That's quite a leap buddy, and quite a terrible accusation. Also trying to grind an event has nothing to do with whether he enjoys the game or not.
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The problem is to actually find 4 blue mages with the right skills. While I've leveled my BLU, most of my friends haven't and won't. BLU is just too unpopular.
For PVP you need nobody and I think frontline-grinding is still faster to get 100 tomestones, as the "long pvp queues" don't exist right now. I hardly need to wait more then 2-3 minutes, if at all
Generally, yes. Shatter and Seize usually last in the neighborhood of 12 mins. Secure is more variable, and it's not uncommon for it to go over 15 mins. Hidden Gorge can be anything from 5 mins to full time. I don't think there's any way to play 15 matches in an hour unless the other team(s) are virtually afk the entire game.
Keep in mind that people have only less than a month to gather as much Irregular Tomestones as they possibly can to earn some rewards like the usually expensive Orchestrion songs, EX primal mounts that may or may not drop consistently, or other glam items.
As others have said earlier, they do not necessarily contribute to this so-called declining gameplay, random vote kicks, and toxicity you speak of.
I've been doing rival wings every night, nets me at least 50 tomes in about an hour and a half worth of time.