The greatest lolwut moments on a duty

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Originally Posted by chocomaid

*Pure silence at the start for a good 20 seconds.*

Then I realise I'm the freaking healer. Happens way too many times to me, too many times.

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This has been the story of my life learning to play Healer. I seem to be fine at the actual healing - but it takes me like 10 seconds to always realise that "oh right I'm on buffs"

This happens me too every single time I am healer u.u

Got into a in-progress brayflox hm. Only the white mage was left and she was trying to kill the first mob. Okay, dunno what's with that *joins in on the killing*.

Then pops in a tank and last dps. Yay full party, lets get going!

WHM runs off without casting any buffs, pulls the next mob, continuously casts stone 2, no heals. *hmm*

Runs off & pulls again, tank decides to stand aside, WHM dies. Maybe they got the hint? No. Rinse and repeat. The BLM with us heals instead. Scraped through the first boss and abandoned after that.

Fun times! ^^

WP in the high level roulette. WAR in allagan/ToS gear, but i80 relic. Tank pulls two tonberries and birds - we kill them. Then tank pulls more birds, few pugils and tonberries - i fire cooldowns, tank uses cooldowns too. When this pull is half dead tank goes ahead and pulls the rest of mobs up to the door and just stands there (without any cooldowns available). I use 6 lustrates and tank dies right after the last one used. I write in chat: ":O what happened"? Tank replies: "Heal me pls". I spent the rest of the run explaining him why cooldowns should not be used as soon as they are available, and what each of them do. He had 5 lv50 jobs, including pld - my lecture must have been very annoying to listen, but at least now he knows how to play war. Also we had a dragoon and blm who never used sleep or flare, so finishing this WP took some time.

Copperbell Mines HM....

Paired on roulette with a monk who is silent the entire run and really has no clue what is going on - fine, he's probably new, so myself (BRD) and the healer try to explain to him what to do, but he doesn't listen. Whatever...

We get to the last boss and I say "I will feed and pick up the adds. Monk, just stay on the boss and dps and use the LB when it's ready."

Tank holds boss in center of sand instead of on the side so that he and the monk die. We wipe and start over. I repeat my instructions to the monk and tell the tank where to hold the boss.

The monk then proceeds to pick up every rock around the room one by one and place it on the sand before the worm even spawns........

Coil turn 1 yesterday. We get to Cad, and with 2 bards in the party one bard says he'll play ballad if the other one plays foe at the split. The other bard replies with "I dont have that on my bar, I'm a ps3 player and there's no room."

lolwut?

Then the initial bard tells him he can change hotbars with r1, and I tell him about the r2/l2 held crossbar, so he doesnt even have to switch. But he didn't want to hear any of it. He ended up leaving our group saying "good luck requeuing."

We went with 7, and got the win with ease.

Was duoing Stone Vigil with my friend on our alts and this level 50 white mage with allagan gear (i95 or so), probably doing atma book, got queued with us. I noticed our DPS is going kind of slow so I decide to pay attention to our WHM to see if she's not using any DPS spells in between heals (as someone who has played healer in multiple MMO's this peeves me). What I find her casting instead of Stone 2 is...Ruin. Yep. Spamming the living crap out of it too. We ended up wiping on a trash pull midway through the dungeon because she was so intensely focused on dpsing with Ruin. Rolled 'need' on anything she could that dropped (stuff that was upgrades for me like pink tights that were vendor purchasable look if she wanted it for a glamor...). We never said anything to her or her to us the entire dungeon. I'll never complain about healers who never DPS again...

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Originally Posted by stuscott

Copperbell Mines HM....

Tank holds boss in center of sand instead of on the side so that he and the monk die. We wipe and start over. I repeat my instructions to the monk and tell the tank where to hold the boss.

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This happened to me except I was the monk and the tank was the one who didnt know what he was doing. Nobody ever spoke the entire dungeon and then at the end the tank forces me to dps it in the sand after waiting for him to pull it. We wipe, so our BLM (who was on worm duty) speaks up telling him to move it out of the sand so we can avoid damage. He responds with Russian text so I use the waymarker to show him where to pull it (this was before I knew about the autotranslate tool!). He keeps tanking it in the center so I decide to just not dps. Finally he gets the point and pulls it back but responds in broken English by hurling insults about me being lazy. It boggles me how he came to that conclusion.

Was on Hydra, 3 Bard's in the party including me. White Mage kept burning all his MP.

White Mage: "WE NEED MORE BARD'S PLAYING BALLAD WTF NOT JUST 1"

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Originally Posted by ArcticFang

This happened to me except I was the monk and the tank was the one who didnt know what he was doing. Nobody ever spoke the entire dungeon and then at the end the tank forces me to dps it in the sand after waiting for him to pull it. We wipe, so our BLM (who was on worm duty) speaks up telling him to move it out of the sand so we can avoid damage. He responds with Russian text so I use the waymarker to show him where to pull it (this was before I knew about the autotranslate tool!). He keeps tanking it in the center so I decide to just not dps. Finally he gets the point and pulls it back but responds in broken English by hurling insults about me being lazy. It boggles me how he came to that conclusion.

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Tanking it in the middle is actually a good idea. You only take damage if the worm is right under you, and in the middle, he's not. It also puts you close to most of the rocks in the event you have two melee.

Copperbell Mines HM as a Tank

Party Members: "Go Fast, Please!"
Me: "Okay, will do!"

<pulls 2-3 groups at a time>
<Healer spams Holy on enemies>
<Healer runs out of MP>
<Party Wipes>

Healer: "Why are you pulling so many enemies? You're a stupid tank!"
Me: "You told me to go fast!"
Healer: "Well obviously you're not geared for this."
Me: "My item level is 88! How am I NOT geared for this?"
Healer: "Because you can't take a hit! Now shut up and tank right!"

<tanking one party at a time>
<healer still spamming Holy>
<healer runs out of MP>
<Party wipes again>

Healer: "Oh my god, we got stuck in here with a noob tank."

<I just keep quiet>
<We get to final boss>

Healer: "Do you think you can tank this, noob tank?"

<Ragequit>

Wrong forum selection

Low level Duty Roulette. Titan (normal mode, 4 players). As soon as my character appeared and I saw the party list, I somehow thought it was Titan HM and party members were already disbanding (you know, it's not that rare...), so I left the duty.
Press U for re-queue > "Wait 30 mins." message > lolwut!? > Realize what has happened > Oh man... > /facepalm

Entering in duty roulette a moment before the group making last hit on last boss.

So had just a lovely AV run.

was me (healer) a tank and 2 new dps.
First room we wiped cause of suddenly a mass of mobs are eating us alive (someone must have pulled them all without realizing)
I say to myself fine, people are new, shit happens.
So we do everything nice till the first boss where the tank was explaining the mechanics and said to eat fruit at 2 stacks.
Me being the healer and done this dungeon quite a couple times now say its fine to do at 3 stacks since i know what i am doing. Tanks saids no, his guide (note not experience) saids 2 stacks so it shall be 2 stacks.
So we kill boss 1 and 2 and everything seems to go well till we are right before miser hold and tank saids to pass scorpions to the sides. I instantly knew that this was gonne bite ourselfs later and guess what, 1 pull later someone aggro'd them and we wipe again a couple times (people running to the shortcut spawnpoint and then away from the healers are so lovely) Note that this whole run if i dared to heal twice in short time i had every mob on me except the one the tank was hitting.
Now, we are finally at the last boss and we die a couple times. The tank here takes a lot of bad breaths resulting me into leech like hell just to keep all that bad stuff off him.
Then the tank saids he is leaving yet keeps standing still. Me being annoyed since the time is running out and say "if you are gonne leave, leave. Otherwise get here so we can try again".
Then he saids i need to shut up since i am so bad. Here i honestly exploded and said how i found his tanking so far in this dungeon (i tried to keep my mouth shut since everyone has been bad some day). He then proceeds to say i don't even know the first boss tactics and i am a noob and so forth. Then he loggs out and stays in the dungeon so we have to kick him which gives him no penalty (seriously SE, fix this)

A bit later another tank joins and we proceed to kill the boss in 1 try without anyone dying. Thank you Ice for saving this group.

Joined Garuda (Hard) through trial roulette. The Dps were Me (mnk) 2 more mnks and a drg. Im i94 and the othr dps were barely i55. I was only dps alive through 80% of the fight. I had enough time to Lb3 TWICE. you heard me. Twice. I did so much dps bymyself that I literally did all the damage myself with the other dps being dead everytime they got raised. After we clear it. I get 0 commendations and get called a dick for asking if the other mnks needed help understanding their rotation. My shoulders still hurt from that fight

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Originally Posted by ispano

Tanking it in the middle is actually a good idea. You only take damage if the worm is right under you, and in the middle, he's not. It also puts you close to most of the rocks in the event you have two melee.

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^^^this is how I've always done it...no one ever complained or said anything indicating otherwise. The worm only affects the outer ring of the sand. Only reason you'd get hit is if he is fed in a bad spot, and even then it's not -that- bad.

My derp moment.

-Queue for Lost City of Amdapor in progress on BLM
-No tank or healer, wait for a while with dps
-Get frustrated, leave, and switch to PLD for faster queue
-Beat Diabolos
-I wasn't there for soldiery tomes
-I needed it for my BLM atma book:mad:

Once joined a Dzemael Darkhold run as a monk, the party I was with were all new timers except me. We get up to last part of the duty and obviously since I am a melee user the monster has to be stationary for me to attack. The bard pulls aggro and then decides to do the whole running and attacking thing that alot of bards do. Clearly I can't run and attack so I decided to stand and wait for the bard to either stop running or kill it because I wasn't going to even bother trying to help. Long story short the party decided to kick me because I didn't help the bard after I basically helped them through the run. lolwut?

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Originally Posted by ispano

Tanking it in the middle is actually a good idea. You only take damage if the worm is right under you, and in the middle, he's not. It also puts you close to most of the rocks in the event you have two melee.

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Yeah.. I've always tanked the boss in the middle and I've only ever wiped if the DPS on crystal duty fails to do their job. You don't take any extra damage in the middle of the sand at all.

Seeing a healer, joining my in progress Cutter's Cry because my original healer DC.

Upon seeing it's cutter's cry the replacement healer left without saying a word... and then re-joined.... then left... over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

I was running T1 with my Dragoon yesterday...

The Off tank was new, which is fine. We get to ADS and since we do not have a Bard, The Paladin MT says he'll silence what he can. So, we're all getting hit by high voltage. The issue here, obviously is that we're stunned at times while trying to move out of the AOEs. Plus, the tanks were at the opposite end from each other and every ADS would target the off tank, he would move to the middle and then move back to the MT after. So, not only were the two Melee having to run out of AOEs while being stunned and slowed, but we were also having to chase ADS around when he'd move. On top of that, the healers wouldn't heal us when we got hit so if it happened twice, we were dead.

After a couple wipes, the healer says "The DPS is way too low so the OT is getting one shot". The OT then states that he has a parcer up and none of the DPS are doing more than 150 DPS. The main tank then start chastising us because "OMG, pick it up DPS, you have a 10% boost!". I then make a comment about not getting any heals at all and the healer says "Stop getting hit". As if we can move out of AOEs while we're stunned.... the healers also could have leeched/esunaed the paralyze now, but of course they didn't do that either. On top of that, the OT, who claimed all of the DPS sucked, kept whining because he kept getting owned due to "there are too adds over here and they keep one shotting me". I tanked this before the echo and never got one shot by those adds. And I would always gather them all. I'm guessing he just doesn't know how to CD...

Needless to say, I left the group and ate the timer.

While I'm doing horrible atma fates I queue for low level duty to break it up a little.

Get Titan storyline mode. Yay! Quick, easy tomes. I notice as I zone in there's a THM there, making he and me both ranged. Double yay! Then... I see it. (Player identity and appearance has been blurred out since, y'know, showing people by name isn't nice.)

http://i.imgur.com/95iwp7E.jpg

Equipment is a hempen shepherds robe, hempen chuasses, bone ring, and voice of the just. ilevel... 4 maybe? :(

ANYWAY.

This player attempts to sleep Titan repeatedly, and doesn't... really know any form of rotation. But it gets worse! The WHM has no idea what he's doing, and individually cures everybody with Cure II at the end of each tumult. Not at the end of all 3. When Titan uses Geocrush, he and the THM move into the red area, and fall. The WHM at least seems to listen to advice, and I tell him that he's a little high on the hate list. It's best to medica twice after tumult, and stack on the tank after Geocrush to heal all of us more effectively, for less MP, and less emnity. I then ask the THM to see to Gaols with me, just in case he's unsure.

Second attempt! the WHM medicas after every single tumult, instead of waiting for all 3 to pass. He and the THM are then landslided, since they're stacked atop one another and wait for their casts to finish before moving. I think it's just poor luck and we'll get it on the third attempt, and the WAR gets an attitude. Third attempt, the WAR runs into the red and falls. I remain silent, not wanting to rub his attitude in his face, and he capslocks THE DOG HIT MY F**KING HAND!! GODDAMNIT! and I just... don't say anything. I just tell the WHM and THM that if they're having lag problems, if they get close to Titan, they can recover from Landslides by not being pushed over the edge.

4th attempt! THM landslided, again. WHM is still medica'ing after every tumult, runs out of MP, and fails to heal the WAR. The WAR dies, and abandons duty in a silent reagquit.

...The only vote abandon I've ever had to do.

I did titan story mode as a low level duty roulette.
Our bard uses the first minute to try to activate 2 different ballads, so he changes between two of them for a minute before starting dpsing, then gets hit by a landslide and falls down. Our healer used limit break level 1 for some reason. And me and the tank were both level 50 so we knew what we were doing. After the healer gets hit by a landslide and wipes we try again.

The bard does exactly the same thing and gets hit by the first landslide and falls down
and then our healer gets hit by a landslide too and we wipe

Third attempt, the bard..well you know the story, he gets hit by the first landslide (I really don't blame him I had some problems too my first titan run)
The healer manages to dodge the landslides and the tank has to kill the Gaol cause I got gaoled all the time
In the end, titan has like 10% hp left and we almost got LB 2, healer used lb for no reason, even though I asked him not to do that.
Then the healers get hit by double plumes or something while doing the lb animation and manages to die.
So me and the tank keep going and finally titan goes down.

I don't blame new players for failing at titan, I think that was the hardest part for me while leveling up my main. But it was just so funny to watch

As whm, healing through a dungeon without any problem, then find out that your mana pool was going down and down, and you don't understand why. Then you realize Cure I and II were swapped.

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Originally Posted by KinnisonArc

Queued for expert roulette and got into an ongoing brayflox hm immediately after start queue, they were all at the last boss locking the fight out for me, halfway on the way to the boss, the leftover couerl that they didn't kill saw me and I was on this hit and run one-on-one battle with it as a bard, the three members cheered me on while they're at the bomb phase. I kept running around in and out the narrow path to keep a distant from the couerl because of its aoe paralysis and then managed to take it down without dying, when I get back to the boss right after the BLM dps managed to take down the bomb with LB and then they defeated the boss without me, I got 45 soldiery just for killing a feline.

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Nya?.... Wait, this shocked me a little. I thought it was impossible to join an already started party while doing roulette. Can somebody correct me? I'm a noob after all, but... all, ALL my roulettes (and all my roulettes mean, all of them tanking) have been started from scratch in new group... Doesn't happen the same when I choose a normal dungeon (without roulette) than then almost with a 50% I enter to an already started party where tank ragequitted.

Edit: Oh, but, wait, this is for adding lolwut moments... Uhm... Let's see what can I find around..... Ah, yes, yesterday.

I entered a Praetorium because of roulette and said my classical especial "ragequit filter" message. I said something like "Hi. I'm just a poor noob from the new EU server, Zodiark, nice to meet you all!" followed of a "I don't know very well the dungeon so I hope *name of the tank+senpai* can lead us to victory"

Then... The other tank ragequitted, well, nothing rare, I can't really count how many people ragequits after my salute... So we had to did the preaetorium with me solo-tanking... And we did it fine, it's not really a difficult battle or where it is needed two tanks...

The shock comes what happened after praetorium... THIS:

http://i.gyazo.com/ea429f97673036c7be0218770ebadf86.png
http://i.gyazo.com/e1a027755b7762ff0e41399d94a0666f.png

I said I was a noob at the first, I did nothing especial at all... Then why the hell everyone in the dungeon except one guy voted me?!... That was just... weird... I almost could imagine them saying this while voting: "Oh, I'm bored. I guess I'll vote the noob".

There were two healers doing an awesome work... I just didn't get it at all...

PS: Ah, yes, In the image you maybe received a shock noticing it.... .. ... Revenant's toll is empty!.... At least for now, in Zodiark is like that, it is epic. I have only seen these last week that its population increased in 7-10 or so when I visit, 4 of that are bots.

Watching someone dying to the gas in 1.0 Arum Vale, wondering why the whm was just letting it happen. Realising I'm the whm as they hit the floor. ( I was always mnk in there, first time in any dungeon as a healer and forgot lol)
Another time in there the whm (not me this time) deciding that the gas room was a good place to stop to have a conversation with someone outside the dungeon in /tell.

Being told by a healer in Titan HM to not stand in the middle. In other words, only the healers would be stacking plumes and the ranged DD's would be everywhere else. Something tells me they're going to have a great time in Titan EX...

I know, it's not that much of a lolwut, but to me, this is pretty much the biggest lolwut I've ever had in this game (excluding those times I was hit by plumes and landslides back in November. I was totally out of them I swears).

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Originally Posted by charlemagne

Watching someone dying to the gas in 1.0 Arum Vale, wondering why the whm was just letting it happen. Realising I'm the whm as they hit the floor. ( I was always mnk in there, first time in any dungeon as a healer and forgot lol)
Another time in there the whm (not me this time) deciding that the gas room was a good place to stop to have a conversation with someone outside the dungeon in /tell.

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Tbh, people should never stand in that gas in the first place.
I always get annoyed as a healer when someone stands taking damage for no reason and say something like "please move out of the gas, it hurts".

I saw a dragoon (at this point I don't really need to go on) die from not moving out of the poison spit on Caduceus because he couldn't tell that he was taking damage.

Had one of the most horrible experiences recently.

Went on the Roulette and ended up with Ifrit Story Mode.

I thought "Alright, this is an easy fight"
The DPS were both new, an Arcanist and a Thaumaturge, respectively. (I was playing Scholar)

We wiped on the Nail phase, but I thought "no biggie", and explained the Nail, both said OK and readied up.

Get to the Nail phase again, one DPS hits the nail, the other one keeps attacking Ifrit. We wipe again.

Prep them for it again, and mention the Limit Break this time. I explain how to use it, and to use it at soon as it's ready.
Get to the Nail, not a Limit Break or DPS in sight.

Each time, the DPS aren't using the Limit Break at all.

Next try, I saw the DPS using the LB. "GREAT!", I thought.
What does he do? He misses. He misses the Nail. We wipe.

Next try, we had the LB ready as soon as the nail phase started, so the DPS had plenty of time to cast.
20-30ish seconds later, no LB in sight. Just as the Nail disappears, the DPS starts casting. 20 seconds of nothing followed by a wipe.

Several more wipes and plenty of explaining of mechanics, the tank and I had had enough.
I had never abandoned a dungeon before, no matter how bad it was. But I was at my breaking point.

We spent over an hour trying to help these 2 DPS learn the fight. They just would not listen to anything.

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Originally Posted by Bamboofox

Once tanked a Stone Vigil where one of the DPS was a level 42 THM. I think it was an accident; I asked him before we started how come he wasn't a BLM and he replied with "dammit sorry" and then didn't speak another word the whole run. Poor guy.

Also queued in progress into Tam-Tara where the rest of the party was already on the final boss. I watched them win from the entrance. I was basically only there so they could fill and use LB. :(

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I had something like that happen to me once. First time doing Garuda Extreme..I went in on Archer.

As for my own contribution, the most recent 'lolwut' moment came after a Turn 4 Party Finder group.

Party organizer creates party, sets it as a Need>Greed, with Caster Pants "reserved". I should've just ignored it and continued to search for another group or make my own, but since it was almost full, I decided to go with it, I was after the same item. I was fine at the time with simply rolling on the next pants that should happen to drop, it was his party, so it is what it is.

Several runs in, like the 5th or 6th run, the caster pants finally drop. He gets his lot, after "Thats mine, thats mine, dont lot, dont lot" etc, terrified someone was going to ninja need them I suppose, or out greed him. I continued to run for a few more, but no more pants dropped. However, the real moment occurred after about the 9th run, someone apparently decided to check the party leader's profile on lodestone. . . . . . his blm is level 35. He cant even equip the damn gear.

To this day I don't know if I should be upset with him for being ridiculous or myself for actually participating in the party for so long, even after hearing that bit of news.

Doing Turn 1 runs for some easy loot...a monk in mostly af1 / peltast volunteers to solo silence ADS. We have no Bard OR Pld (it was DF), and I was MNK too. So I warily agree...misses 3 in a row so I take over. On Caduceus, he stands directly in front of it...dies promptly (of course), get raised a further 2 times after standing stationary inside its targeting circle this time.....says "I'll wait for weakness to wear off". And...literally stands there at a distance waiting D: . Okay, whatever, thanks to echo and excessive gear on the rest of us it's no big deal, we'll carry this poor guy.

Weakness wears off...he Shoulder Tackles into one of the snakes and instantly dies to tail swipe.

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Originally Posted by Nestama

Being told by a healer in Titan HM to not stand in the middle. In other words, only the healers would be stacking plumes and the ranged DD's would be everywhere else. Something tells me they're going to have a great time in Titan EX...

I know, it's not that much of a lolwut, but to me, this is pretty much the biggest lolwut I've ever had in this game (excluding those times I was hit by plumes and landslides back in November. I was totally out of them I swears).

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I've never stacked plumes in Titan HM. You don't need to. Really, you don't; arena is more than big enough to spread them out. I don't know how many times I've beat him too; too many, definitely

In a 8 man fight for something...I don't remember what.

We had 3 Bards and our healer ran out of MP at one point....

Guess what we never got? xD

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Originally Posted by Miste

In a 8 man fight for something...I don't remember what.

We had 3 Bards and our healer ran out of MP at one point....

Guess what we never got? xD

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Player commendation for the healer using good MP management?

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Originally Posted by Mcshiggs

Player commendation for the healer using good MP management?

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Healer was having a hard time cause people died, Raise costs like 800 MP...so the correct answer was Ballad! ^^

Bump because this was a great thread

I was running Snowcloak the other day in Duty Finder, and I had a Paladin that refused to use Shield Oath. I asked numerous times and used the auto translator.

Nothing. But since I was Dragoon I didn't want to queue again so I rolled with it. Kind of fun having a tank speed run pull without Shield Oath. I became a pretty excellent Dragoon tank. I just.... wut?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPhfnhW9fmg