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So they mark it off their to do list and walk away if they don't have an actual interest in housing. The housing would still be getting enjoyed by those who like having a home for their character and decorating.
That's already happening here. How many players have their house just to mark it off the to do list but never really make use of them? Because they've done that and won't give up the house they aren't using, it's forcing SE to expand wards so those who sincerely want a house can get it. If this was an instanced system, players checking it off their "to do" list and then igoring it wouldn't be a problem.
The reason those other games are "dead or gone" is because the developers failed at the core aspects of their games in some way. None of those games mentioned were housing-focused games, just as FFXIV is not a housing focused game.
Does it make sense to keep a system going where those who don't appreciate what they have get to keep it, while those who would appreciate having it can't get it? It seems like you're talking about players that only see housing as a symbol of prestige. Not everyone views housing in that way. Remove the prestige element created by scarcity and the former would lose interest in housing while the latter would have a more enjoyable game experience.
The housing system is based on resources; those failed games dumped resources into homes that were not important enough to "keep" players in the game. Part of the point of housing in FF is that people stay around because they realize if they leave and their house gets demoed; they will have a hard time getting it again. SE does want longevity and fair weather players checking off "the list" will not provide that - also I would argue FF 14 has a much large importance of housing then other games simply by the virtue of all the markets and social media and sites that the housing system for FF (and largely Only FF) produces.