Anxiety over Savage

I used to raid with someone who had serious anxiety problems in savage. He was a good guy but the moment we got to the third floor of any raid ( A11/O3S) the fights ended up sending him into panic attacks and he'd have to dive. Whilst I empathised with his plight I still think that high pressure stressful content probably isn't the best choice for people who can't mentally handle it.

Ok great so you can't do savage because because this and that blah blah blah but I highly doubt people would hate you over this something so small like you seems to claim. If you happen to run into these "jerks" all the time then I'd like to think that the problem lies with you.

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Originally Posted by AppleJinx

Ok great so you can't do savage because because this and that blah blah blah but I highly doubt people would hate you over this something so small like you seems to claim. If you happen to run into these "jerks" all the time then I'd like to think that the problem lies with you.

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I feel you shouldn't just tell someone with depression and anxiety the problem is them, and he's saying he feels like people hate him. While they (his FC) are saying "It's okay" all he is hearing is "failure" and stuff. And saying "blah blah blah" Is quite rude.

I relate to how you feel OP, I have anxiety and depression, and probably a lot of other mental stuff going on. I Use FFXIV to cope and get through the day but I cant even do normal dungeons and trials without getting a little anxiety. And I cant even tank Sastasha normal without feeling like I'll just be a disappointment, and my brain will just panic. If I die I usually mutter a ton of curse words before my brain pelts me with "I'm so stupid" "That was so easy how did you die!!?" "I cant believe I messed up on this.." even though the rest of my group doesn't care I died.

Even trying Savage while having anxiety is pretty amazing to me, but if it hurts your health and causes stress, you probably shouldn't do it. And I'm sure your FC isn't at all disappointed/hate you or think you're a failure. They seem like a nice group, I'm sure if you tell them about how you get during raids they will understand and help you :)

Hello, just thought I'd throw in my 2 cents in here as someone with anxiety and depression that also happens to be a raider. I'm currently in a group that farms O5s-O8S every week and have been raiding basically nonstop since Second Coil. I main AST, which means that I get the joy of having to be flexible if things go wrong-- a job that's absolutely horrendous for people with anxiety. That being said, I absolutely love raiding. I love Savage, especially Sigmascape. And, despite how anxiety-inducing Savage gets at times, I think this is why:

1. I found a good group that understands that I have anxiety and depression. They still hold me accountable for my actions as a teammate, but they also understand how to phrase things to help me better and they give me moments to recover when I ask for them. Some of them even have their own anxieties and such. Finding like-minded people really makes the experience that much better for me, imo.

and

2. I found a job that I enjoy playing and that I'm good at. I started as a DRG main thinking I wanted to be that top tier DPS. Turns out, I was really just okay at it. It wasn't the end of the world when I realized it and I'm sure if I had stuck with it, I could've been great. But that job just took longer for me to learn how to min/max when it came to Savage versus WHM (and then, eventually, AST). So you enjoy MNK, OP? I recommend just working on it a bit more-- I love MNK too, but I find it really easy to tunnel vision on it and miss mechanics. Keep practicing or maybe explore another option? Who knows, you may find another job that you enjoy and you feel you are better at. By no means am I saying to give up MNK, if you wanna keep trying that job, then that's awesome!

I still have anxiety attacks during raid, don't get me wrong. I don't think they'll ever go away forever but raiding has helped me learn how to cope and how to manage my emotions/thoughts. I had to push myself to get there and I'm pretty proud of the progress I've made. Just keep on trying, that's the best advice I can give you. Everyone makes mistakes in raid. You can run a fight 100 times and still make mistakes. We're not machines, we're not going to have the same level of performance every time. And if people hate you for one poor performance or for having issues with a mechanic? Well, you don't wanna raid with those types of people anyways, believe me.

Also no one should ever feel bad about getting knocked off by that first ghost. It happens to everyone. It happened to me this week, as a matter of fact, and I killed O5S the first week it came out.

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Originally Posted by Sylvina

I wont blacklist someone simply for being bad at the game. I only blacklist people for being jerks.

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No need to stand on your pedestal. Someone joining a weekly clear party, dying approx. 9 times and saying not a single word, or a DPS doing sub 2k dps is in fact being a jerk to me. These players are jerks. I don't want to play with them. They get blacklisted.

Every pugging savage player knows it's a necessity.

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Originally Posted by KaldeaSahaline

Every pugging savage player knows it's a necessity.

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Yes, maintaining a "hit or shit"-list is necessary to sort out that one or two bad apples every pf group has and block the success (99% of these peeps are ppl who join parties which they don't have the practice and routine for, these are outright jerks). This raid tier all my first kills were with PUGs and I transferred my practice into the static. Content is easily clearable with PUGs, you just need some patience and you have to rigidly sort out non-improving or leeching slackers and more important you should friend (e.g. in discord) with good players.

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Originally Posted by Kakiko

You all need to get the heck out of my head. Seriously. Especially OP. I have clinically diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder and generalized depressive disorders. Not self-diagnosed. Not "I get a little nervous." These are things that have been diagnosed by several specialists over the years and things I have taken several different medications to control over the years.

I want to do savage. I really do. I know I could be good enough, but I get super anxious when I feel that I am subjectively doing worse than everyone else. Even if I know I'm at the top of the DPS list for the group, I oftentimes feel like I'm just not doing well enough.

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That could be me. I have a generalized anxiety disorder too and even if it does not impact me that much in games I can fully understand the OP. I do feel off when doing things with randoms and I put myself down quite harshly when I am doing some stupid mistakes in a fight. I would never try to do recent savage content or most of the recent extreme fights but thats more because I simply dont have enough people that will do that with me and I dont want to do it with randoms. And I kinda dont want to tank dungeons ever and even being a healer is way too stressfull..(Okay maybe it does impact the game a bit..)

OP if you have a team of nice players that will help you along the way then you can do it. :) Just try to accept that mistakes will happen and that those dont mean the end of your own life. (Anxiety does love to tell you that this is bad for your health and life) If you dont have such understanding friends than maybe its just truly better to not do it. If you do this in a good envoirement then this might help your anxiety but I am not sure if its that good for you if you have a lot of negative experiences and maybe even horrible people. This could maybe even make your condition worse and I am not sure if a game is important enough to risk that.

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Originally Posted by AppleJinx

Ok great so you can't do savage because because this and that blah blah blah but I highly doubt people would hate you over this something so small like you seems to claim. If you happen to run into these "jerks" all the time then I'd like to think that the problem lies with you.

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That really can only come from someone who never suffered from deep anxiety. For those who suffer under it, its not about it being real but the mind telling us that it might be that way. Its a constant battle against your own mind telling you certain things. Its not easy to not just care about the stuff others said. When you for the first time truly suffer from an anxiety attack where your mind tells you that you are dieing even though you only hurt because of your back and not the heart then you might understand it. But I would never wish something like that on others. The constant fear of an attack itself and the feeling that you are dieing because your mind tells you things. Its not pleasant and its not just explained easily and its definetly far away from rational.

Find seven other people who are fun to be around, and wont crucify you for making mistakes during prog and don't buy into the raid scene epeen contest. You're just psyching yourself out. If you want to raid, then do it. If you fail, good but learn from your mistakes and grow. You might have some fun. Unless you're doing week one progression where there is little or no guides out, there are tons of resources for you to pour over and learn from. You'll find when you raid long enough it becomes muscle memory and the timings just come like clockwork.

When you join a group that's functional and farming content you can form some very strong, lasting friendships for years and have a sense of belonging, but also have sense of pride and accomplishment for your peers, like when your healer manages gold for the first time or the nerd screams when you finally beat a boss that's been kicking you in the teeth. There are a lot of positive aspects to raiding you can take home with, like discipline, critical thinking and peer bonding. Every one in my group helps to stock up on consumables for weeklies, and crafts gear for their mains at the start of a patch. Granted the raiding experience can be limited when you pug, and frustrating but that's why finding a static you mesh with and can grow together with is so very important. It takes time, and sometimes feels a bit like a job interview but when you find one that's right for you it can help to curve the anxiety because you're also making progress with people who are important to you. Though if you honestly feel its wrong for you, that's okay too there are plenty of things to do in game besides savage content.