Should I Kick before being Kicked?

Indeed this is not a slow paced game and I can be the most nice and understanding person in a party sometimes but I have no patience for someone who is going to stand there between pulls silent and doing nothing from my perspective. Same with mark targets, you need to do it fast as you are moving or not at all, preferably not at all.

If I have to wait over a minute between pulls I would vote kick as well, esp if the tank got snotty with me, which this guy seems to do. Even his posts on here sound, let's just say not worded in a polite manner.

Honestly by level 40 you should be well enough versed in your job to keep moving and not have to stop and think before each and every pull, or just dps until you get a feel for how the game works. I can understand taking a new dungeon slower, but you should still be confident enough in your skill set to run into a group and go for it. Explain your new, if you screw up its more forgivable to wipe then loooooooooong waits.

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Originally Posted by Eumona

It's clear I have been misunderstood and this misunderstanding is likely not going to change (after about a year or so I am still hearing the same advice). I'll continue to figure out my problems using my own methods.

Dealing with people in the way many players proposed will likely make everyone happy but me. (i.e. there isn't much room for creativity using the methods that were proposed).

This game may be old to many but it's not to me. I'll will not be completely robbed of the quality experience players had when this game was launched; where "no one knew anything". It's no coincidence that my missions run smoother with players my own skill level given the caution they show.

I was hopeful that I would get a "new" experience by reaching out...

For now, I'll Solo Play and stick to my research.

Thanks for your participation.

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Have you ever thought that if everyone is telling you the same thing that maybe it's correct? If you mean to say that when this game launched that things were much different, then I'm sorry to say no they weren't. I was there. It's always been about the same (with dungeons/leveling). If anything there are more new players now more than ever that are starting from scratch. Many of the people starting off *right* at launch were likely enthusiasts of this genre of games. I see more players just playing ffxiv as their first "MMO" game now more than I did in the last 2+ years.

I mean, I get what the point of this thread was. You want some kind of gratification for your actions. I can understand you would want to feel you were in the right. People were being rude and you felt uncomfortable most likely. I'd feel uncomfortable too. My best advice is, if you do a random group like that again and things go bad... just leave the group? That's what I do. If people in a random roulette want to try to start some crap I just leave. It's a 30minute penalty... it's nothing. I go gather/craft...get a snack or whatever. It's not worth me having a heated discussion with a stranger for no reason. You can find another group easily in just a short bit where maybe it would go better.

Having a heated discussion about tactics in a dungeon roulette isn't worth it. If I can clear a dungeon 99.9% of the time with not a word and someone wants to nitpick my playing or something all of a sudden or wants me to do something I'm not comfortable doing...then I can just bail. It's not a big deal to leave at all. It doesn't hurt them either. They get a new person. Maybe the new person is fine with whatever they were saying too and they will be happy. This doesn't happen often but I used to play a lot so of course you get a weird situation eventually. Plan what you want to do before you get into those heated situations. It's a MMO so of course you'll run into other people. Some people of course aren't going to get along. It doesn't make either of you wrong or bad. It happens. It's not even a big deal if handled properly.

this is pretty much why you wait an age for tanks in DF. First, a lot of people won't even bother to learn tanking, and second, even after you have, you have no desire to put up with the crap of others deciding they'll pull whatever they want, whenever they want (and with zero regard for how much MP/TP the tank might have at the time, if they are still learning/lower geared, etc). I doubt I'm the only one out there who can tank OK but isn't the slightest bit interested in doing it through DF.

To me, my original post is neutral in attitude; not emotional at all.

All my post are not attacking anyone directly; I know how to speak without doing so. However and in my experience, too many players do not do the same. They confuse my neutrality with "impoliteness" and become angered by it and try to put me down. They sometimes rationalize why their behavior was justified but always seem to move on without care. If I were to behave in the same manner, the outcome would be different, I would be kicked on the spot.

I take what I'm told with a grain of salt. Too many players don't care if their information helps. They just want to enjoy themselves.

My thread: How do you feel about being Kicking before being Kicked? I didn't dive into the reasons why I made the post. I didn't believe players would care about that at all.

Maybe you could change the way you write a little to sound more polite, don't need to much effort to do that.

Also I would not like to see my tank enter a little coma everytime the mobs die to "think" his next move. I'm also a new tank and I've started last month, but I'm always thinking what should I do, what mob should I focus on, where are my party members, where's the next pull? Will it aggro if someone do stupid things on this one (so I can be prepared for that)? What mob should I focus on the next pull that has aoe? Where the DPS are likely to position themselves then? Where should I position myself to make the AOEs only land on me? Will the DPS attack all mobs or will they attack only the one I'm attacking at the time?

You should be always thinking, all the time, not only when it's the time to pull a new pack of mobs.

Honestly, people usually kick people for telling others what to do or for being really horrible. If you're a tank, just make sure you know how to use your cool downs and are able to get hate. I saw in a comment that you were kicked from Qarn after trying to tell the healer how to heal and then arguing with the dps about the bees. At this point in the game, most people expect final sting to be stunned. So there's a tip for you to avoid that argument. Also, you can mark things with a 1 to try to get the dps to focus it. Just accept that people are learning how to play their class in lower level dungeons, sometimes even in level 60 dungeons x_x. You focus on what you need to do and let them figure it out. You can always ask people in dungeons to let you know if you can do something to help them or if they have any feedback for you. That generally negates any upset if you make a mistake and people, from my experience, are willing to help you figure it out.

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Originally Posted by Eumona

To me, my original post is neutral in attitude; not emotional at all.

All my post are not attacking anyone directly; I know how to speak without doing so. However and in my experience, too many players do not do the same. They confuse my neutrality with "impoliteness" and become angered by it and try to put me down. They sometimes rationalize why their behavior was justified but always seem to move on without care. If I were to behave in the same manner, the outcome would be different, I would be kicked on the spot.

I take what I'm told with a grain of salt. Too many players don't care if their information helps. They just want to enjoy themselves.

My thread: How do you feel about being Kicking before being Kicked? I didn't dive into the reasons why I made the post. I didn't believe players would care about that at all.

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In the kind of situation described by the person who was with you, you could go ahead and try to kick, I doubt anyone would agree. And you come off extremely arrogant saying this situation "isn't likely to change". You got clear advice on what to do in that dungeon and the only reason it wouldn't change is if you continue to not heed that advice.

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Originally Posted by Alistaire

"Snip"

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Players can go at the pace a level demands and not impose their own standards for complete "strangers" to follow (ex: jumping ahead of the tank because their "too slow"). If I'm making missteps, I'll figure it out, not listening to "advice" from someone that doesn't even know how I learn much less take responsibility for the outcome of my actions.

Ultimately, most players would not care whether I do well or not, which was the case of the player that was trying to discipline me by not healing me. Too many players just role play the part of a "philanthropist" because it's fun. They don't care whether or not their help is really helping. Slow and steady is better method to run with then speed and haste. I have and still do believe that low level dungeons is place for players to learn at a comfortable pace.

Bottom Line: I should be able to run low level instances without direct criticism. Let the game be the leader (i.e. making the standards and rules); it's likely going to be more consistently fair and better to follow for a bunch of "strangers".

Side Note: Currently, it seems to be best to look at the rules of the game to understand if I did anything out of turn.

this thread is still going on( *｀ω´)

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Originally Posted by Chabetsu

this thread is still going on( *｀ω´)

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Not really, OP just doesn't know it yet.