FFXIV Girls only discord server

I joined an "all girls" guild on another game and their verification process was simply to ask if you identified as a girl. Not in voice chat, just a written question wherever you happened to contact them (forums, Discord, in game, etc). That was it.

Were there men in the group pretending to be women? Maybe. The moderators understood though that making sure no one was harassed or taken advantage of was more important. As long as you followed the rules no one worried about who might have lied to get invited in. That group was truly free from judgement because no one was told their voice was too deep, that they didn't look feminine enough in a photo, or that they used improper pronouns. We were all queens.

From what I've seen on this thread sounds like this group could learn a thing or two from them.

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Originally Posted by Xrystofer

Because I choose not to go. If women don't want to be seen naked by men I can respect that. However, telling me that I can't enter a social place simply because of my gender rather than being judged by my actions is the definition of sexism.

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Okay, so if you ever decide to enter a women's bathroom we should check your social score and base our decision on your actions. Or should we do a poll? Like what does it even mean "being judged by my actions"? Who are you? Nobody's judging you by your actions lol. This isn't a medal for a war veteran we're talking about here. Wake the f' up and stop being salty. The most creepy thing in this thread is a seething man crying because some women didn't allow him in their place. Please leave them alone lol

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Originally Posted by Xrystofer

What I am not okay with is the blatant sexism against men.

Judge people by their actions, not their gender.

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I am about to judge this man based on his actions and he's not gonna like it.

I really don't care about private discord servers but sexist and discriminatory ones shouldn't be advertised here.

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Originally Posted by CrayonsAndPaint

That discord server honestly reeks of 30 - 45 year old miserable and alone women that just want to make some weird “girls only” club. Arent you guys too old to be doing that?

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I don't think any generalization should specifically be attributed to any particular age group or even sex. All around, people are people.

Guys, I'm just gonna come out and say it - this whole "women-only" thing doesn't work on the internet. There are too many trolls who will make it impossible for this to EVER work. Cancel culture has made sure of that. It takes zero effort to pretend you're a woman, and then attack people for refusing to play along. The fact that people are going after this server so vehemently is proof of this. It doesn't matter if the people they turned down were "actually trans people".

Now, having said that, there is one approach you could have taken that would have been A LOT better. Your mistake was trying to create a place like this and make it "public".

The best you could have hoped for is a closed server in which the people inside vouch for outsiders, and are held responsible for the people they invite. The beauty about this system is that, once you do it like this, you will realize that you don't need to gender-lock things in order to have a "safe space". But even if you DID want to gender-lock, you can trust the people already in there are women, and that they would only invite other women.

I've been in all sorts of Discord servers before. I've seen extremely good servers go to shit because the owners decided they wanted to grow, and started posting invite links everywhere. I'm here to tell you you can't have it both ways.

Also, it's not sexual discrimination if women want to have their own space and not deal with men.

A girl - but what is the point of girls only? Seriously not being rude just honestly wonder? Is it just sexist or is there more to it? Was it some issues someone had to feel safe? Not a councilor (shocking right) but I know one that said some with various issues seek safe places. Could that maybe be it? If it is just gender issues or elitism its wrong, if someone has some real issues though that is a different matter and should be ok because some have a need to feel safe. Just trying to see things from all angles.

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Originally Posted by Aelin_Ashryver

Personally like the sound of an all female gaming space. To those saying women judge too sure that is true. But you sound very much like someone who does not understand the desire to want a space away from men, this can be for many reasons be it as severe as abuse or simply wanting to enjoy female company without as many worries. And same for people not understanding the verification, there is no shortage of creepy men who try and enter women's spaces. I had plenty dude's pretend to be female as means to try and get closer to me or other girls.
Some of the conversations I have listened to men having just makes me uncomfortable how easily they will compare women like bits of meat and speak about us like nothing more than animals meant for a quick shag and to be mocked after the fact. Other men will simply not take no for an answer and you end up with a stalker. It happens so often that a break from being in a shared space of men can be desirable at times. Doesn't mean I dislike all men, sometimes I just enjoy the company of other women without worrying about men's comments or actions.

Issues in this discord aside, the idea is a nice one and I hope that the owner and mods can fix the security concerns.

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So... react?

Instead of moping around, and retreating into your own "safe space": speak up. Point out to men who disrespect women that they are acting like horny teenagers. Educate your friends around you, to give more support to these demands.

By deserting community spaces, you are letting those who wish you weren't there win.

So much for the little activist rant (which is still sincere, though).

But in concrete terms: beware of the ambient paranoia. Do harassment and dirty jokes exist on MMORPGs? Of course it does. Are they omnipresent? I don't think so. Be careful not to do like those people who had ONE toxic experience in a dungeon, and conclude that the whole community is to blame.

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Originally Posted by Theox

The most creepy thing in this thread is a seething man crying because some women didn't allow him in their place. Please leave them alone lol

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Maybe you didn't get the memo. I have no intention or interest of entering a sexist discord and socialize with sexists, even if I was allowed. You are simply attempting to mischaracterize me to promote your agenda.

Make an actual attempt to steelman what I am saying rather than creating a strawman to attack it. Furthermore, women are strong and independant. They don't need white knights and simps to defend them. They can defend themselves on the internet.


Have a nice day.

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Originally Posted by Merrigan

So... react?

Instead of moping around, and retreating into your own "safe space": speak up. Point out to men who disrespect women that they are acting like horny teenagers. Educate your friends around you, to give more support to these demands.

By deserting community spaces, you are letting those who wish you weren't there win.

So much for the little activist rant (which is still sincere, though).

But in concrete terms: beware of the ambient paranoia. Do harassment and dirty jokes exist on MMORPGs? Of course it does. Are they omnipresent? I don't think so. Be careful not to do like those people who had ONE toxic experience in a dungeon, and conclude that the whole community is to blame.

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And although it seems to be a taboo, "crabs in a bucket" situation, if someone harasses you based on your gender in-game, report them. It's among the prohibited activities. If you see discriminatory behavior, take action against it. It helps everyone, not just yourself.

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Originally Posted by Shironeko_Narunyan

Nah, you're comparing an attempt to create a space where gamer girls, a minority in a male-dominated world,

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Do you have some facts to prove this statement? pretty sure you're just pulling this thought out of your head, as last I actually read is that women aren't a minority in gaming anymore and it's not been that way for years, what you may be thinking of is that females don't tend to let them selves be known at random that they're a female (especially on games with comms) due to how an unfortunate set of males my act upon figuring that out, and the assumption is "male until proven female", now what may still be dominated is male games developers in where it's still not a nice split with male to female developers.

I'm curious as to how they even verify that only women are in the server. "Voice verification" isn't worth much these days. Just check out a few VRChat videos on youtube and you'll see how sophisticated some of the voice changers are these days. You've got 30 year old guys sounding like a teenage girl and vice versa, and it's damn near impossible to tell.

Just here to reiterate what's been said a million times and that's that women only spaces on the internet will absolutely never exist
It'll never exist. Trolls will get in or at least one girl will have to drag her drooling boyfriend in and after that the others want to bring in theirs too and just like that we're stuck with exactly what we were trying to avoid in the first place. Just like that you have them slipping into dms and threatening to throw themselves off buildings if you or one of the other girls don't coddle and convince him he's handsome/charming/cute/whatever he's delusional enough to want to hear. It never pans out and it's never worth it. Don't do it. Don't bother. If you want it, you just meet a couple other women and invite them to your own group. You'll never have a huge womens space, but you can sure make a small one and keep it safe. So just do that instead.

I smell a really bad clique... hated them in school ain't touching them as a 40 year old woman...

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Originally Posted by Merrigan

So... react?

Instead of moping around, and retreating into your own "safe space": speak up. Point out to men who disrespect women that they are acting like horny teenagers. Educate your friends around you, to give more support to these demands.

By deserting community spaces, you are letting those who wish you weren't there win.

So much for the little activist rant (which is still sincere, though).

But in concrete terms: beware of the ambient paranoia. Do harassment and dirty jokes exist on MMORPGs? Of course it does. Are they omnipresent? I don't think so. Be careful not to do like those people who had ONE toxic experience in a dungeon, and conclude that the whole community is to blame.

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Who said I don't? Do you realise how hard that is to do in certain environments such as your workplace where retribution is often rampant? Frankly, the belittlement of the "safe space" is uncalled for, I am not in the mood to constantly be correcting the crap that people spew on a daily basis. Nor should I be obligated to.

I am not deserting the community spaces, you can be in more than one community jesus. Literally said so many times it is for a BREAK from all of that. Not a total escape. My fc discord is full of wonderful and varied people and I am glad of it.

One toxic experience... ONE. Are you serious? For a short list of my exp with men online these past years, I had a pedophile send me nudes at 14, I have had about 5 separate men try and convince me to move to the middle east and have their children, others condemn me for not living a religious life, I have had dozens of stalkers, I have had western men vilify me in my community for not accepting their advances, calling me whore and a tease when I had made VERY clear my lack of interest. I still get 3 different dude's sending me dm's at random once a year without fail. Excuse me wanting a break from people such as this. And hell even then I am not a part of that discord nor any women's only discord. I just can understand people wanting to have such a place.

I do not think men in general or gamers are awful, but there sure as hell is a LARGE portion of these communities that have serious social failings.

Shocker. A discord full of girls(?) and no women with a ounce of maturity. Did not see this coming. Would be nice if they were honest with their intentions. But that would require some integrity. This thread was entertaining at least.

Years ago when I first started I was invited to a Femroe Sisterhood linkshell on the basis of we enjoyed playing as the rarest race in the game. Never joined it but it was innocent and pure in hindsight. This seems like anything but.

Given what goes on without even joining this isn't a red flag. It's a red flag parade.

And MMOS are about bringing people of all kinds together. Seems a little ridiculous to create a all girl space. Have fun peacocking each other I guess.

ah the Amazon Worshipper, Melanie hath appeared.

I know others have said it, but for your own general safety do not join that server lol its very sussy

This is my opinion on this entire thread.

Who cares? Make your dumb girls only club.

Who cares? How does her dumb all girls club affect you at all?

Ahh that Discord that used the Titania logo header, whom is not even she/her.

Women, stay away from these servers. Anything that includes gender and 18+ is a massive red flag. You can be sure the person behind it has some ulterior motives.

And why does it even matter what gender the person is? We're all playing the game for fun, stop segregating people and dividing the community even more.

This might have been better posted on Reddit. Too many fools here.

How the fuck does a thread for a girls only discord invite transphobia.

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Originally Posted by FedoraTheExplorer

How the fuck does a thread for a girls only discord invite transphobia.

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Because some people believe trans women are real women

This Forum must really have no moderators if this thread is still going.

I thought it was a meme.

I'm still 1400 in queue. I wanna see where this train takes us. This is schoolgirl level forum shitposting and it's an appetite for my eyes to behold.

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Originally Posted by FedoraTheExplorer

How the fuck does a thread for a girls only discord invite transphobia.

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Because in today’s world we go out of our way to find outrage.

Hmm I guess I should tell him he can’t have a man cave anymore because it’s sexist lol. Omg you guys make me laugh so much. This tea is piping hot for real.

Honestly I don’t think I’d ever join an all female discord because I love talking to men to much (wink wink) hehe.

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Originally Posted by Cadmar

Because in today’s world we go out of our way to find outrage.

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Often in a rather selective manner, I've noticed.

It's also interesting to me to see so many posters spout the exact same phrases as well. 'Yikes' being a common example.

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Originally Posted by Maxilor

This Forum must really have no moderators if this thread is still going.

I thought it was a meme.

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They will lock it soon.

This thread only reaffirms my belief that Emet-Selch was right.

Lul. I made a twitter account just to read those tweets.

I mean I'm fine with rules & discrimination and all when it comes to online & free spaces but jesus they're so incompetent. Straight boomers who run discord like teamspeak.


Making a welcome channel until verified? "Too much work. Faster to let the mods ban people."

Sad.

'I'm fine with discrimination'

What.

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Originally Posted by Vahlnir

This thread only reaffirms my belief that Emet-Selch was right.

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The Ascian's did nothing wrong!

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Originally Posted by FedoraTheExplorer

'I'm fine with discrimination'

What.

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and then she says "when it comes to online and free spaces"

Sometimes I feel so dejected trying to hold onto some Libertarian ideals while everyone around me seems to be going mad and authoritarian. This might shock you but lots of people tend to have a live and let live attitude and don't feel the need to invade the spaces of others.

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Originally Posted by Avatre

The Ascian's did nothing wrong!

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They were trying to recruit Ascians/Ancients only for their safe Etheyris space. And now they're gone. Whoops.

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Originally Posted by FrogDog

and then she says "when it comes to online and free spaces"

Sometimes I feel so dejected trying to hold onto some Libertarian ideals while everyone around me seems to be going mad and authoritarian. This might shock you but lots of people tend to have a live and let live attitude and don't feel the need to invade the spaces of others.

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Buddy discrimination is discrimination whether its on the Internet or not.

I think you need to clear your head because all you give me is word salad. Go outside, get some fresh air and touch some grass.

This is why I abhorrently dislike "boy/girl-only" groups. Are we in 2nd grade, now? ...No? Then stop it. Genders come in MORE than just two types, and some even blend together. Plus, with the things I have heard in this thread and on Twitter, this group appears to be managed very distastefully. Do better; it doesn't matter what gender a person is.

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Originally Posted by Kyousha

Genders come in MORE than just two types, and some even blend together.

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That's subjective.

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Originally Posted by FedoraTheExplorer

Buddy discrimination is discrimination whether its on the Internet or not.

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Discrimination & Systemic Discrimination are not the same thing.

You're talking about systemic discrimination, I'm talking about discrimination.

Don't conflate the two.

Rules discriminate against those who do not follow them.

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Originally Posted by Nekaru_Infitima

That's subjective.

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no
it is not
lmao