is it "cheating" if you have different ingame wifey/gf than irl wifey/gf?

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Originally Posted by LianaThorne

Speaking as someone actively in that situation, my irl knows everything and is accepting of it.

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Not trying to disrespect by really cutting out a lot of what you said. Just grabbed enough to get your attention. Honestly, I am probably gonna get some heat for this but sounds like you guys have a very strong relationship because you and your SO communicate. Communicate is one of the biggest keys in making a relationship work. Its a building block. The fact that both you and your SO are communicating, supportive, etc. That right there is already better than a good chunk of couples out there.

If you have a different in-game significant other than your real-life significant other... one should rethink who they are married to :) Clearly you've made a poor choice!

In all seriousness - if all parties involved are ok with it, then it's fine. Keep in mind there is a lot more to a relationship than just sex.

Only if they don't wear cat ears.

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Originally Posted by SlouchyBard

Not trying to disrespect by really cutting out a lot of what you said. Just grabbed enough to get your attention. Honestly, I am probably gonna get some heat for this but sounds like you guys have a very strong relationship because you and your SO communicate. Communicate is one of the biggest keys in making a relationship work. Its a building block. The fact that both you and your SO are communicating, supportive, etc. That right there is already better than a good chunk of couples out there.

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We do haha. Even if conversations are rough, they still need to be had and we reach compromises on certain things that he may have small issues with but the majority he has handled incredibly well and supports me in them. We're at the point now where I can actually talk about fights I'm having with my online partner and he'll offer advice on how to fix things because he knows how happy I am having both in my life. It's pretty wild tbh haha.

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Originally Posted by LianaThorne

Speaking as someone actively in that situation, my irl knows everything and is accepting of it. He also doesn't view it as cheating. His line is drawn at me going and sleeping with my online partner (physically, however visitation in general is something he isn't against) but whatever happens online is fair game. He has his reasons for it (a majority stemming from him working insane hours and hardly being around outside of a couple hours at night) and doesn't hold it against me that I have another person to fill the needs that he himself has admitted he can't. That doesn't mean he wants to take the dramatic step of just calling off our six-year long relationship, but he loves me enough to know that the point is everyone being happy. He's happy and I'm happy. It's a pretty easy life and has been going on for about a year now.

I also know of several pairs that engage with others online but separate it from their irl relationship. What I mean by that is, in blunt terms, it's just sex. There's no feelings behind it. It's just RP. Who they are as a couple irl isn't reflected by their fake personas.

There's no right or wrong answer here, just a matter of preference and what each person is comfortable with. If you're rigidly mono then yeah, it won't be for you. There's nothing wrong with that either. If you fall more in the middle (where I am because I swing back and forth between wanting one person and multiple), it can go either way. Those who are fully polyamorous won't see an issue at all with that as long as boundaries are respected.

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Not sure how anyone can live like that. Not being against visitation yet we all know what humans end up doing when they're in love and physically attracted to one another. Sounds more like they also have someone else on the side and are for that reason fine with it. A healthy relationship does not require any or even feel the need to wanting multiple persons. The way I was raised and what I see around me with family and friends it's definitely not normal or based on preference to have multiple romantic relationships at once.

Maybe it's different because of culture in other parts of the world? Idk.

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Originally Posted by LianaThorne

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I hope this isn’t out of the comfort zone so please don’t answer if it’s too much but…..you ERP with this guy, and your partner is ok with you seeing him IRL but you can’t sleep with him IRL, ok I understand that but……how do you go to see the guy you just did the deed with online and nothing happens between you guys? Isn’t there some chemistry left? A hint of curiosity? If your partner can’t fulfil you because he works a lot, is doing that just with someone online “enough” without ever having a danger of translating to “real life”?

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Originally Posted by Meowdyj

Not sure how anyone can live like that. Not being against visitation yet we all know what humans end up doing when they're in love and physically attracted to one another. Sounds more like they also have someone else on the side and are for that reason fine with it. A healthy relationship does not require any or even feel the need to wanting multiple persons. The way I was raised and what I see around me with family and friends it's definitely not normal or based on preference to have multiple romantic relationships at once.

Maybe it's different because of culture in other parts of the world? Idk.

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But surely "physical" attraction doesn't really apply when discussing the in-game relationship? I mean, it must be the case that player A found player B's character attractive, and vice-versa, but I don't see how that equates to anything physical.

Hard to give a black-and-white answer. It depends on many factors.

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Originally Posted by Antharaes

I'll bite...now let me see...Pixels vs someone you can actually touch....yeah, I can see that would be cheating...

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So, with that logic, is a LDR not cheating if you have a gf/bf? You can't touch her/him but you're still engaging with another person.

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Originally Posted by Carin-Eri

But surely "physical" attraction doesn't really apply when discussing the in-game relationship? I mean, it must be the case that player A found player B's character attractive, and vice-versa, but I don't see how that equates to anything physical.

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Depends. It can lead to outside the game?

Wait did the OPs thread about marriage actually get deleted? A thread actually got locked and removed? Here? On THIS forum? By the Twelve how far did that sink when I was gone...

Anyway, so long as everyone involved is open and knows whats happening, who are we to judge? Polyamorous relationships are just as valid as monogamous ones. If you are doing it in secret though and think that it does not 'count' ect then yeah, you are the jerk.

To me, it would be cheating. Period.