when either of those has a -20% on healing, you can use that argument.
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That's debatable, because you sometimes have to sacrifice your precious DPS to save others or the whole situation. Having top DPS in a run is pointless if your lack of support causes a wipe. For example, the healer running out of MP, even if he derped it with his MP, they have you to fix that mistake or try to help him.
If the DPS pulls a monster, they have ME to fix that mistake and pull the monster back to me. It's all about teamwork. I, as a BLM, had to stop my DPS to cast Eye for an Eye or Virus if I need to. Heck! I even had to "physick" if the healer dies! I've got stoneskin on my PLD, and I had to spam it on the warrior because the healer died or he ran out of MP. We have utilities and the DPS, even if it's important, it's only part of your role. Being DPS doesn't mean that you have to deal the most damage, but if you see that your class includes some utilities, which are intended for some teamwork, even if you sacrifice some DPS (that means balance), use them.
A DPS's job being to maintain damage is correct. However, your forgetting what a bard is. A while back (like 5 big updates ago) SE nerfed the bard's damage output in an attempt to get bards to feel more like a utility job rather then a pure damage job. Heck, even a bard's limit break isn't a damage dealing one. The game only has 3 "roles" to label jobs with. It sure as heck isn't a tank or a healer. SE tried (poorly) to make bard more obvious as a support job.
You could have potentially prevented a wipe and/or made the healer's job less stressful at a clutch moment, but you had the most DPS! Class utility? Fexibility? Getting the win? Screw those, right? Everyone's dead, but you had the most DPS! Congratulations, that really made the difference!
I don't care if a bard never sings.
I do, however, find it extremely annoying when I end up with one of those Legolas bards in my party who think they can solo the entire place. Go ahead and play in your own vacuum then, Legolas.
The OP as well mentioned very specific situations where bards should use their songs but they don't. I guess it would be better if the dev team introduces a true archer/ranger class, so you don't have to be tied to this burden. Sadly, as a bard, you'll be asked and obligated to do that, because it's in your utility list and it helps the party. Of course you'll have people requesting you to play songs on pointless situations, I'm aware that it's not all unicorns and rainbows in DF/PF.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but right now there isn't any support roles yet in duty finder? Right? Until they fix that for bard it'll always be a dps, and I pride myself as being a good damage dealing bard due to my dps, of course I play songs but when it's needed, not when it's magically expected, I'll play foes whenever I can but when you expect a ballad make a macro and ask for it, focusing on dps is a job and it's not soemthing I expect people to understand who don't try to maximize their roles to its absolute potential, as in dps, sorry to sound smart ass