Unfaithful FC mates ANNOY me...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Super_Bee_Brian

Question... What if others take the effort to befriend you? Are you still gonna stick to solitude? :)

---

Extroverts are very good at scaring introverts away.
People aren't obligated to respond to your advances regardless of how good your intents are.
It might just be a mismatch.

Also, have you possibly projected the attitude you did in the OP in-game? Cuz that can easily scare away people.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Super_Bee_Brian

lmao.

This genuinely brought a smile to my face.

---

You know it was sarcasm right. I don't have to explain that do I? I mean that all the jokes you've put in this thread about your perfect personality are bad and pretty off putting. If this is how you talk to your recruits you're a) trying way too hard and b) offensive. Oh boy, no girl gamer has ever heard the get back in the kitchen jokes before. What year is it?

We make friends but sometimes we just need to be free to explore dude. If they want to leave they can leave, as long as I get a goodbye I'm ok.

I joined a friend's FC once and they were the Leader and I had another friend who joined us too. Long story short, the leader friend left and so did my other friend.

So I, the new leader said my goodbyes as well. I left my own FC, became a nomad and I've been hopping FCs since.

If I was in your FC, I would have loved to make friends, but that doesn't mean I have other Free Companies I want to be in too

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by BillyKaplan

Extroverts are very good at scaring introverts away.
People aren't obligated to respond to your advances regardless of how good your intents are.

Also, have you possibly projected the attitude you did in the OP in-game? Cuz that can easily scare away people.

---

See, this guy gets it.

I gotta be free as a free company

People leaving doesn't annoy me, but just leaving without saying anything is a bit rude. I'd hope there was some etiquette e.g just saying 'thanks for having me' would be nice (assuming they didn't have any negative feelings towards an fc)

I understand what you mean OP. I helped newbies and they left afterwards. So of them were also rude.

But I can also see the other side of the coin.
I have only been in 4 FC's and one of them wasnt so fun. The leader was a rule nitpicker/hypocrite on discord and ingame. I posted a gif on discord -> he warns me
His crush posted a gif -> allowed
Left after 3 weeks....

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by K1tt

People leaving doesn't annoy me, but just leaving without saying anything is a bit rude. I'd hope there was some etiquette e.g just saying 'thanks for having me' would be nice (assuming they didn't have any negative feelings towards an fc)

---

She gets it too!

I would like a Goodbye when you leave me baby. I le cri when you don't.
But seriously it makes me sad when you don't at least say goodbye.

Some just have problems with confrontations, others don't because you're just an "IRL NPC", and few just don't have the time really.

One of the two bother me

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Super_Bee_Brian

Honestly, I can\\'t come up with a reason why they\\'d leave that is in anyway MY fault. A lot of them showed great enthusiasm with joining and I heavily socialized with them for an hour! We got as far as getting to know personal details about each other. And then mysteriously, the next day, POOF! They leave

It baffles me...

And if you\\'re gonna tell me "dude, they left because they got creeped out with you getting to know personal details about them", then let me just say... No. I did not ask for their phone number and address. I\\'m invasive but not THAT invasive. lol

---

If you approach people the way this post makes it sound, then you are most likely scaring people off with your attempts to be welcoming. Especially if you think the boundary of "too invasive" is actual contact details.

If I've just joined the FC and you immediately go into a deep one-on-one "social conversation" for an hour, I'm going to be uncomfortable. Small talk is awkward and you're a complete stranger. (Plus I've had to put aside whatever I was actually doing in the game when I received and accepted the FC invite, and I might be wanting to get back to it.)

If you start asking questions about me, that's a red flag. Why do you want to know this? I don't know you, I don't know your motives and I certainly don't want to be sharing that information with someone I've just met. It's cybersafety 101.

I would most likely be quietly leaving the FC at the first possible opportunity, without announcing it lest I have to engage in further conversation as to why. Aside of generally wanting to avoid the confrontation, if you actually *did* have ulterior motives for asking personal questions then it's a matter of personal safety and common sense to not have any further involvement.



When people join the FC that I'm part of, we say hello, welcome them, tell them to ask if they have questions or need help - and that's all. They might choose to engage us in conversation, or they might just be quiet and listen for a while until they're ready to join in, but it's their choice.



Also if you're going into your interactions with the mindset (as you seem to describe in your first post) that you're giving up your valuable time for this person and they should be grateful.... well, that's not really a fair relationship, and it may well come across in the way you talk to people even if you think you're being friendly. They haven't asked for your time and they don't owe you anything. Engage with people because you like them and want to spend that time with them, not because you think you're making a deal and they should 'repay' you for your attention.

Edit to add: You "value your time", but so does the other person, and you've spent their time just as much as yours by engaging them in conversation - except you chose to do so, and they may have only responded to be polite.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Iscah

Also if you're going into your interactions with the mindset (as you seem to describe in your first post) that you're giving up your valuable time for this person and they should be grateful.... well, that's not really a fair relationship, and it may well come across in the way you talk to people even if you think you're being friendly. They haven't asked for your time and they don't owe you anything. Engage with people because you like them and want to spend that time with them, not because you think you're making a deal and they should 'repay' you for your attention.

---

TBH this entire thread has a slight "nice guy" vibe.

I mean, it's not like people swear their allegiance to you when they join your FC, so I don't really think "unfaithful" is the right word. No one is obligated to remain in the FC once they accept your invite.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Super_Bee_Brian

Question... What if others take the effort to befriend you? Are you still gonna stick to solitude? :)

---

^This is a great way to make new recruits want to leave. Not every single person on the planet is an extrovert. With all due respect, "I'm making an effort to befriend you, so why won't you accept my friendship" is some pretty flawed logic.