How to stop a stalker?

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Originally Posted by Symphony42

So apparently this goofball is still at it. I was spiritbonding and saw his character walk up to me using Stealth, then proceeded to spam crying and cheering emotes, followed by dancing. This was right after they were seen by a FC member doing emote spams near them in another map, so this tells me that it is a deliberate action to be following not only me, but probably...

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I'm told he does it for role play purposes.. And gets upset when people don't respect his RP. The problem is not everyone rp's and you can't force them to do such.. :\

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Originally Posted by TeaTimeBear

I'm told he does it for role play purposes.. And gets upset when people don't respect his RP. The problem is not everyone rp's and you can't force them to do such.. :\

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is it liable to report someone for "disturbing the peace?"

either that or you can tell him to transfer to balmung.

Just photoshop the most ugliest mug you can and show it to him...

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Originally Posted by TeaTimeBear

I'm told he does it for role play purposes.. And gets upset when people don't respect his RP. The problem is not everyone rp's and you can't force them to do such.. :\

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I'm sorry but that's not RP.

Edit: and him calling it as such is a little insulting and offensive to people who do RP I imagine.

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Originally Posted by Symphony42

I won't say the name of this person, to prevent giving them more attention (I'm sure you can guess if you're on Midgar), but they've become a real creep and won't get the message that I want nothing to do with them. I've sent a harassment report already, and will send more each time I see this person stalking me.

So how do I get rid of a stalker that won't take a direct message to go away?

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Funny because I know exactly who you're talking about. I think i was in a party with you and Novus and they found you.

But back OT sounds like you've already done all you can. Only thing now is to ignore that person. It feeds them knowing that it gets to you and that you acknowledge them. I'd fiddle with some chat log settings too, just so you don't see the Emote spam at least. Show a predator your weakness, and they'll keep coming after you.

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Originally Posted by Taruranto

This creepy story from FFXI comes to mind.

http://gathzel.livejournal.com/748.html

But really OP, I suggest ignore them for now, even if they follow you around it won't ammount to much in a world of instances and fast teleport.

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Very interesting read, psychologically speaking of course.

I hate to say it, but you could of prevented this if you took initiative. Friend or stranger I'll tell them straight up if they continue what they're doing I'll block them. For an example I say *I don't do it to you so don't do it to me* I don't let problems prolong for a long time and I solve it as quick as possible before it gets worst. I've seen so many stories as yours and it's depressing because you didn't take initiative before it got worst. It's okay to be nice especially for a friend I know, but when it comes to situations like these. You have to put your foot down or they'll forever walk over you.

I'll be honest the only time I had to use the report button is when a stranger *pvp* started using vulgar language nonstop spamming. I blocked them alright, but then reported after because the player already sealed their fate.

GM call until something is done. It's harrassment, and you shouldn't have to put up with it. He's breaking ToS by griefing you, so hang in there until you get a GM that understands how annoying (and frankly scary) this sort of behaviour can be. XIV's ToS is more-or-less identical to FFXI's, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that what he's doing is against it. Someone used to hassle me in XI, and I got their ass suspended twice with reports, which eventually led to a ban.

You have to report him to make it stop. You can be as nice as pie to people like that, you can hope they understand how much it annoys you, or you can just hope they'll get bored and move on, but the only thing people like that really understand is you either exploding at them because your patience has run out (leaving you open to retaliation with their own GM call, possibly suspending you based on the severity of your explosion) and the same thing happening until you either create a new character to get away from him or quit the game - or a GM call from you which will lead to a suspension for him.

The behaviour's unacceptable, and shouldn't be treated as acceptable. If you get an unsympathetic GM, keep calling.

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Originally Posted by Turbotailz86

I hate to say it, but you could of prevented this if you took initiative. Friend or stranger I'll tell them straight up if they continue what they're doing I'll block them. For an example I say *I don't do it to you so don't do it to me* I don't let problems prolong for a long time and I solve it as quick as possible before it gets worst. I've seen so many stories as yours and it's depressing because you didn't take initiative before it got worst. It's okay to be nice especially for a friend I know, but when it comes to situations like these. You have to put your foot down or they'll forever walk over you.

I'll be honest the only time I had to use the report button is when a stranger *pvp* started using vulgar language nonstop spamming. I blocked them alright, but then reported after because the player already sealed their fate.

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This is a good approach for the right situation, but in the OP's case it appears they simply can't take a hint...

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Originally Posted by Musashidon

hang out with them and become great friends, then they aren't a stalker anymore and just a good friend!

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Sorry for the 25 troll lovers who liked it, but this, besides being obviously trollish, is one of the worst advices ever.

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/....net_14077.jpg

For all I know, continuing to force any kind of communication (so, including emotes etc.) on a player who has blacklisted you IS harassment and should be reported.

It appears that Chad (his real name) refuses to acknowledge that I want to be left alone. I've made dozens of GM reports on him, and he's just insistent on pursuing me for some reason.

Chad has some sort of mental illness, he must. I can't see how a normal person would become this obsessive over a game character.

Ignore him :/
Even in real life you just pretend you dont see this persone I wish I have mute or block option in RL like I do here lol .

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Originally Posted by Symphony42

I made several posts showing things he's said to me about me and others, and really would think a person with an ounce of sense would get the message that if he left me alone this would all go away.

Chad has some sort of mental illness, he must. I can't see how a normal person would become this obsessive over a game character.

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Just ignore, and by that I mean literally everything and anything in game. Don't take screenshots and publicly show it nor talk about them, because what good does that do you besides giving attention to said person. Ignore, report, just think of it as another rmt and pretend it doesn't exist until it doesn't. Now if this starts happening in RL, that's a completely different story, and I don't think myself or anyone else for that matter needs to tell you what needs to be done at that point. They'll go away eventually(most likely suspended or banned for continuous harrassment or just stop themselves).

The fact that its still ongoing after a month with no GM intervention is a little distressing.

After reading those blog entries, I think I will cringe at full caps "friends" and "fun" words, and emoticons, for at least a month...

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Originally Posted by Bluevann

After reading those blog entries, I think I will cringe at full caps "friends" and "fun" words, and emoticons, for at least a month...

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Oh yeah those make my skin crawl. If I had viewed it in any other context i'd have just assumed they were playing it up.

Question is what did you do to cause him to be this clingy, I mean you just don't join and stand in one spot or not say anything for him to stalk you.

If nothing is done switch servers or buy a fantasia and ask for a name change.

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Originally Posted by HeroSamson

Question is what did you do to cause him to be this clingy, I mean you just don't join and stand in one spot or not say anything for him to stalk you.

If nothing is done switch servers or buy a fantasia and ask for a name change.

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They should not have to change servers or anything. The other person should be banned, it should not be on the victim to spend money or change their server or appearance or names if they like them.

You know if you collect enough e stalkers, you can probably have them build you a giant golden statue. Maybe even form a religion around you, just saying. Make them farm shards for you or whatever. Keep them busy.

I dont get it, why do you even care about it? You are bothering the support, because you are not able to ignore a pixelated character standing next to you.
Call me a troll or whatever, but honestly, this is my opinion. i dont even understand why you get so much support on such bs.

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Originally Posted by Charisma

I dont get it, why do you even care about it? You are bothering the support, because you are not able to ignore a pixelated character standing next to you.
Call me a troll or whatever, but honestly, this is my opinion. i dont even understand why you get so much support on such bs.

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See someone standing next to you in game, switch to tank, and queue for roulette! lol, they can't msg you in dungeon lolz.

Anyway, the main question is, what did the OP do to lead this person on like this? I know there are a lot of girls in games that like to state to the world that they are a girl. It would be creepy if the OP was a guy and told the stalker countless times they there were a heterosexual guy and are not interested in him.

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Originally Posted by Taruranto

This creepy story from FFXI comes to mind.

http://gathzel.livejournal.com/748.html

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That is almost worth of a creepypasta...

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Originally Posted by kidvideo

how about "btw, i'm a dude irl & in my 30's... so... what's up?"

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Best advice ever. Usually sends them running away..usually.

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Originally Posted by Taruranto

This creepy story from FFXI comes to mind.

http://gathzel.livejournal.com/748.html

But really OP, I suggest ignore them for now, even if they follow you around it won't ammount to much in a world of instances and fast teleport.

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This makes me sad and scared. The poor person who got stalked paid the same price as the stalker.

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Originally Posted by Titor

They should not have to change servers or anything. The other person should be banned, it should not be on the victim to spend money or change their server or appearance or names if they like them.

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Not getting the full story.

In FFXI ive seen dudes fork over loads of gil to chicks then chicks dump them when they run dry and claim they are being stalked.
Even getting help through game and getting promises to them and then disappear and guys go looking for them because of those promises.

Someone don't stalk for no reason unless something happened, like I said you just don't join shell and guy goes banana's over a girl character that looks like all the rest.

if they are telling the truth, then the guy is crazy but that's hard to believe when every model in game is the same or they let them know they were a girl in real life or gave some reason.

I have seen people jump servers, quit and even make post about how they were used and followed the person telling them sorry and they GM them.

Don't wanna give name because why? so someone dont get the other side of the story.

unless they are actually crazy, though how did the guy actually find out they were a girl and I mean everyone looks like everyone not many models to choose from I mean wouldn't you assume that if he seen someone exactly the same he would assume they were a girl also.

unless he was told something or something was promised or done in order for him to latch on.

sorry that's how I see it.

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Originally Posted by HeroSamson

Don't wanna give name because why? so someone dont get the other side of the story.

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Everything else you said aside (showing nothing but your callousness towards, and stereotyping of the situation), they didn't want to give the name because doing so could get them banned from the forums on a temp or permanent basis.

May want to look up SE forum rules before assuming some did something for a reason you find nefarious (in this case for calling individuals out by name).

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Originally Posted by AzakaTonnerre

Everything else you said aside (showing nothing but your callousness towards, and stereotyping of the situation), they didn't want to give the name because doing so could get them banned from the forums on a temp or permanent basis. May want to look up SE forum rules (in this case for calling individuals out) before assuming some did something for a reason you find nefarious.

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Doesn't matter, it's hard to believe.

I ain't doing something you guys are all doing, jumping the gun on someone who you guys already branded a stalker without knowing who the person is or getting the other half of the story.

Unless you know this is true, which you do not. don't brand someone if you don't know the whole story.

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Originally Posted by HeroSamson

Not getting the full story.

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It's true, we're not. But following someone around being a pest is never really justified.

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Originally Posted by HeroSamson

In FFXI ive seen dudes fork over loads of gil to chicks then chicks dump them when they run dry and claim they are being stalked.
Even getting help through game and getting promises to them and then disappear and guys go looking for them because of those promises.

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While this probably happens sometimes, it's an anecdotal example and is symptomatic of a different problem which can be verified through chat logs by a GM.

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Originally Posted by HeroSamson

Someone don't stalk for no reason unless something happened, like I said you just don't join shell and guy goes banana's over a girl character that looks like all the rest.

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Many stalkers suffer from profound mental illness that can give root to obsession with little or no catalyst or basis.

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Originally Posted by HeroSamson

if they are telling the truth, then the guy is crazy but that's hard to believe when every model in game is the same or they let them know they were a girl in real life or gave some reason.

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The focus of obsession can be many different things not just the physical beauty of one's character model. You're really pigeonholing the situation.

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Originally Posted by HeroSamson

I have seen people jump servers, quit and even make post about how they were used and followed the person telling them sorry and they GM them.

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Anecdotal again, this is not necessarily what happens in every scenario.

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Originally Posted by HeroSamson

Don't wanna give name because why? so someone dont get the other side of the story.

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As someone pointed out to you they don't want to name and shame on the forums as they can get in trouble for that. If you do just a little bit of research you can figure out who is being talked about.

And the long and the short of it is yes, we dont have the full story so you should keep the victim shaming and generalizations of the situation to yourself.

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Originally Posted by Nephera

we dont have the full story so you should keep the victim shaming and generalizations of the situation to yourself.

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If this is how you feel, then this topic should of never been created.

lol i know who the OP is talking about xD

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Originally Posted by HeroSamson

Someone don't stalk for no reason unless something happened, like I said you just don't join shell and guy goes banana's over a girl character that looks like all the rest.

if they are telling the truth, then the guy is crazy but that's hard to believe when every model in game is the same or they let them know they were a girl in real life or gave some reason.

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Such astounding ignorance.

Quite literally, people don't stalk other people for absolutely "no reason" but that does not necessarily mean that the reason is a mutual circumstance ("something happened") between the victim and the stalker.

Perhaps the stalker favored a particular name, maybe they saw the victim talking in public and established some kind of attachment towards the victim, maybe they were in the same party.............. infinite possibilities.

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Originally Posted by HeroSamson

Doesn't matter, it's hard to believe.

I ain't doing something you guys are all doing, jumping the gun on someone who you guys already branded a stalker without knowing who the person is or getting the other half of the story.

Unless you know this is true, which you do not. don't brand someone if you don't know the whole story.

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If you go read some of the links that were provided by the OP you can see that this person has some issues and that the OP's claims hold some weight.

Based on the lodestone blog and other posts I personally think the stalker in question does indeed have some screws loose; even if you don't consider the stalking claims.

You guys are talking about a "GAME" a false world where people control characters.

1. he has no clue where she lives and probably does not even know what she looks like in real life or know her name.
2. I am ignorant coming from a person who believes a person behind a character is some how going to get you is super ignorant.
3. You start mixing reality with fantasy you have problems.

Remember its just a video game, nobody is holding anyone down and telling them to pay attention to the person.

black list options, GM options and even moving to other servers to get away its not like he has a pair of virtual handcuffs and some rope.

Call me what you want but this could be handled in a better way instead of coming here for answers.

I mean don't want my opinion don't post a topic.

I hope this topic is removed, because this guy could live miles away and just a kid and has zero clue on where they live so yeah.

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Originally Posted by HeroSamson

You guys are talking about a "GAME" a false world where people control characters.

1. he has no clue where she lives and probably does not even know what she looks like in real life or know her name.
2. I am ignorant coming from a person who believes a person behind a character is some how going to get you is super ignorant.
3. You start mixing reality with fantasy you have problems.

Remember its just a video game, nobody is holding anyone down and telling them to pay attention to the person.

black list options, GM options and even moving to other servers to get away its not like he has a pair of virtual handcuffs and some rope.

Call me what you want but this could be handled in a better way instead of coming here for answers.

I mean don't want my opinion don't post a topic.

I hope this topic is removed, because this guy could live miles away and just a kid and has zero clue on where they live so yeah.

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...What? Where are you getting most of this from?

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Originally Posted by Virgil

...What? Where are you getting most of this from?

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That is what I am wondering. That guy's replies do not pertain to any established statements.

The blog entries are unsettling to say the least.. The OP is justified in being freaked out, and there is no reason why *she* should move out and leave her FC and friends behind. She did all she could do (blacklisting, contacting GMs etc...), she has done nothing wrong. If that person keeps on harrassing her its on SE to do something about it, not her.

No, You are ignorant.

1. If I were "CyberStalked" not stalked as the real life term is, I would of blisted and moved on just like every RMT spams me everyday.
2. You guys make such a huge deal about it, when its a really easy thing to deal with.

Now if I was stalked and guy was going through my damn trash can and had my number and emailed me and texted me and chased me around in real life, I would consider this a problem.

but you guys have a twisted image in your heads, You all are jumping this "random person" guess what I am defending this random person so for that im ignorant haha get of of my face.