Voice chat and anxiety

If you met me irl, I would probably be one of the most silent and introverted people you've ever met. You wouldn't be able to guess that based on how I speak on voice chats. It probably took me a good month or so of just listening to people talk on voice chat and replying to them with the in-game chat before I started to speak myself. I mean, look at me now, people requesting for me to call raids and actively taking a leading role when trying to work out kinks in progression content. I never thought I'd be doing what I do back when I started playing this game 2 and a half years ago. My point is, it comes with time if you're shy about it, a good start is to just listen to people and use the in-game chat to respond. I'm gonna second what Eight said, listen to people and get a feel for their personality and if you like being around them, maybe you'll talk, maybe you won't. I've wound up in PF parties with someone I do not like and that party is also using a voice chat and I'll usually go silent or just up and leave the party. Otherwise I'll be quiet for a bit until I've got a bit of a feel for what the people I'm in a party with are like.

Yep. My accent sucks terribly, even so nobody cares. As long as theyre able to understand me. Worst case, when they're not able to understand me I simply write.

So I wouldn't be anxious if I were you.

My girlfriend (before she was my girlfriend) was extremely shy and would make excuses to not join all the time. I told her about how much fun we had in TS and she joined and had a blast. We started dating a few weeks after that. We've been together for over a year and live together quite happily now.

Finally had time to edit this, so the point of my post was, in your own time you may consider giving it a try just to help facilitate friendly relations with your group. And worse comes to worst you can always just stay muted. The main reason voice chat is used in raiding is callouts

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Originally Posted by Lemuria

You know, if someone asked to 'call' me, I'd tell them they're crossing a boundary so I'm going to assume they meant VOIP. Honestly, for my part I hate using voice chat for two reasons. Firstly, I don't really identify with the voice I hear (seriously, hearing your own voice recorded and played back is weird -- I'm not that squeaky am I?). Secondly, voice chat is unfiltered and I have two young children I would rather not have overhear, especially given some of the conversations that have gone on in chat before.

If you're not comfortable with voice chat, don't let yourself be pressured or bullied into it by anyone. Stand your ground and just tell them politely that you're not interested. They'll give up eventually.

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TBH, you don't hear your own voice in voice chat (unless you've got bad echoing from someone, of course), but... The best response in your case would probably be, "Sorry, don't have a headset." ^^;


For OP (and the rest of you, of course ♥), there's so much good advice in this thread ^^ I have issues similar to social anxiety, except for me it's just that social interaction (especially with strangers) takes more energy than for most people due to body language dyslexia (aka Asperger's). Was misdiagnosed for a while with SAD, even though it was pretty clear to me that my issues weren't quite the same.
My experiences with TS started with having a personal server for just me and my flatmate, since we both play the game. While we sit in the same room, it's annoying to have to sit with one side of the headphones/headset off in order to be able to talk to each other, so... we tried out various kinds of voice chats till we found TS. Then... at some point we decided to invite one of our best friends into our private server.

Now, we regularly use it with our own FC, but those are people we've known for... over a year. We have one FC member who's muted 95% of the time (mainly due to people sleeping in his house) and others who have issues with getting microphones to work (or using phone app of TS, with bad reception). Of course, I have no way of knowing if those reasons really are the way they claim or if they just don't want to talk but don't know how to say it, but either way it's their decision. (On a random note, I also have allergy issues, so I frequently mute myself in order to blow my nose or cough or something... And then forget I muted myself. Hence the most common thing said in our voice sessions are "Cal, you're muted" xD since my flatmate hears me saying something outside of the headphones but not via voice chat.)

Regarding the PC/PS discussion, there's so far no app that exists to connect both types of players. Either the console players have to use a side application (via phone or laptop or something) to get PC chat, or the PC players have to start up their PS4 and enter into a party chat with the console people. We've done both, since we have some players on PS4, and some people who have both but play FFXIV on PC.

I suggest finding out which option the group you're looking at is using, then ask if you could go into voice chat with just one or two of them, and either say that you have social anxiety (so you'll be muted) and don't do well with lots of new people at once, or just say that you don't have a working microphone if you're not comfortable telling them straight out. Start ut slowly, like others have suggested. Most people I know would be okay with introducing people new to voice chat to it slowly, instead of jumping in at the deep end.
(Though, if you feel that the group would understand, the best option is to tell them you have social anxiety because that also opens up the possibility for you to tell them -- if it's something you think might happen -- that due to this you might need to drop out of voice chat unexpectedly to calm down.)

Good luck with finding a team who'll respect you and your issues ♥

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Originally Posted by WinterLuna

What helped me on Teamspeak was downloading an add on that changed my voice. Then they're not really listening to YOU. :)

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o_o There's add on to change your voice? I just knew this :eek: Is it only for Teamspeak?

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Originally Posted by Eul

o_o There's add on to change your voice? I just knew this :eek: Is it only for Teamspeak?

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There is! I don't remember the name of it unfortunately nor whether it's for Teamspeak only, but it had a couple of voice changers like high pitched, low pitched, robotic etc. I used to get a little feedback so I could hear the sound of my voice and I absolutely hated it so this helped amazingly. Just don't use a way too high pitched one and have everyone burst into laughter while you're raiding :p

Edit: I think it's called Clownfish plug in :)

For raid usually you really only need to be able to listen to instructions and call outs. I've met a lot of people who don't talk for various reasons (no mic, shy, sick, lots of background noise, etc) and type responses in-game, nobody thinks anything of it though as long as they're still in the voip and listening.

If you have a speech impediment or an accent (or both) you can request before-hand that nobody comments on them, should you choose to talk... although be prepared for those few who can't help but light-heartedly tease you a bit about it anyways. I stutter, and I'm also French and have issues with 'th' sounds (other sounds like udder, three sounds like tree, etc), sometimes people poke fun and while I know they're not trying to be mean, it still hurts. Just tell them firmly to stop, and hope they respect that.

... should your voice not match your preferred gender, however, you might have to never talk ever ever ever or get a voice changer, otherwise you will be misgendered forevermore because people will never listen to you when you say "I don't see myself as X because (valid reasons) so I would rather be referred to as (opposite gender pronoun)". Trust me on this.

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Originally Posted by raela

If they aren't ok with you typing back, they're jerks.

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I wouldn't quite go to that extreme, if there are mechanics in a fight that you are dealing with solo it's always helpful to call them out. For your team to want you to do that is hardly unreasonable.

But like a lot of people have said, just start with listening and maybe saying hello only. There are a lot of people who use TS for raiding and don't get involved in conversations but instead just callout what they need to and that's it. Usually when you're more comfortable with your surroundings you'll feel more willing to speak. As for this chat voice modifier thing, I'd probably avoid that. Yeah they won't hear your actual voice but it sounds like it would draw more attention to you, and I don't think that's what you're after.

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Originally Posted by Kabzy

for this chat voice modifier thing, I'd probably avoid that. Yeah they won't hear your actual voice but it sounds like it would draw more attention to you, and I don't think that's what you're after.

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Depends what kind of anxiety you have and what causes it. If it's just a fear of others hearing your voice or speaking, it works great. However if you're more afraid of conversing in general, I agree it's probably not the best idea. For me, it was just the voice part, as I have a pretty unique British accent and was speaking to Americans on a NA server. I would have stood out more without the voice changer.

You don't need to speak to anyone OP. In fact the beauty of this game is that you don't need anyone at all. Just log in and let the silence roll over you. Works for me.