this may come as a shock to a fair few of you but there's a difference between being identity friendly and meeting the minimum levels of politeness as a person or a group.
me being able to joke about fray being genderfluid like me because their pronouns depend on the gender of the wol (I'll avoid spoilers here) makes my fc queer friendly. if the person I was talking to went "ummmmmm, ACTUALLY if you paid attention the reason for that is _______ so that's why fray is normal and not like you sjw snowflake genders" yeah that's not very friendly is it