designed partly as a way for retainers to further and test their abilities, but mostly as a way for Adventurers to enrich themselves; Adventurers were under no obligation to pay for them. Lucelle relaxed slightly as her Lady's hand finally continued forward, and with a forced smile she dropped the coins into the retainers hand.

"Of course, my Lady", she spoke in affirmation, clutching the pair of coins tightly in her palm as she turned to leave.

Anxious to preserve her now seemingly tenuous supply of coins, Lucelle realised she would have to convince her Lady of the value of her endeavours. There was only one solution. She would have to present her Lady with the finest example of Eorzea's aquatic denizens that could be obtained. An hour of fishing yielded the exquisite specimen she knew her Lady would appreciate.

"The venture is complete, my Lady" she declared triumphantly, proudly displaying a large and perfectly-formed Vongola Clam.

Character: Latrissa Saphon
World: Phoenix
Item: Ahriman Choker

Ding ding!

Kirakunakiti’s ears flick up as she hears the summoning bell.

Looks like Fohl has another fishing adventure for me! Hope it’s not more white coral…

“Curiosity called the cat. What do you have for me today?”

Ugh, why do I always have to say the same darn thing every time I greet him?! That lame retainer school told me that repetition helps to make things simple for the master, but it’s soooo boring!

“So, can you get that for me?”

Huh?! Crap! I forgot to pay attention to what he wanted! NYAAA! I should ask him to repeat himself.

“I'll start now, if that's what you want.”

Why conscious! Why!!!

“Thanks Kiti, see ya in an hour!”

“When the master's away, the cat will play!”

What should I do?! Hmmm. Guess I’ll just go get more white coral. Life sure has changed since I became his retainer. I became a retainer thinking that I’d be some sort of adventurer, working side by side with me master. Instead, he made me a fisher… though… I don’t mind the fish! But most of the time he just asks me to get coral… bleh. I can’t eat coral…

Grugurgrpgurrghghghg. Kirakunakiti looked at her stomach.

Nyaaaa, now I’m hungry… Guess I’ll just eat some of the dozens of fish master left with me. I swear, for the man who defeated all of Eorze’s primal’s, he sure ain’t got the sharpest noggin’. He just leaves me with hundreds of fish to store! Does he think they stay fresh forever! I always have to go out and fish for new fresh ones!

Ding ding!

Surprise surprise! 20 minutes in and he’s callin’ me again. Probably gonna throw more fish my way.

“You know I've not finished the venture yet, rrright?”

”Sorry, but my inventory’s full! Let’s see… looks like no one’s bought what we put on the market yet, so please hold on to these in the meantime!”

Yup. More fish.

“Don’t forget about the venture I gave you! Cya!”

“I told you I'd take care of it, so stop worrying.”

Darn. He didn’t repeat what he wanted. Back to what I…

Ding ding!

Seriously…

“You know I've not finished the venture yet, RRRIGHT?!”

“Sorry Kiti! I forgot I need some money to put into our company! Now you can go back to your venture.”

Nyaaa! My money… Now I only have 25 minutes to get…. Uhhh, I still don’t know what I’m supposed to get. It’s probably more white coral. Should only need 10 minutes, then I’ll just sleep until he comes back.

25 minutes later.

Ding ding!

“I did my very best, just like I said.”

Lies

“Awesome, how many high quality bluebell salmon did you get?”

Uh oh. Did he say salmon!? Nyaa! Whatever, I’ll just give him some of what he left me to hold.

“Just 1 high quality? Oh well, hold on to this for me. Also, I think you should do a water exploration next.”

I hate water.

Quote:

---

Character name: Fohl Hakuko
World name: Goblin
Scarf of Wondrous Wit

---

Piece of Cake

“I feel like cake,” announced bored Mateus. The crimson haired Summoner had spent the cold afternoon leaning back on the comfortable sofa of his room at «The Forgotten Knight».
“C—ake?”, Stacatto, Mateus’ Mi’qote very personal retainer, asked, bewildered at the whim.
“Pineapple!” blurted the Summoner.
Hastily, he ran to the kitchen, his companion after him. One by one, he reached for the ingredients of the Pineapple Ponzecake. A prickly pineapple. Maple Syrup. Sunset Wheat Flour. Night milk. Now, with a fire and water clusters at hand…
An explosion of steam fills throughout the kitchen. No signs of any cake.
“What? Something’s missing.”
Mateus turns then to the retainer asking:
“Stacatto! Find what’s missing.”
“What?! Master, are you absolutely mad?! It’s as cold as a diamond dust outside!”
“Pineapple.”

***

Stacatto sighs. Lost in Dravania, little does he know he has reached the Zenith.
“Master told me to blow this horn in case I get lost… I wonder if he’ll mind me bothering him…” – the Mi’qote shrugged. A soft melody rung, and for a while nothing happened…
…until a mighty white dragon roared down from the skies, land shaking upon his landing.
“Mortal! Why do you disturb my sleep?!”
Hiss and bristle.
“AHHHH! Ah…! I was merely looking for the missing ingredient for my master’s cake… I’ll just… be on my way! Goodbye, Mr. Dragon!”
“I am Hraesvelgr! Wyrm connoisseur of cake patisserie extraodinaire! I know what thou seek, Mortal.”
“…you do?”
“Yes. But first you must answer a riddle.”
“Bring it on.”
"Which is correct: "The yolk of the egg is white." or "The egg yolk is white."?"
“Excuse me, would you mind repeating that?”
“I said, "Which is correct: "The yolk of the egg is white." or "The egg yolk is white."?"
“What’s that?”
“Darn you, Mortal! I will repeat myself one more time! Which is right: “The yolk of the egg is yellow.” or---" Pause. “Damn. I gave out the answer.”
“HA! CAUGHT YOU! The yolk of an egg is yellow, not white! Your riddle sucks!” spotted the grinning Mi’qote.
That is when Hraesvelgr roars in an abyssal fury and the winds gather around him in a frenzy as Hraesvelgr turns into…
…a green chicken?
“Bawk, bawk!” it speaks before it leaves behind an egg. An Apkallu’s egg.
“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!” Paws up in the air with surprise! “This… this must be Master’s missing ingredient!”

***

Back home, trembling with chill, our intrepid retainer is thence returned to his Master. The Mi’qote holds his trophy on his Master’s sleepy face.
“I’m home,” Stacatto announced.
“What? Don’t tell me you’ve brought yet more junk…”
“No…” – the Mi’qote brings all the ingredients together and clasps once more the fire and water shards – “I’ve brought you cake.”
And all of a sudden, almost like magic, a wonderful, scrumptious, shining, caramel-coated Pineapple Ponzecake lies on his Master’s lap.
“CAKE!” Mateus enthusiastically shouted.
“That is right, Master. Cake...”
Stacatto sighed once more,
“I don’t get paid enough for this…”

Quote:

---

Character name: Mateus Alexandrov
World Name: Cerberus
Item: Scarf of Wondrous Wit

---

http://i.imgur.com/LE6WFTQ.png

"I," says the retainer who goes by Jamesbastian, "was under the impression this was gonna be a fishing trip."

Water dripping down from the serpent towering above them keeps getting into his eyes. Or he has just burst into tears.

The leader of the expedition laughs. "Well, you ain't wrong."

Earlier today, Jamesbastian joined a group requesting help for some "sushi action". Nothing about this indicated anything out of ordinary. Even the ship's name was about eating something.

"I-is that an, umm. A rather sizable eel?" stutters Jamesbastian.

"Good one," the increasingly-obiously-not-a-fisher-kind-of-adventurer snickers. "Hear that, fishfaces?"

Agitated hissing echoes from the waves around the not fishing boat. But of course they are in sahagin territory. Naturally this behemoth here is Leviathan, what else!

Before Jamesbastian can protest his involvement in this mess, the beast slams its enormous tail rather unceremoniously against the already very shaky boat. The next breath Jamesbastian takes fills his mouth with water. His ears are plucked by the humming silence of the sea.

So this is it. The idea meeting your end for the sake of your master is certainly romantic, but this isn't the kind of fate becoming a retainer seemed to entail.

"Hey. Mind not being dead already?" a not-the-fisher-kind-of-voice demands from beyond Jamesbastian's closed lids.

Instead of a ferocious sea monster, what greets Jamesbastian is the face of the adventurer who recruited him on this lie of a venture. Behind her, Jamesbastian can make out the spinning shape of an aetheryte. He's in Limsa.

"Turns out the ninja was a surprisingly good diver," the adventurer muses.

Jamesbastian gazes at the sky. It's dusk already. Probably around the time of the deadline---

Oh no.

Jamesbastian springs up and sprints towards Hawkers' Alley.

He can see the Warrior of Light, hand on that dastardly bell already. Jamesbastian is on time, miraculously, but that hardly matters. The bell rings, and he isn't ready to drown the boss in items.

What's he gonna say? Explain how he survived swimming with Leviathan itself with nothing to show for it? Never.

No. This incident shall forever remain secret. But that means he has to produce something, now.

Jamesbastian pushes his hands into his pockets. There has to be something there. If he has to give the boss the keys to his apartment then so be it. Anything but coming back empty handed can be explained away.

Jamesbastian's fingers grab onto something. He hasn't an inkling of an idea what it could possibly be, but the boss's face is becoming curious and this situation needs to end now.

No time for hesitation. This is now officially what he risked his life for. The ultimate souvenir for the Warrior of Light.

Jamesbastian pushes his hand forward. He reveals his palm, holds his breath, and looks.

In his hand is a still twitching Lominsan Anchovy.

So. That did end up being a fishing trip after all.

http://orig02.deviantart.net/d254/f/...ty-d9d829d.png

1. Geccy Minttu
2. Odin
3. Ahriman Choker

"What do retainers get up to?" Mara Zune pondered as she watched her retainer Madaline slink off with two freshly minted ventures clasped in her hands...

Madaline rushed through the undergrowth, the wind blowing the ears of her Spriggan Cap against her back as she made her way through the farmlands of La Noscea. She had heard that one of the shards of Dalamud that had pierced its way into Hydaelyn was close by in Eastern La Noscea and that it still held remnants of Allagan technology. Not wanting to venture the dangers of the jungle and risk being devoured like a handful of lalafells by a Goobbue, Madaline decided to aim for Costa Del Sol; maybe there she could find a way to reach the coil.

The picturesque Costa Del Sol loomed into view. She had heard that Master Gegeruju, the owner was a selfish lalafell who cared for nothing other than money and women; but to get to the coil, she would need use of his ferry. Getting near him however would be tricky as he is only ever close to his dancers and seeking an audience with him would be tough without coin or a business proposal. Madaline sought another way; using her wit and her charm, she managed to get close to him by posing as a new dancer.

She intrigued Gegeruju with her pale skin and blue hair as he sat there captivated by her powerful dance. As she finished her routine, Gegeruju granted her passage, and she carried on toward her destination.

Upon landing at the ferry port on the other side, Madaline made her way along the sparse edges of the jungle and arrived at Castrum Occidens. Since the Warrior of Light's raid on the castrum and the coil itself, the patrols were limited, enabling Madaline to slip past with relative ease. The gaping maw that was the entrance to the shard lay before her eyes as she snuck through the final gateway, avoiding a couple of Garlean Vanguards patrolling outside.

"This is it." she thought, striding into the entrance with her bow drawn. The place still crackled with mysterious energy even though the machinery itself had been shut down, most likely caused by the corrupted crystals engulfing the shard. The floor was littered with the corpses of Allagan monstrosities with a few dragoon corpses here and there. If she was correct she would find the materials where Caduceus fell. There were a few creatures left but with a whiz from her bow they fell with ease, clearing the way to her prizes. Much to her dismay however, the silk was nowhere to be seen and the only leather was torn to bits with Allagan Silver pieces scattered across the ground.

Picking the silver pieces up, Madaline made her way home, using her ventures to buy a gift for her mistress as an apology, hoping Mara would understand.

"Wonder how it went..." thought Mara as she rang the bell. "Not another fish!"

Character: Mara Zune
World: Tonberry
Prize: Scarf of Wondrous Wit

'Just the one today, Buscarron, I'm running behind,' the weary Lalafellin lancer sighed as she perched a leather satchel on the barstool next to her.
'Let me guess... more antelope horns? Mumuse, at this rate there'll not be a single stag left in the Shroud by the time yer through.' Buscarron's faux indignation quickly gave way to a wry smile at the appearance of his favourite barfly.
'You want to tell my boss that yourself? Besides, drowning my guilt's the only reason I stop by the Druthers these days. Gods know I don't come here for your ugly mug.' Mumuse chuckles to the grizzled proprietor as he sets a tankard of faerie apple cider before her. She eagerly clasps the cup, only to find Buscarron's hand still firmly wrapped around it.

'Mumuse, ye know how honoured I am to serve the Warrior of Light's foremost retainer, but we all have to pay our way and it's been two moons now.' Mumuse's nose wrinkles, but she nevertheless reaches into her pocket and produces a fistful of ventures, allowing them to skitter across the bar.
'You know, you're a lot less fun sober,' Mumuse laments as Buscarron makes a show of counting out his twenty-three owed ventures, beaming all the while. Once the tally is done he relinquishes the tankard.
'Aye, and I'm a lot less broke sober too. Anyhow, enough talk of debt and duty, how is yer trusty employer keeping?' At that, Mumuse drains half the tankard and sets it back down before her, drawing a deep and satisfying breath. She meets Buscarron's gaze and draws his eye to the satchel beside her.

'Well, he's still adamant his slapdash carpentry merits as much of his attention as slaying Primals. Can you believe he's more proud of the quality of his wood carvings than he is of killing a giant whale from atop a flying boulder?' Mumuse returns to her cider before continuing, enjoying Buscarron's undivided attention. 'All the while I've been out making the antelope an endangered species he's had Y'subri felling half the Shroud.'
'If I've told ye once,' Buscarron shrugs, 'I've told ye a thousand times, yer wasting yer time trying to understand the mind of a 'venturer, least of all the Warrior of Light. Ye've more chance of winning the Cactpot than ye have of making sense of what goes on in his head. So long as he's got you to make sure he doesn't trade his axe in fer an awl fer good, I can at least sleep a little easier at night.'

Around halfway through Buscarron's counsel, Mumuse had reached the bottom of her tankard and by the time he was through talking she had her satchel slung over her shoulder and was making for the alehouse's door. Before making her way out into the cool evening air, she turns to bid Buscarron farewell. 'If I'm so crucial to your beauty sleep, you might consider giving me a drink on the house from time to time.'
'I'm sure I could stretch to one o' me ciders fer free. How does this time tomorrow sound?'
'Sounds perfect. Of course that's assuming there are any antelope left this side of Amdapor by tomorrow,' Mumuse ruefully jokes as she begins she walk back to Gridania, heartened as always by her time at the Druthers.

Character: Waughlin J'arth
World: Coeurl
Choice: Ahriman Choker